F***edup family - Page 2

jojomonkeygirl · 06-18-2004, 06:12 AM

I agree that it is totally fucked up. She'll never help herself as long as she has someone willing to do things for her. When I dropped out of high school so I could party all night and sleep all day my mom told me to have a job Monday morning or have my ass on the school bus. I got a job and a GED. When I wanted to move back home she made me sleep in the garage and I had to pee in a coffee can if she had company(so I wouldn't disturb them by going in and out of the house from the garage). Once again I got a job and got the hell out of there. It's called Tough Love and it works. It may take years to realize that it worked but it's worth it. Besides, you have your own life, and life is short. You've done more that most people would do. Feel good about that. You are not the failure, she is.

jaguar · 06-18-2004, 06:17 AM

It is fucked up but you're doing the right thing, you've done all you can, let her stand or fall on her own, she's more than earnt that. There's too much danger of her dragging you down with her for starters.

Arliquin · 06-18-2004, 09:30 PM

You seem to have either your head or heart in the right place, worth more than any advice I could give.

blue · 06-18-2004, 10:07 PM

Zippy man where do I start? It's obviously a no win situation for you. I'd do my best for the kids as you can do, seems that isn't real promising either but give your best effort.

That said, guilt is like fucking battery acid. Step away from it...take care of yourself and those close to you first. Get your own shit togethor, you can solve everyone elses problems later.

Call in the pros, call the cops, get the kids in a steady environment.

wolf · 06-18-2004, 10:46 PM

You withstood far more than I would have, that's for sure ...

Someone who has a lot of addicitons problems comes to a point where they have to make a decision ... what's more important, their life and their children's lives, or their addiction. In addition to whatever substances she may use, this woman (I think "your sister" is too familiar and pleasant a term) has an addition to stupidity.

I see that a lot.

I think that by backing away you're doing the best thing that you can do right now.

Since you've neither moved nor changed your phone number, expect her to approach you demanding rescuing again.

It's going to be hard not to.

zippyt · 06-18-2004, 11:10 PM

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement every body .

Wolf , i have been worried about her and or the boys just showing up one day , I don't really know what i would do . Probobley just keep driveing and call the cops . But i worry most about the resentment shown twords my wife , she is a strong lady and can take care of her self , but DAMN IT thats my job , she shouldn't HAVE to worry .

plthijinx · 06-18-2004, 11:45 PM

damn dude. i just don't know what to say. stay strong brother!

wolf · 06-19-2004, 01:10 AM

Just be ready for the inevitable day when she's blamed everyone else and decides her problems are your fault.

zippyt · 06-19-2004, 01:40 AM

Just be ready for the inevitable day when she's blamed everyone else and decides her problems are your fault.

No she blames every thing on my mom ( she died in 96 ) her drug addiction , the mess her life is , etc,,,,, i know you have heard it befor ,
she tries to pull a guilt trip on me saying " but what about your nepheus ????" It has worked in the past , she just wants some time off from them . I worry that one day she won't be home( or in state , or even alive ) when i bring the boys back from a camping trip . Her boys are just like her , all ways trying to find a scam to get over , one way or the other , they can't help it , its the way they were raised .
So this year Uncle Chris is being an asshole . Sorry

xoxoxoBruce · 06-19-2004, 04:26 AM

Quote:

But i worry most about the resentment shown twords my wife , she is a strong lady and can take care of her self , but DAMN IT thats my job , she shouldn't HAVE to worry .

Sure, but she's also a decent person, so she naturally cares, just like you do. She's been through it from the git go with you and knows the whole story, so your worries are her worries. That's what makes the marriage strong.
Nobody can be sure they're doing the right thing all the time, only the best they can. You and Mrs Zip are certainly doing the best you can.

zippyt · 06-19-2004, 11:37 PM

Sure, but she's also a decent person, so she naturally cares, One of the MANY reasons i married her !!!

your worries are her worries. That's what makes the marriage strong.

Yeppers , we have Both been thru a lot in the 15 years we have been married .

Bruce , Thanks for these kind words of encourgement , they mean a LOT !!!

elSicomoro · 06-20-2004, 12:41 AM

My stepsister is an alcoholic and a junkie. She set herself on fire 5 years ago...we still don't know why. My parents did all they could to help her out (including helping care for her 6-year old daughter), but in the end, she bit the hand that fed her. My parents finally had enough of it a year ago...her daughter comes over to visit occasionally, but that's it.

It's been really hard on them, particularly my stepdad. He tried to be there for them while they were growing up, but his ex-wife is a fucking nutjob. Now, my stepsisters are 35 and 32, high school dropouts, alcoholics and general failures.

For a short time in 1982, both of them lived with us...they were 13 and 10 at the time. Both decided they didn't like the rules established by my 'rents, and went back to live with their mother within a year.

And how did my brother and I turn out? I'm 28, a college graduate, making as much money at 28 as my stepdad does at 59. My brother is 21 and a licensed EMT.

