an e-ligion is born

[lumberjim]

In the beginning there was the bbs.

And the cellar was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of UT moved upon the face of the internet.

And UT said, Let there be vbulletin: and there was vbulletin

And UT saw the vbulletin, that it was good: and UT divided the vbulletin from the bbs.

And UT said, Let there be forums in the midst of the threads, and let it divide the threads from the threads.

And UT made the forums, and divided the threads which were under the forums from the threads which were above the forums: and it was so.

And UT said, Let the threads bring forth posts, the trolling, and the flame wars yielding flame wars after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the threads: and it was so.

And the threads brought forth posts, the trolling, and the flame wars yielding flame wars after his kind, whose seed is in itself, after his kind : and UT saw that it was good

And UTsaid, Let us make dwellars in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the user titles, quote lines, and starting of threads, and over all the quotes, and over every reply that creepeth upon the cellar.

And UT blessed them, and UT said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the cellar, and subdue it: and have dominion over the user titles, quote lines, and starting of threads, and over all the quotes, and over every reply that creepeth upon the cellar. and UT saw that it was good

And UT saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day

And on the seventh day UT ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

the Old Testament

The New Testament

And UT did hand down to the dwellars the Three Commandments:

1. Thou Shalt Not use the system to break the law.
2. Thou Shalt Not try to break the system.
3. Thou Shalt Not be 'intolerably irritating'.

And they were good.

And The Apostles who post in this, the new testament of the cellar e-ligion thread have laid down these 7 deadly sins.

spamming

trolling

stating your opinion as fact

lying

using personal information against another dwellar

being an attention whore

being a drama queen

This e-ligion accepts members of all races, religions, nationalities, and orientations. It requires no faith, promises no reward, and asks no pennance or worship.

halleluiah!

[SteveDallas]

Well that's fine if you want to buy that, but I personally take the agnostic position. UT might exist, but I doubt it, and we can't prove it either way.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Possibly in the future, UT will have to sacrifice a begotten sonofabitch, to atone for the sins of posters.

[smoothmoniker]

you vBulletin-ites are all heretics. The only true "cellar-ites" are the ones still using the BBS.

The mighty UT is never-changing, therefore his works can never change. ipso fact, en arche, to wit, ad infinitum, insert latin phrase here, the original incarnation of his will is the only true and pure way to exchange opinion.

Death to the Heretics!

-sm

[SteveDallas]

Jeez, we'd better not mention Orthodox Scott-ism.

Bruce, I was thinking UT could re-enact the story of Job. Lumberjob, errrr, lumberjim, could be put upon by various trials, while the rest of us sit around and make fun of him.

Whaddaya think, sirs?

[Elspode]

I know you'll all think me strange, but I pursue a more ancient brand of religion.

I'm an Underwoodian, one who uses a non-electric mechanical device to make inscriptions upon crude cellulose sheets. When the writings are thus completed, minions take them from a place on my temple and they are magickally whisked across the lands and seas, to arrive at still another box on a far-away temple.

We hold weekly services at an office supply store.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally posted by Elspode
I know you'll all think me strange, but I pursue a more ancient brand of religion.

I'm an Underwoodian, one who uses a non-electric mechanical device to make inscriptions upon crude cellulose sheets. When the writings are thus completed, minions take them from a place on my temple and they are magickally whisked across the lands and seas, to arrive at still another box on a far-away temple.

We hold weekly services at an office supply store.

Well then, we'll have to stamp that out.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally posted by SteveDallas
Jeez, we'd better not mention Orthodox Scott-ism.

Bruce, I was thinking UT could re-enact the story of Job. Lumberjob, errrr, lumberjim, could be put upon by various trials, while the rest of us sit around and make fun of him.

Whaddaya think, sirs?

It appears that is the rest of us that suffer the trials.

[smoothmoniker]

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
Well then, we'll have to stamp that out.

Oh, hot damn

bruce, that is just the most perfectest quick drawn I've ever seen.

-sm

[zippyt]

But LJ you didn't offer any hooded robes in the t-shirt sale , hell not even any hooded sweat shirts and uniform Nike shooes !!!!


[men in black 2]
ALL HAIL UT !!!!!!!!



Oh UT can you see , by the dawns early post ,,,,,,,

[/men in black 2]

[lumberjim]

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
Possibly in the future, UT will have to sacrifice a begotten sonofabitch, to atone for the sins of posters.

and don;t forget the fallen angel, the unnamed. And he shall be called "dave" by men. And dave doth lyeth in the dark, having been cast out from the cellar. And Dave doth rule the abyss.

[Undertoad]

Normally I would be dead against this sort of thing but the seven deadly sins need to be codified and saved somewhere.

spamming
trolling
stating your opinion as fact
lying
using personal information against another dwellar
being an attention whore
being a drama queen

This is an awesome list and I think I will start a "guidelines" page soon to replace the old "what it is" page.

[xoxoxoBruce]

“Spamming” and “Using personal information against another dweller” are detectable (and detestable) and can be enforced.
“Trolling, Drama queen & Attention whore” are subjective calls, especially attention whore.
“Stating your opinion as fact” is in almost every post unless it’s accompanied by links to credible sources and not blogs because they’re just other peoples opinions no matter how smart or well informed they are.
“Lying” is tough to prove and often subjective (lying/misleading), another judgement call.
So, while I agree the list is desirable, enforcement is still as it’s always been, UT’s judgement and perogative. Judge, Jury and Executioner.

[lumberjim]

JUDGEMENT IS MINE SAYETH THE TOAD.

that's why they're sins, not commandments. your transgressions are between you and your maker.



i definatley will have some accounting to do for my own "attention whore" sin of choice.

not like i gave this a lot of thought... i was just funnin the religious.

[smoothmoniker]

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
“Spamming” and “Using personal information against another dweller” are detectable (and detestable) and can be enforced.
“Trolling, Drama queen & Attention whore” are subjective calls, especially attention whore.
“Stating your opinion as fact” is in almost every post unless it’s accompanied by links to credible sources and not blogs because they’re just other peoples opinions no matter how smart or well informed they are.
“Lying” is tough to prove and often subjective (lying/misleading), another judgement call.
So, while I agree the list is desirable, enforcement is still as it’s always been, UT’s judgement and perogative. Judge, Jury and Executioner.

That's why it's perfect. Everybody's fairly cool on the "no killing, no adultry" stuff, but the "no coveting, no bearing false witness" stuff gets pretty well steamrolled.

I love it.

-sm