John Kerry taking dubious page from Howard Dean's book

[Aliantha]

now now kids. lol

[DanaC]

Maybe we should all just bow down and recognise the intellectual giant that is Urbane Guerilla.

[xoxoxoBruce]

John Kerry tells jokes
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10, but 15 if the blondes are some of our nation's farmers.
--------
Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Interrupting Politician who accidentally insults constituents!
Interrupting Politician who accidentally insults const—
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE LAZY!
-----------
Last night I had this dream that I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up, my pillow was gone! I'm thinking it was probably stolen by a WWII veteran and sold for drugs.
---------------
A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “Get out. God is dead and religion is the opiate of the masses.”
---------------
Q: How do you know an elephant's been in your refrigerator?
A: By the footprints in the ashes of 911 victims.
I mean, 911 victims' pizza.
Wait a second. Just pizza.
-----------------
Q: What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?
A: A teacher who gives blood tests, but remains employed due to the strength of corrupt unions.
------------------
Take my wife, please. Seriously, women are useless.
----------------------
Three men are stranded on an island when they find an old lamp and rub it. Suddenly, a genie appears and offers to grant them each one wish. The first man wishes to be off the island and, poof, he's gone. The second man wishes to be off the island, and poof, he's gone. The third man says, “Gee, I'm really lonely. I wish the Jews wouldn't start all the wars in the world.”
---------------------
A waiter brings a restaurant patron a bowl of soup. The patron notices a fly and says, “Hey, there's a fly in my soup.” The waiter replies, “Yes. Unfortunately our chef is Latino.”
------------------------
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To head into the army recruiting office so he could fight in Iraq.
Oh, wait. I told that wrong. I forgot to say the chicken was retarded.
-----------------------

It's pretty clear that Kerry was wise not to become a comedienne, 'cause he sucks at it.
Sticking to being a compassionate human is his forte.

[Urbane Guerrilla]

Making John Forbes Kerry into a comedienne would take a lot of expensive work.

[Urbane Guerrilla]

Originally Posted by Ibram

I have no interest in 'baiting' you, only making fun of and/or insulting you, which is fast becoming boring and far too easy.

Get thee to a dictionary; go. This was even worse thought out than that post of yours about how you can hold every communist opinion that ever was, push every communist take on anything that ever was, and still not be a communist.

Not exactly up to your best potential intellectually, and snotty doesn't impress except as proof of not being mature. You need reminding that you want to look smart on this forum, and having wisdom is good too. Again, it is not within your power to bait me, though it is within your power to bore me.

[Aliantha]

So what're you doing answering him UG?

[Ibby]

Yawn.

Like I said, fast growing boring.

Quick, over there! Another liberal conspiracy! Go yell at them so I can laugh at you some more.

[WabUfvot5]

Tsk tsk, it's a communist conspiracy, not a liberal one; haven't you learned anything Ibram?

Honestly I'd like to see UG paint the whole canvas if you will. The whole story (in a nutshell) with legitmate links to show why he believes the way he does.

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by Urbane Guerrilla

... I remind him that he's not in my weight class -- ...

Light weight?
Waiting tables?
10 pounds of sand pounded up your ass?

[Flint]

Originally Posted by Urbane Guerrilla

...I remind him that he's not in my weight class...

[Aliantha]

lol...poor UG. They're making fun of you now.

[Urbane Guerrilla]

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

Light weight?
Waiting tables?
10 pounds of sand pounded up your ass?

Spexx, I've already taken your measure, and found you ill-equipped to duel with me: persons ignorant of guns, of gun control and its necessity to later genocides, get sandbagged with those ten pounds, and continually.

And this is your idea of an appropriate reaction to getting schooled? You emotionally immature bitch of a leftist, you -- something not unheard of among the left, for it seems to require a certain immaturity to stay Left. Take your resentments, spindle them, and insert them, as I've less time for them than you, busymouth. Take your lesson, too, whiner, and shut the hell up. I'm here to make you a better human being, as your current condition doesn't show much to recommend it. I do not do what you are doing.

Which will cause me to stay interested in your condition, truth to tell.

[Urbane Guerrilla]

Flint: needs a full beard, grizzled in large vertical stripes, and a longer mustache, sufficient for waxing a la George V. In fact he needs to look more English and less Italian. Oh, and sleeves on the T-shirt, which I'm not wearing just now as the room's oddly warm and I'm living through the getting-over-a-cold ickies -- that unpleasant sweat when you do anything, like stand up.

I'm a good sport.

[Urbane Guerrilla]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

So what're you doing answering him UG?

My yawns are more articulate than his. He doesn't like it, but I beat him on experience, having more of it than he. Really, the very materially worst things I've ever done to the poor kid has been to say "solecism," and to tell him that if he really knew all there was to know about communism and communist propaganda, he'd've spotted tw for a communist before I did. Right about then, he decided he'd try making me feel bad by getting nasty. Fat chance of that.

Jeb, I'm not all that much on linking, to be sure, though there is some from time to time. For an overall picture of the essential Guerrilla, try searching up every single post I've written. The bulk of it is there, if not in great concentration. Or you can PM me if you like, I have no problem with corresponding. (Can't remember if my email's up to date or not.)

I have a martial-arts background, I shoot a little and politick a lot, I reckon too much government is bad for just about everyone, I've read most of what Robert A. Heinlein wrote, was converted to political Libertarianism by reading Murray Rothbard (and concluded immediately that libertarian thinking might cure a lot of what ails the sicker, poorer nations of Latin America) though I don't share his touching faith in anarchy as the Solution to It All, and since our foes in the present war are thoroughgoing antidemocrats, we should cut their throats like chickens in a processing plant and make their carcasses into something useful, as the democratic cause is humanity's cause. That's the nutshell.

[Flint]

Originally Posted by Urbane Guerrilla

I'm a good sport.

You realize that's Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, right? Anyway...
I figured you wouldn't take it the wrong way. You big internet-opinion-having guy, you.