What Do You Have Mixed Feelings About Today?

[Aliantha]

Originally Posted by BigV

all is well. yay.

Ali--I meant "exposed" to such crap. They don't have to see the impact to feel an impact, if you see what I mean. You haven't been there, (I guess) but you've heard of it, they can hear of it too. Regardless, this kind of behavior is wrong, and it's sad and aggravating and harmful to the kids as well. Parents are models.

Well, I have been there V. That's one of the reasons why I left their father.

I just thought he might have changed by now. Learned his lesson. You know, that thing smart people do when their life keeps going to shit?

I have protected them from it all their lives. He's been like this with every woman he's been with. He's even had a couple of DVO's (domestic violence orders) against him in the past.

So, I'm glad he's not having them this Christmas. Particularly now I know that his wife is definitely leaving him soon. I spoke to her again last night and she's told her mother everything and has been encouraged to go back home to Samoa so the family can look after her and the baby. I think that's the best idea of all. He still has no idea any of this is going on, which is probably for the best.

The kids have known about his violence since they were very small. Unfortunately when someone behaves that way, kids know because no matter how hard you try, that person will always lose it when you think everything is fine. Fortunately he's never physically abused them, but they are both afraid of his bullying.

[Trilby]

bigV - 'yay' as in they/you found the possibly missing person?

ali - HOW do you cook and drink? if I did that my cakes would come out looking really...horrible - they might even end up on the floor.

I have mixed feelings about my sinus cavities.
I know I need them to breathe - it's just that they are a poor design. Where can I file suit against the manufactuer?

[footfootfoot]

That's the subtle difference between "cooking and drinking" and "drinking and cooking"

[BigV]

Yep Bri, my missing person is safe and sound. Happy me.

[ZenGum]

They fear their own father's bullying? That is damage enough. Good thing they're not going.

If he mistreats his Samoan wife ... he'd better watch his back. Samoans have big families and bigger shoulders.

[BigV]

I'm sorry you and your boys had to go through that shit. There's lemonade and silver linings and all that happy crap, whatever. That's just shitty though. I'm glad you sound so good, and I've always smiled to hear the reports of your sons' developments and adventures. Good for them and good on you.

[Aliantha]

Originally Posted by ZenGum

They fear their own father's bullying? That is damage enough. Good thing they're not going.

If he mistreats his Samoan wife ... he'd better watch his back. Samoans have big families and bigger shoulders.

Well Kal is Samoan too of course, but I don't think his family will really have anything much to do with any fall out, mostly because he's always been the black sheep. God the stories I could tell you about his family. lol Anyway, it was a good day when I left and took my boys with me, and we're lucky enough to have a good husband and father figure in Dazza. Can't beat the academics hey Zen?

Originally Posted by BigV

I'm sorry you and your boys had to go through that shit. There's lemonade and silver linings and all that happy crap, whatever. That's just shitty though. I'm glad you sound so good, and I've always smiled to hear the reports of your sons' developments and adventures. Good for them and good on you.

We're lucky V. I think we got out just in time and life is pretty good for us now. Honestly, I feel sorry for Kal, I really do. I see a man in his 50's with no one who loves him enough to want to be with him anymore. That's a very sad life to be living. I just wish he could learn, because he's missing out on a couple of pretty awesome sons.

[classicman]

His choices, his loss, Dazza's and their gain.

[infinite monkey]

I got a text from the homeless guy today. He's living in another state now. He sent me a picture from his phone that he took of Gaines. It made me cry. His silvery bluish double coat fur...so pretty. He also said I could claim him on my taxes this year (he lived here for what, half of last year? It's legal) and if I got money back I keep half and send him half. I don't mind doing that...but I don't know if I'll get much back anyway...the making work pay credit saved my butt and it's gone.

He went on to tell me his sis has cancer. She still lives here. Fuck cancer. He said life is short and can suck (and really, his family has been through hell and back) and that I did a lot for him, and he has no ill feelings.

I have no ill feelings either. I never could hold a grudge and don't like harboring old resentments. I can't forget what he put me through on one hand, but on the other it was nice to hear, for once, that he recognizes what I did for him.

But, he's a charmer, and when he's nice like that it's very easy for me to forget that it was pure hell for a while, him being here.

Still, he's thousands of miles away and can't hurt me now. I mean, I let it go on, being too nice and too wimpy...and he took excellent advantage of that.

Just a very odd moment in time.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

He also said I could claim him on my taxes this year (he lived here for what, half of last year? It's legal) and if I got money back I keep half and send him half. I don't mind doing that...but I don't know if I'll get much back anyway...the making work pay credit saved my butt and it's gone.

Dude, that's bullshit. You can claim him as a dependent because he was a fucking dependent, not because he graciously allows you to claim him. If he files for himself, and you file for him as a dependent, and one of you ever gets audited, they can look into the reality of the situation... which is that he lived with you more than half the year and he had no job and you weren't married. Thus, he was a dependent, and they will come down on his ass for his illegal tax return.

Besides that, a dependent will get you a bigger refund, it's true, but it's not going to double it. Don't let this asshole take half your money and think he's doing you a favor! Seriously, I want to go kick him in the cunt right now, especially for sending you a picture of your cat just to make you more vulnerable before asking for your money. And you can tell him I said that.

[infinite monkey]

Ugh. Yeah, I know. I know you're right.

I did file him as dependent last year...but not the year before because his sister claimed him. Even though he was living here and, as you say, unemployed. And I let that happen too. I think about other ways I was scammed...crap.

And I think I needed to hear it from someone else, I guess that's why I posted it in the 'mixed feelings' thread.

Thanks. I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me that. I also loved the kick him in the cunt part.

Sometimes I wonder if I am susceptible to absolutely every scammer on earth. I guess that's why I have trouble with close relationships: I don't trust myself to know better. I'm an educated intelligent person. I'm all bravado and chutzpah...except not.

Clod, really, thank you. You can't know what you just did for me.

[monster]

Godfobble.

[monster]

I was thinking he meant half the extra you got for claiming him, but he didn't did he?

[infinite monkey]

Originally Posted by monster

Godfobble.

I know, right? No wonder I'm jealous of her.

Originally Posted by monster

I was thinking he meant half the extra you got for claiming him, but he didn't did he?

In retrospect, no. Another thing, how does he know when I'm in a good mood? I mean, there couldn't have been a better time lately to "approach" me. Puh. What's that called? When you just fall into shit and come out smelling like roses?

Shithead, that's the word I'm looking for.

[glatt]

You're good to be rid of him.