Rules for Pets. - Page 4

limey · 09-21-2009, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

1) I know you bought me a heated pad, but you are the next best heat source in the house. Therefore whether you are naked, on the internet, on the phone or getting ready to go out, you need to be available to warm me up.
2) I like to stop and check the scenery on the way downstairs. As I don't have eyes in the back of my heard it's up to you to watch out for me. Anyway, it sharpens your reflexes.
3) There is nothing quite so satisfying as a big smelly log in a virgin tray. It's one of life's great pleasure. So don't be all grumpy and holding your nose and gagging because I've waited til you've just changed it before laying down some nuclear waste.
4) I'm a sociable cat. If there are chicken bones lelft in my dish after my immediate hunger has been sated, I reserve the right to come and gnaw them on your bed, or on the sofa if you are in the living room. I know the raw marrow is messy - but it's tasty, deal with it!
5) Sometimes I don't know what I want. I want you to know! So I will follow you round the house and make a creaking noise to get your attention, and then not be satisfied with whatever you do. This is my right.
6) As I am not capable of playing with other cats nicely, I need your input and involvement in every game I play. I even make up new ones to include you, like Climb Behind The DVDs and Knock Down Them All Down, or Let's Explore the Mantelpiece!

Yours has been teaching mines on correspondence course, SG! Especially:
Rules 2 and 3 unamended
Rule 4 amended to read live rodents from the field instead of chicken bones
Rule 5 amended to read pitiful mewing not creaking.

Griff · 09-21-2009, 04:38 PM

rule 1) i can haz frizbee
rule 2) see rule 1

capnhowdy · 09-21-2009, 07:07 PM

Ball is priority over all things. Including your dinner, china, and furniture. Rugs are simply foot to floor shock absorbers.

Queen of the Ryche · 09-22-2009, 02:35 PM

I brungz you de birdy to say fank yuz fer da rubs and da gud fudz. Sorry it not quite dead and poop in yers rooms.

Gravdigr · 09-24-2009, 05:38 AM

Gravdigrz Cat Rules

1. No dairy for Slick. He's lactose intolerant, and I don't like cleaning up used milk.

2. Nobody, but NOBODY, gets love without Slick in the middle.

3. If people have spaghetti, Slick has spaghetti, or people bleed.

09-21-2009, 04:38 PM	#47
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	rule 1) i can haz frizbee rule 2) see rule 1 __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

09-21-2009, 07:07 PM	#48
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	Ball is priority over all things. Including your dinner, china, and furniture. Rugs are simply foot to floor shock absorbers. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

09-22-2009, 02:35 PM	#49
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	I brungz you de birdy to say fank yuz fer da rubs and da gud fudz. Sorry it not quite dead and poop in yers rooms. __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

09-24-2009, 05:38 AM	#50
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Gravdigrz Cat Rules 1. No dairy for Slick. He's lactose intolerant, and I don't like cleaning up used milk. 2. Nobody, but NOBODY, gets love without Slick in the middle. 3. If people have spaghetti, Slick has spaghetti, or people bleed. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

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