The 24 hour engagement.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

this is the LJ we know and love

lick it

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

this is the LJ we know <strike> and love</strike>

Fixed that for you.

[lumberjim]

i'M HOLDING MY BREATH AS I TYPE THE FOLLOWING:



"EAT A DICK, SIR!"

[BigV]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

i'M HOLDING MY BREATH AS I TYPE THE FOLLOWING:



"EAT A DICK, SIR!"

I know you well enough to recognize that is meant as a term of endearment, or an insult, or just the thing you say when you can't think of anything else to say.

I know I have not endeared myself to you. No love lost there. And your ability to insult me is on par with the neighbor's dog barking--a content-free annoyance.

Which leaves only silence-filling, last-word having reflex. I get it. You are saying the same nothing over and over and over again. All I'm asking is that you just say it silently, please. If necessary, sit on your hands.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by BigV

You are saying the same nothing over and over and over again.

I must admit that I'm curious as to what message or non-message you see me repeating, V? In your words, what is it that I'm saying?

[morethanpretty]

disenchanted-
I think you didn't do anything wrong on purpose. I agree with daff that you were probably getting mixed signals. Here's the thing tho, if your girl had agreed to go away for the weekend based on your promise of "no pressure," then she expected it to be "no pressure." When she told you "surprise me" she obviously didn't mean for you to do so that particular weekend. Or at least that seems obvious to me. You said the week leading up to the weekend was great, ya'll were having a marvelous time with each other. Probably due to the fact that you had promised that there would be "no pressure" that weekend. She felt secure that she wouldn't have to be answering such a heavy question and that allowed ya'll to relax and get along better. I'm saying all of this because although I know you listened to your heart, I don't believe you were truly listening to her. "Surprise me" does not mean "surprise me on the weekend we've already decided will not be the weekend."
If you do get back with her, leave all this behind you. When ya'll talk it out, take the blame. That might seem hard, because you seem to want to find fault with what she said. Its not what she said, but how you interpreted what she said. So don't bring it up. Say you made a mistake, you misunderstood and that you will try better to understand her wants. I don't think you have a chance to truly mend things otherwise.
I'm going off of what I know as a woman, and how I would feel about the situation. I know that I would kick you out the door so fast if you started blaming me.

[lumberjim]

is it this?

[Undertoad]

present it.

[lumberjim]

[lumberjim]

are you saying you don't love me?

ow: my feelings.

[Pico and ME]

Actually, here I thought you were just getting defensive after Ali's post...thats why I sugged letting it go. (When she said that no one else here was actually accusing him of betrayal).

But otherwise, in some other threads...yes. Im sure its just your style...you are obviously an intelligent and strong-willed individual who wont take any guff from anyone.

Originally Posted by Pico and ME

Actually, here I thought you were just getting defensive after Ali's post...thats why I sugged letting it go. (When she said that no one else here was actually accusing him of betrayal).

But otherwise, in some other threads...yes. Im sure its just your style...you are obviously an intelligent and strong-willed individual who wont take any guff from anyone.

Oh. I was trying to clarify what I DID mean. Because if someone thinks I've accused them of something, and I wasn't intending to, I usually try to clarify my intentions, in the hope that they'll understand and not go on carrying the idea that I was accusing them.

It seems like maybe my communication style and tendency to try to clarify when I think I've miscommunicated are not typical here? But I would rather reiterate in an attempt to further communication than let a misunderstanding rest.

[Aliantha]

Originally Posted by Tiki

It seems like maybe my communication style and tendency to try to clarify when I think I've miscommunicated are not typical here? But I would rather reiterate in an attempt to further communication than let a misunderstanding rest.

I used to do a lot of that myself, and honestly, all it did was annoy people. The difference with this forum is that most people are fairly open minded and willing to consider almost any point someone makes, but there's no way everyone is going to agree with anything anyone says here. There's just too many of us looking in from different angles. Just to reitterate (j/k), that's what I mean when I say to say your bit then let someone else have a go. It's interesting to watch what might spin off sometimes.

It's not like I can stop anyone else from having a go.

I'm not trying to please everyone here, and if I think someone has not understood me, I'm not going to stop explaining to them just because some other person I'm not even talking to might be tired of reading my explanation.

[disenchanted]

tiki: By all means, if I've got it wrong, keep explaining.

But my current take on your viewpoint is "Admit it, you're a horrible deceitful liar. And even if you didn't think you were being a horrible deceitful liar, just admit that you're a horrible deceitful liar. Once you admit this, then you will know that you are a horrible deceitful liar and I will feel better even if you don't."

I may have gotten that wrong, but it's really coming across like your angle is that I was consciously being deceptive, even if I didn't realize I was doing it (which might contradict "consciously"), so I'm supposed to find something meaningful in admitting that I'm whatever you think I am.

Does that about sum it up?