How to train a man

[staceyv]

This is the best I could do

[breakingnews]

I just hope the towel isn't white.

[dar512]

Originally Posted by staceyv

perth, that is an excellent idea. Really, really, really good. But I've finally gotten him to hang the damn thing up, and now, when he does, I feel like "aww, he thought of me this morning, he really cares about me" although, what he's probably thinking is "i don't want to hear her bitch, i'm gonna hang this up".
Yeah, the extra towel rod is a great idea.

Take it from a long married person. This is one of the major keys to a happy marriage. Think of another way. The idea is not to force the other person to do it your way. The idea is to make both of you happy in your relationship.

I was thinking about your desire to have Arsen teach you Russian. If you're thinking of Russian 'lessons', well if I were Arsen, that wouldn't sound like a lot of fun to me either.

Think of another way.

Incorporate it into your everyday routine.

Buy a Russian<>English dictionary and label the furniture and stuff in your house. Get a book on Russian to learn a few simple verbs. Learn to say things like "Your keys are on the dresser", and "Please stop flipping the channels" in Russian.

Make a Russian list of the foods in the pantry and fridge. Then learn a few more verbs and start using it on Arsen. Once you can say "Please pass the potatoes" in Russian, you can start trying to make dinner a Russian-only time.

Have him say the name of a body part and then kiss it. - Gotta be more fun than 'lessons'.

Play "I Spy" in the car - in Russian.

I'm sure you can think of lots more.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by staceyv

I usually hold big, long grudges, but I've decided not to let Undertoad's comments get to me, because they aren't true.

~snip~

One thing I really need to learn is how to not let people's comments get to me, especially when they aren't true, and to stop being so defensive, because as long as I know who I really am, it shouldn't matter what other people think. I'm working on it...

...not to let it get to you.....how long ago did he say that?

[Beestie]

The BBC has a nice language section. I found a one-pager on Russian phrases here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/languages/other.../russian.shtml.

I couldn't find the phrase "hang your fucking towell up before I hang you with it." but I'm sure you can peice it together

And a quick thought: letting people know that their no-offense-intended observations bother you is a very effective way to keep everyone at a safe distance.

[staceyv]

I am actually teaching myself russian. I don't learn very well from personal "lessons". I learn better on my own. I've been studying it for about a year now, and I can read stories in Russian and write sentences. I'm using a college textbook and I do all the grammar excercises in a little notebook. I also have a dictionary and a bunch of other tutorial books and cds. All I really want Arsen to do is just read about 5 pages and correct my mistakes so I can see where I messed up. It really only takes about 5 minutes. It's like you or I reading a short magazine article- it's a breeze for him. I spend at least 10 hours a week cooking and doing other household errands, so I think it's fair to ask him for 5 minutes a day! But I never asked him to teach me russian, I can do that myself.

LJ, yes, it has been a few months, but like I said- I hold really really long grudges. That one was simply long. I'm getting better!

And a quick thought: letting people know that their no-offense-intended observations bother you is a very effective way to keep everyone at a safe distance.

The people that give those types of biased observations are people who I would rather keep at a safe distance.

[dar512]

Originally Posted by staceyv

All I really want Arsen to do is just read about 5 pages and correct my mistakes so I can see where I messed up. It really only takes about 5 minutes. It's like you or I reading a short magazine article- it's a breeze for him. I spend at least 10 hours a week cooking and doing other household errands, so I think it's fair to ask him for 5 minutes a day! But I never asked him to teach me russian, I can do that myself.

Ah. Different issue then. Seems like a small request. When you say, "Honey would you check this for me?", what does he say?

[lookout123]

she doesn't know - he responds in russian.

[wolf]

yahb tvoyu mat.

although stacey probably knows that one already.

[staceyv]

something about your mother? I didn't get the "yahb".
When I ask him to look something over, he'll usually say :"later, right now I'm busy"
(busy reading movie reviews online!) or he'll be tired and say he'll do it tomorrow, or he'll say he's drunk, etc...He does do it about 80% of the time if I stand there and ask him to please look at it, BUT, if I leave it for him to do while I'm at work, no way. I have to be right there or he won't get around to it.

[wolf]

It means "fuck your mother." At least that's how I learned it anyway.

It's often used as an expression of wonderment and disbelief.

[Beestie]

When my wife and I were dating and for a while after we got married, I tried to learn her native language. But she wasn't really much help - not because she didn't want me to learn but more, I think, because its really boring to teach your spouse a language that you are fluent in.

With what I know now, I would try to learn it on your own. And use it more with his friends than with him. That'll get him more interested in talking to you in Russian.

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by staceyv

When I ask him to look something over, he'll usually say :"later, right now I'm busy"...
or he'll be tired and say he'll do it tomorrow, or he'll say he's drunk, etc...He does do it about 80% of the time if I stand there and ask him to please look at it, BUT, if I leave it for him to do while I'm at work, no way. I have to be right there or he won't get around to it.

Wow! Sounds just like my kid! (except he usually doesn't plead drunkenness right to my face--yet) Really! It's the same with him! Who needs a husband!

[mrnoodle]

Better yet, learn a third language that he doesn't know, and use THAT around the house.

It won't help you learn Russian, but at least he will share in your frustration.

[dar512]

Originally Posted by staceyv

When I ask him to look something over, he'll usually say :"later, right now I'm busy"
(busy reading movie reviews online!) or he'll be tired and say he'll do it tomorrow, or he'll say he's drunk, etc...He does do it about 80% of the time if I stand there and ask him to please look at it, BUT, if I leave it for him to do while I'm at work, no way. I have to be right there or he won't get around to it.

In order to make any progress, you'll have to figure out why he doesn't want to do this. It's boring? He doesn't want you to be able to read Russian? He's being obstinate because you and he are still playing the "Who's the boss?" game and "by golly, you can't make him".

Here's the other side. Why do you want to learn to read/write Russian? Is it worth making a fuss over? Would spoken Russian do as well? If it really only takes five minutes, why don't you sit with him and have him tell you what he thinks?