What's mildly amusing you today?

[Gravdigr]

[monster]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/e...s-201003302602

[xoxoxoBruce]

I would contribute to the Save the Fannydongball campaign.

[infinite monkey]

So, just snippets from some punk ass punk, maybe 17 years old, skinny deliverance type dude...who decided to sit with this chick in the chairs right next to where I'm set up at the library. He hasn't stopped talking for one second. Not one second. The girl intersperses with "huh. yeah. no. huh."

I want to say to the girl "are you really buying this bag of shit?"

I made sure my headphones were unplugged and my volume was just high enough on my laptop and I played the theme from Deliverance...made myself laugh, anyway, but this kid was oblivious.

Will he ever shut the fuck up? Will he fix his night vision glasses? Will he drink from the empty bottle of jagermeister that's in his house?

OH, they're leaving "you wanna come to my house?" "Uh, yeah." Still talking as they descend the staircase. So romantic.

Yeah, I been shot at and shot. I know what it's like. I'm not afraid to shoot someone. He's mad at me because I broke up with his stepdaughter. He wants to beat my ass. So I tell him if he shows up at my house he'll have a 22 in his face. I ain't afraid to shoot no one. I know what it's like

Do you know my sister?

I was beat with a belt. I was so high. The thing was, it was my belt. Yeah, I was so high, and I was laying like this.

Do you know my uncle?

Do you know Mike Hicks?

Hey, look at this thing on my neck. 'Cause my dad was in the military. Yeah.

I was pissed, man. I stood up, and psssshhh, I was like what. No you ain't. See, these hook together with this thing. So I put the dog tags on and he was cold. And walking home is gonna be real cold.

You ever been stabbed? I been stabbed right here.

Do you know John? Yeah, he drinks a lot. So he comes over and gets really drunk and smokes and he gets weird man, weird.

The cops came right into school and arrested me. Right in front of everybody. My girlfriend came up and slapped me, then she was hugging me saying she'd be waiting for me, which could mean she'd wait for me to get out of jail or meaning she'd be waiting for me to kick my ass or something.

Yeah. So, I forgot what I was gonna say about the bike. I was riding Neil around town on my bike, and I didn't have my night vision glasses but I used to have them and I went into a dark alley and like I had ten dollars for some spray paint and some dude said my bike was too bright...then he goes 'are those night vision goggles' and i was like 'yeah' and he wanted to try them so he put them on I shined a bright light in his face and now they don't work anymore...I can't see out of the middle of them. I got a pair from the military.

There was a possum, I knowed it was a possum 'cause they got that face!

[infinite monkey]

Is it a full moon? Now there's some guy on the public computers who apparently called a police officer in because I can hear the officer talking to him about his facebook page and asking "she didn't get into your account, right?" And explaining to the fella that he doesn't have a facebook page and doesn't want a facebook page (I like this officer!) But wtf? Is this guy reporting that someone hacked into his account or something?

The fun never ends in this podunk town.

[glatt]

Maybe he's mad that he keeps getting Farmville spam.

[infinite monkey]

Ha...from the local paper, police news:

CITIZEN ASSIST: In the realm of odd news, a complainant contacted Police to report another individual “violated Facebook Policy by removing him from a ‘group’ he created,” according to police reports. Police advised the complainant that “police do not enforce Facebook Policy" and was referred to Facebook.

[chrisinhouston]

Yesterday I foiled a scammer trying to rip me off! I had put some things up on Craigslist and my policy there is to always only accept cash and never ship items but meet face to face.

One of the items is a Canon EOS 1Ds MkII camera body. I don't use it much and am saving for other gear. It has a very low shot count which is a plus for an older camera. I routinely see these go for $800-1000 on Ebay but those ones have higher shot counts and aren't in as good a shape. And with Ebay you loose 10% if it sells. So I thought I would try it on the Houston Craigslist just to see if it got any interest and asked $1200.

Within 8 hours I get a text saying that the person is very interested. I respond that it is still available. About an hour later he responds that he can't come pick it up but would gladly pay me an additional $80 for shipping it. He plans to give it to his pastor's son as a gift!

Now I'm suspicious. Nice gift for the pastor's son indeed! I reply that his offer is appealing but I only take cash, how will he pay me? Meanwhile I Google his phone number and the first result has 2 people claiming this guy tried to scam them on Craigslist!

He responds that he will pay with Western Union which isn't secure at all. I declined and he reponded "it's just like cash!"

I wished him a nice day and never heard from him again

[xoxoxoBruce]

Aww, now the poor pastor's son won't get a Canon, you meany.

[monster]

That was very patient and polite of you

[glatt]

Amazon is amusing me today. Only amusing because I ordered earlier enough that I am still going to have the CDs by her birthday.

My 2 CDs were sent to someplace in Kentucky by mistake, so it looks like they fulfilled the order again and put them in a huge box this time so it wouldn't get lost.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Good you're not paying mileage.
I've noticed a lot of stuff this fall/winter came in boxes twice, or more, as big as necessary.

[BigV]

standard packaging, a'la shipping containers. It's just easier to manage a uniform box size, or at least a minimum number of sizes.

[Clodfobble]

I hadn't thought about it until now, but we had one Christmas present come twice as well. I'm just hanging onto it until the next birthday party Minifob gets invited to.

[monster]

Part of my job is making sure local products are labelled appropriately. i.e. with a great big price tag that says "Local". I find fun in saying "These are local tags for local people" even though no-one has a fucking clue what I am on about One day there will be another Brit working there who might get it, meanwhile, it does no harm