Kids and the Internet - Page 10

duck_duck · 04-27-2007, 04:19 PM

My mother and I are now living with my aunty and uncle for a while and my uncle has put some internet restrictions on me. He put something on my computer that slows browsing down. I'm not sure what it does but it's annoying. He also told me to stay off of myspace which I never use anyways. But worst of all he removed my emule and utorrent.

SadistSecret · 04-27-2007, 10:51 PM

You also can't be a complete dictator and still be an effective parent.

TheMercenary · 04-27-2007, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SadistSecret

You also can't be a complete dictator and still be an effective parent.

Absolutely agree. Who says anyone is being a complete dictator? Not me...

SadistSecret · 04-30-2007, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Absolutely agree. Who says anyone is being a complete dictator? Not me...

Spying on your children's internet usage is like being a dictator...

I still ponder if you've ever read 1984...

TheMercenary · 05-01-2007, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SadistSecret

Spying on your children's internet usage is like being a dictator...

I still ponder if you've ever read 1984...

Bull shit. It is being a responsible parent.

What person of my age has not read it?

duck_duck · 04-30-2007, 10:28 AM

I\'m beginning to wonder if my uncle spies on me as paranoid as he is. lol

SadistSecret · 05-01-2007, 02:55 PM

I'm not sure, but spying on them and responsibility are two different things. If your logs haven't gotten anything bad, turn them off for a while, until they do something untrustworthy on the internet like looking up porn. Then you have a real reason to actually monitor their internet usage. Until then, you don't need to hide cameras and log their internet activity. (I don't think you'd really hide a camera, but you know what I mean.)

Just a thought from someone who's not had any children myself, but has been raising evenyone else's for the past 8 years. If other people trust me with their children, then my theories on parenting should carry some merit.

TheMercenary · 05-01-2007, 10:23 PM

Ok, let just throw this out here...

Quote:

Originally Posted by SadistSecret

I'm not sure, but spying on them and responsibility are two different things. If your logs haven't gotten anything bad, turn them off for a while, until they do something untrustworthy on the internet like looking up porn.

1) How do any of you judgemental fuckers know that something has not happened?????? Where in any post did I ever say that something did or did not happen???? Instead all of you fucks ASSumed that all was cool and that I am just a spying parent.... 2) Porn is not an issue. Ask IB, he thinks it is ok to look at porn and his parents not to know... don't ask me about porn, I don't really have an issue with it, but somehow or another I bet IB's parents may have an issue with the porn he is looking at.

Quote:

Then you have a real reason to actually monitor their internet usage. Until then, you don't need to hide cameras and log their internet activity. (I don't think you'd really hide a camera, but you know what I mean.)

See the first part....

Quote:

Just a thought from someone who's not had any children myself, but has been raising evenyone else's for the past 8 years. If other people trust me with their children, then my theories on parenting should carry some merit.

Just for the record, they don't...

Hime · 05-02-2007, 02:24 PM

Personal experience:

My parents let my twin brother and I use the internet with supervision for educational sites, games and school research when we were pretty little (maybe 6 or 7). I didn't have much interest in browsing for fun until I was 12 or 13, when my friends started using instant messenger and posting their own homepages and online journals. I have always been very close to my mom, and didn't have anything to hide (all I was posting were stories and poems I'd written, drawings, fangirl raving about my favorite authors, etc), so when she asked me about what I did online (which I remember her asking regularly) I showed her my page and told her the truth about what I was up to -- updating my page, chatting on IM with my friends, reading their pages and journals, and sometimes looking up things that interested me like fantasy writers or world music (I was a big nerd). I think my dad found porn sites in the history when my brother and I were 14 or so, though, because he started snooping on us openly. A couple of times he and mom confronted my brother about the porn, but he always got defensive and said that he clicked on it by accident or something, so they never really got anywhere.

The thing that really bothered me was that my dad would read our friends' journals and make jokes and comments about them based on what they wrote -- sometimes when they talked about sex and drugs (my best friend's cousin was in college and wrote about her adventures a lot), sometimes just because they were goofy and used a lot of silly memes and in-jokes. That felt like an invasion of privacy to me -- not because he was reading what they put online, but because he wanted to judge our friends based on internet posts taken out of context rather than on what they were like in person and what we said about them.

So, I think that it's good for parents to keep an eye out and ask a lot of questions to make sure that kids aren't being exposed to dangers BECAUSE of the internet (like hardcore porn, creepy adults who pretend to be 13, stalkers, etc) but not so good for parents to use the internet as a tool to find out what their kids are doing in real life. When my dad decided to do that, it made me feel like he didn't want to hear what I had to say, because he'd second-guess me with what he'd read online. And I think that the healthiest thing is for kids to want to talk to their parents if something is wrong or sketchy, not for parents to have to check with their own sources.

Of course, if the kid has real behavior problems that's a different story. If you know that your teen has a history of seeking out dangerous activities and people, monitoring his web histories could help keep him safe.

TheMercenary · 05-03-2007, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hime

If you know that your teen has a history of seeking out dangerous activities and people, monitoring his web histories could help keep him safe.

I agree. Quite effective. No real behaivor problems per se, more like bad decision making.

