Sycamore Solves a Good Percentage of the Cellar's Job Problems - Page 7

Uryoces · 03-20-2003, 08:29 PM

Sycamore: "And that's our show -- biotch!"

Theme music, "Holiday in Cambodia", perfromed by the Chronos Quartet, swells.

Slang: "Oh yeah?" Grunt. Shuffle. *Flick, flick, flick*. "Hnnnnh! ..."

***FOOSH!!!***
***KABLAM!!!***

*Screams, panic, general mayhem*...

Sycamore: "Oh God!!! I'm covered in Slang!"

slang · 03-20-2003, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Uryoces
Sycamore: "And that's our show -- biotch!"

"Now buy our sponsor's crap so we can avoid real jobs"

elSicomoro · 03-20-2003, 08:59 PM

There's a talk show in St. Louis--Frank O. Pinion during afternoon drive time on KTRS-AM...Goddamn...he's funny. Rather than drawing a salary from KTRS, he makes all his money off his sponsors. And he always works them into his show somehow.

"So, I went to get a new chair for the living room this weekend."

"Where did you get it, Frank?"

"Well, I went to the place with the greatest stuff in town...Gringo Joe's."

We could do shit like that.

"So Syc, what did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, the woman and I went out for cheesesteaks."

"That sounds good? Where'd you git em from?"

"The best damned cheesesteak joint in South Philadelphia...Philip's, at 23rd and Passyunk."

wolf · 03-20-2003, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by slang

I stand in the mirror with my pistol wearing my dumb assed gas garb and tell people to fuck off pointing the gun at them for fun.

I think you forgot one sweetie ...

"You talkin' to me?"

(yes, I'm watching for the mohawk.)

slang · 03-21-2003, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sycamore
We could do shit like that.

You could wear the pimpin' coat and use the way cool cellphone. Before long millions of people would want the "stuff Syc uses".

Ok, so looks like your fortune is made, how the fuck am I gonna get rich with this?

Undertoad · 03-21-2003, 02:31 PM

Open an e-store to sell Officially Licensed Pimpin' Coats(TM) and Pimpin' Wireless(tm), of course!

wolf · 03-21-2003, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by slang
Ok, so looks like your fortune is made, how the fuck am I gonna get rich with this?

I thought you were going to sell the advertising space on your forehead.

In addition to your own product endorsements (including Glock, Federal, Carhart, and a heavy equipment company to be named later) there are mutiple merchandising opportunities.

I'll ghostwrite the series of best-selling books and commentary for yah. (you will notice that this is the exclusive province of the conservative member of a lib/cons talk team ... Hannity's selling like hotcakes, nothing from Colmes. Buchanan's making a mint, no books from Press ... wait, my bad. Press DOES have a book. It's even just come out in paperback! Amazon.com sales rank is #70,979. Oops. Just for comparison ... Death of the West's sales rank is 13,186. both books were published within a month of each other, so it's not a matter of time of availability)

There will also be the exciting and educational Slangsurvival video series, in which you share your handy hints for preparing for the coming apocalypse.

The SlanGame, a first-person-shooter, in which you have the opportunity to tote a variety of weapons, make an assortment of funny remarks, hose down coworkers at the SJFH with high-octane fuel, which you THEN set alight by lighting one of your own farts in the asshead's general direction is also sure to be a great hit.

As companion products to the video game, the Slang™ action figure, accessories, and playsets will surely be a big hit with the children. (And why do we do this if NOT "for the children"?)

I'm only getting warmed up here. This is a marketing GOLDMINE.

THEN you head down to the bank, cash the checks, and head down to the nice coin merchant down the street. Come home, we bury it in the backyard.

perth · 03-21-2003, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wolf
The SlanGame, a first-person-shooter, in which you have the opportunity to tote a variety of weapons, make an assortment of funny remarks, hose down coworkers at the SJFH with high-octane fuel, which you THEN set alight by lighting one of your own farts in the asshead's general direction is also sure to be a great hit.

i would totally play that. maybe radar can be the an early game enemy, like the imps in doom. or for a better example, the goombas in super mario bros.

~james

slang · 03-21-2003, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wolf
The SlanGame, a first-person-shooter

I like it. Slangame will make Sin City look like a sunday school game.

At last a profitable venture for my own brand of rural violent insanity.

How does this tie into the show again? Oh, Syc is wearing the Pimpin' Coat and calling on the Pimpin Cell phone in the game as I am spinning shock and awe in my own game. Gotcha.

slang · 03-21-2003, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by perth
maybe radar can be the an early game enemy

Radar's not a good enemy, but he's a *great* irritator. Maybe one of the obstacles in the game can be Radar on a soapbox that you have to knock over to find a key er something.

