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Old 10-13-2008, 05:14 PM   #46
Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
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Originally Posted by spudcon View Post
Squirrels all have a death by electrocution wish. They are a problem for power companies because the break into substations and short them out with their stupid little bodies. The squirrel prophet tells them all if they die this way, there will be 72 nuts waiting for them in heaven.
naw... they have an overpowering urge to keep their teeth from attacking themselves, and grind them down continuousl in self defense.

A squirrels teeth grow continuously. Their incisor's will grow six inches per year, but stay short due to the constant wear they receive.
Also a very stable genius.
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Old 10-13-2008, 05:45 PM   #47
Multiorgasmic and wrapped in plastic
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just like every other rodent I know of... -shudder-
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Old 10-13-2008, 06:51 PM   #48
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I bet that's rat damage not squirrel damage. Rats fit under car dashes and hoods better.
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Old 10-13-2008, 11:34 PM   #49
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Squirrels and chipmunks climb better than rats. But all the little bastards love the taste of plastic wire insulation, for some reason.
Everything is interesting... look closer.
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Old 10-14-2008, 12:15 AM   #50
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I'm getting worried about these rodents, people. It's time to ring the alarm bell.

I've read (I think in Enemy at the Gates, recommended) that as the Germans advanced through Russia, a large force of tanks (in the hundreds) was temporarily crippled when, during a few days recovery period, field mice chewed through many of the engine cables, which was not noticed until the tanks were given their next orders to advance.

Also, Herodotus' The Histories relates how an army (in old Egypt, I think) was defeated in a campaign when a plague of mice chewed all the leather straps off their equipment.

In recent times, Cellarites have reported direct attacks and even repeated home invasions by rodents.

Now, they are beginning their campaign by first picking off our allies, the dogs.

Clearly this is a species with evil intentions towards us. They are flexing their muscles, practicing their co-ordination, rehearsing their attacks. They are angry. They have defeated us in battle before.

This is no time for appeasement.

We are in trouble. Conventional firearms will be ineffective against them. No barrier is impenetrable to their evil hordes. Arm yourselves for the coming battle, my fellow humans. I recommend the nine-iron. Or fire.

Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008.
Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.
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Old 10-14-2008, 04:57 AM   #51
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I have the stew pot!
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animal, dog, squirrel

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