You did the best you could, Zip...and I think you made the right decision.

Good luck. Stay strong. Be positive.

06-18-2004, 06:17 AM	#17
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	It is fucked up but you're doing the right thing, you've done all you can, let her stand or fall on her own, she's more than earnt that. There's too much danger of her dragging you down with her for starters. __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

06-18-2004, 10:07 PM	#19
blue Operations Operative Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Northern WI Posts: 739	Zippy man where do I start? It's obviously a no win situation for you. I'd do my best for the kids as you can do, seems that isn't real promising either but give your best effort. That said, guilt is like fucking battery acid. Step away from it...take care of yourself and those close to you first. Get your own shit togethor, you can solve everyone elses problems later. Call in the pros, call the cops, get the kids in a steady environment. __________________ If you spot a tornado, always remember to point at it, yell "tornado!", and run like hell.

06-18-2004, 10:46 PM	#20
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	You withstood far more than I would have, that's for sure ... Someone who has a lot of addicitons problems comes to a point where they have to make a decision ... what's more important, their life and their children's lives, or their addiction. In addition to whatever substances she may use, this woman (I think "your sister" is too familiar and pleasant a term) has an addition to stupidity. I see that a lot. I think that by backing away you're doing the best thing that you can do right now. Since you've neither moved nor changed your phone number, expect her to approach you demanding rescuing again. It's going to be hard not to. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

06-18-2004, 11:10 PM	#21
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Thanks for the kind words of encouragement every body . Wolf , i have been worried about her and or the boys just showing up one day , I don't really know what i would do . Probobley just keep driveing and call the cops . But i worry most about the resentment shown twords my wife , she is a strong lady and can take care of her self , but DAMN IT thats my job , she shouldn't HAVE to worry . __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

06-18-2004, 11:45 PM	#22
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	damn dude. i just don't know what to say. stay strong brother! __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

06-18-2004, 06:12 AM	#16
jojomonkeygirl Vivacious Vivisectionist Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: NC Posts: 36	I agree that it is totally fucked up. She'll never help herself as long as she has someone willing to do things for her. When I dropped out of high school so I could party all night and sleep all day my mom told me to have a job Monday morning or have my ass on the school bus. I got a job and a GED. When I wanted to move back home she made me sleep in the garage and I had to pee in a coffee can if she had company(so I wouldn't disturb them by going in and out of the house from the garage). Once again I got a job and got the hell out of there. It's called Tough Love and it works. It may take years to realize that it worked but it's worth it. Besides, you have your own life, and life is short. You've done more that most people would do. Feel good about that. You are not the failure, she is.

06-18-2004, 09:30 PM	#18
Arliquin Jotter of Notes Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 11	You seem to have either your head or heart in the right place, worth more than any advice I could give.

06-19-2004, 01:10 AM	#23
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Just be ready for the inevitable day when she's blamed everyone else and decides her problems are your fault. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

06-19-2004, 01:40 AM	#24
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Just be ready for the inevitable day when she's blamed everyone else and decides her problems are your fault. No she blames every thing on my mom ( she died in 96 ) her drug addiction , the mess her life is , etc,,,,, i know you have heard it befor , she tries to pull a guilt trip on me saying " but what about your nepheus ????" It has worked in the past , she just wants some time off from them . I worry that one day she won't be home( or in state , or even alive ) when i bring the boys back from a camping trip . Her boys are just like her , all ways trying to find a scam to get over , one way or the other , they can't help it , its the way they were raised . So this year Uncle Chris is being an asshole . Sorry __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

06-19-2004, 11:37 PM	#26
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Sure, but she's also a decent person, so she naturally cares, One of the MANY reasons i married her !!! your worries are her worries. That's what makes the marriage strong. Yeppers , we have Both been thru a lot in the 15 years we have been married . Bruce , Thanks for these kind words of encourgement , they mean a LOT !!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

06-20-2004, 12:41 AM	#27
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	My stepsister is an alcoholic and a junkie. She set herself on fire 5 years ago...we still don't know why. My parents did all they could to help her out (including helping care for her 6-year old daughter), but in the end, she bit the hand that fed her. My parents finally had enough of it a year ago...her daughter comes over to visit occasionally, but that's it. It's been really hard on them, particularly my stepdad. He tried to be there for them while they were growing up, but his ex-wife is a fucking nutjob. Now, my stepsisters are 35 and 32, high school dropouts, alcoholics and general failures. For a short time in 1982, both of them lived with us...they were 13 and 10 at the time. Both decided they didn't like the rules established by my 'rents, and went back to live with their mother within a year. And how did my brother and I turn out? I'm 28, a college graduate, making as much money at 28 as my stepdad does at 59. My brother is 21 and a licensed EMT. You did the best you could, Zip...and I think you made the right decision. Good luck. Stay strong. Be positive. Last edited by elSicomoro; 06-20-2004 at 12:45 AM.

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