His words would be like chalk squeeking across a board. Maybe he could throw some mixed drinks on the person trying to uncover the key too.

This could be a great game. Maybe HB could hand people their asses too? We could get everybody in on this. Even Pie.

Hey I just thought of some accessories. Everyone playing the game gets an electrode hooked up to them. When yer character takes a hit, ya get a shock. Whaddya think?

wolf · 03-21-2003, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by slang
His words would be like chalk squeeking across a board. Maybe he could throw some mixed drinks on the person trying to uncover the key too.

That could actually be dangerous to the user later in the game ... because if you light a fart too soon after getting coated in liquor, you could burst into open flame ...

slang · 03-21-2003, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wolf
you could burst into open flame ...

SlanGame would deduct points and life for that.

elSicomoro · 03-21-2003, 10:05 PM

See Slang...it's not that hard to make the green.

Now then, I will take issue with the whole book thing. Wolf, we're talking ME here. Rank #70,000 my azz. Don't forget that while writing "new liberal" material (I like that...I'm going to start the New Liberal Party), I will also be selling books of my poetry.

And do you think people actually READ those books they're buying right now? They sit on coffee tables to look good.

wolf · 03-21-2003, 10:57 PM

There isn't any room left on my coffee table for those books ... (yes, even if I move the AK parts off of it).

And I've actaully read all of 'em ... I'm telling you there is a goldmine in them thar pages. You're just jealous because as the token liberal you won't get as lucrative a book deal.

You know how it is ... conservatives read, liberals watch TV.

Because I like you very much, Syc, I'm not even going to start the discussion of sales figures of books of poetry ... even ones by extremely popular poets. (you, of course, would set an entirely new standard and past experience does not apply here).

But don't worry Syc, you still have the Pimpin Coat and Accessories.

elSicomoro · 03-22-2003, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wolf
And I've actaully read all of 'em ... I'm telling you there is a goldmine in them thar pages. You're just jealous because as the token liberal you won't get as lucrative a book deal.

Don't be so sure...how much you think Michael Moore will get for his next book? Or either Clinton...for that matter, can you imagine the kind of cash Chelsea Clinton could get for a book about growing up in the White House? Gonzo bucks.

Shit, I'd be happy with a $1-2 mil advance...hell, I'd take $200K at this point.

03-21-2003, 10:57 PM	#104
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	There isn't any room left on my coffee table for those books ... (yes, even if I move the AK parts off of it). And I've actaully read all of 'em ... I'm telling you there is a goldmine in them thar pages. You're just jealous because as the token liberal you won't get as lucrative a book deal. You know how it is ... conservatives read, liberals watch TV. Because I like you very much, Syc, I'm not even going to start the discussion of sales figures of books of poetry ... even ones by extremely popular poets. (you, of course, would set an entirely new standard and past experience does not apply here). But don't worry Syc, you still have the Pimpin Coat and Accessories. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis Last edited by wolf; 03-21-2003 at 11:09 PM.

03-20-2003, 08:29 PM	#91
Uryoces 2nd Covenant, yo Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Pugetropolis Posts: 583	Sycamore: "And that's our show -- biotch!" Theme music, "Holiday in Cambodia", perfromed by the Chronos Quartet, swells. Slang: "Oh yeah?" Grunt. Shuffle. Flick, flick, flick. "Hnnnnh! ..." *FOOSH!!!* *KABLAM!!!* Screams, panic, general mayhem... Sycamore: "Oh God!!! I'm covered in Slang!"

03-20-2003, 08:59 PM	#93
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	There's a talk show in St. Louis--Frank O. Pinion during afternoon drive time on KTRS-AM...Goddamn...he's funny. Rather than drawing a salary from KTRS, he makes all his money off his sponsors. And he always works them into his show somehow. "So, I went to get a new chair for the living room this weekend." "Where did you get it, Frank?" "Well, I went to the place with the greatest stuff in town...Gringo Joe's." We could do shit like that. "So Syc, what did you do over the weekend?" "Well, the woman and I went out for cheesesteaks." "That sounds good? Where'd you git em from?" "The best damned cheesesteak joint in South Philadelphia...Philip's, at 23rd and Passyunk."

03-21-2003, 02:31 PM	#96
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Open an e-store to sell Officially Licensed Pimpin' Coats(TM) and Pimpin' Wireless(tm), of course!

03-21-2003, 10:05 PM	#103
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	See Slang...it's not that hard to make the green. Now then, I will take issue with the whole book thing. Wolf, we're talking ME here. Rank #70,000 my azz. Don't forget that while writing "new liberal" material (I like that...I'm going to start the New Liberal Party), I will also be selling books of my poetry. And do you think people actually READ those books they're buying right now? They sit on coffee tables to look good.

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