Aliantha · 05-01-2007, 10:44 PM

Well if something has happened and you'd thought to mention it, maybe that would have helped us understand why your attitude seems to be so over the top?

TheMercenary · 05-01-2007, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Well if something has happened and you'd thought to mention it, maybe that would have helped us understand why your attitude seems to be so over the top?

Given the tone of your attitude toward me I don't think I need to share anything of a personal nature with you. You are a judgemental bitch.

Aliantha · 05-01-2007, 10:45 PM

Of course, you don't have to tell us anything. Just don't call us fuckers for responding to half truths in a way you find offensive.

TheMercenary · 05-01-2007, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Of course, you don't have to tell us anything. Just don't call us fuckers for responding to half truths in a way you find offensive.

And of course you can make judgements and second guess other parents till your face turns blue because you are so much better... good points.

Aliantha · 05-01-2007, 11:04 PM

You know, you keep getting chances around here and you just keep proving that you're just not a nice person.

I really feel sorry for you. You need help.

I did not say one thing in my previous two posts which required such a retort.

04-27-2007, 04:19 PM	#1
duck_duck Soul Duck Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: over here Posts: 485	My mother and I are now living with my aunty and uncle for a while and my uncle has put some internet restrictions on me. He put something on my computer that slows browsing down. I'm not sure what it does but it's annoying. He also told me to stay off of myspace which I never use anyways. But worst of all he removed my emule and utorrent. __________________ Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

04-27-2007, 10:51 PM	#2
SadistSecret Even If you choose to love me, I will always choose to fall. Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Des Moines. Posts: 139	You also can't be a complete dictator and still be an effective parent. __________________ "Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!!

04-30-2007, 10:28 AM	#6
duck_duck Soul Duck Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: over here Posts: 485	I\'m beginning to wonder if my uncle spies on me as paranoid as he is. lol __________________ Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

05-01-2007, 02:55 PM	#7
SadistSecret Even If you choose to love me, I will always choose to fall. Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Des Moines. Posts: 139	I'm not sure, but spying on them and responsibility are two different things. If your logs haven't gotten anything bad, turn them off for a while, until they do something untrustworthy on the internet like looking up porn. Then you have a real reason to actually monitor their internet usage. Until then, you don't need to hide cameras and log their internet activity. (I don't think you'd really hide a camera, but you know what I mean.) Just a thought from someone who's not had any children myself, but has been raising evenyone else's for the past 8 years. If other people trust me with their children, then my theories on parenting should carry some merit. __________________ "Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!!

05-01-2007, 10:44 PM	#11
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Well if something has happened and you'd thought to mention it, maybe that would have helped us understand why your attitude seems to be so over the top? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-02-2007, 02:24 PM	#9
Hime Extraordinary Machine Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Outside of Washington, DC Posts: 307	Personal experience: My parents let my twin brother and I use the internet with supervision for educational sites, games and school research when we were pretty little (maybe 6 or 7). I didn't have much interest in browsing for fun until I was 12 or 13, when my friends started using instant messenger and posting their own homepages and online journals. I have always been very close to my mom, and didn't have anything to hide (all I was posting were stories and poems I'd written, drawings, fangirl raving about my favorite authors, etc), so when she asked me about what I did online (which I remember her asking regularly) I showed her my page and told her the truth about what I was up to -- updating my page, chatting on IM with my friends, reading their pages and journals, and sometimes looking up things that interested me like fantasy writers or world music (I was a big nerd). I think my dad found porn sites in the history when my brother and I were 14 or so, though, because he started snooping on us openly. A couple of times he and mom confronted my brother about the porn, but he always got defensive and said that he clicked on it by accident or something, so they never really got anywhere. The thing that really bothered me was that my dad would read our friends' journals and make jokes and comments about them based on what they wrote -- sometimes when they talked about sex and drugs (my best friend's cousin was in college and wrote about her adventures a lot), sometimes just because they were goofy and used a lot of silly memes and in-jokes. That felt like an invasion of privacy to me -- not because he was reading what they put online, but because he wanted to judge our friends based on internet posts taken out of context rather than on what they were like in person and what we said about them. So, I think that it's good for parents to keep an eye out and ask a lot of questions to make sure that kids aren't being exposed to dangers BECAUSE of the internet (like hardcore porn, creepy adults who pretend to be 13, stalkers, etc) but not so good for parents to use the internet as a tool to find out what their kids are doing in real life. When my dad decided to do that, it made me feel like he didn't want to hear what I had to say, because he'd second-guess me with what he'd read online. And I think that the healthiest thing is for kids to want to talk to their parents if something is wrong or sketchy, not for parents to have to check with their own sources. Of course, if the kid has real behavior problems that's a different story. If you know that your teen has a history of seeking out dangerous activities and people, monitoring his web histories could help keep him safe.

05-01-2007, 10:45 PM	#13
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Of course, you don't have to tell us anything. Just don't call us fuckers for responding to half truths in a way you find offensive. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-01-2007, 11:04 PM	#15
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	You know, you keep getting chances around here and you just keep proving that you're just not a nice person. I really feel sorry for you. You need help. I did not say one thing in my previous two posts which required such a retort. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

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