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Old 05-10-2009, 10:24 PM   #1
xoxoxoBruce
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May 11, 2009: Limbless Masseur/Masseuse

Limbless? Then they must use their bodies, right? That's right.

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A masseuse in Israel who has discovered that some people will pay top dollar ($80) to have snakes slither across their backs and faces. Turns out that king snakes and corn snakes deliver a nice kneading sensation when they get their slither on.


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Ada Barak figured out several years ago that heavy king and corn snakes produce a relaxing kneading sensation. For years, she's been entertaining guests at her farm where she cultivates rodent-eating carnivorous plants. Strangely, she found a sideline that's even more bizarre.
I suppose this would cut down the undercover cops snooping around.

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Old 05-10-2009, 11:11 PM   #2
zippyt
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I would have to be Drugged to put up with that !!!!
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Old 05-10-2009, 11:29 PM   #3
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I remember on Bullshit, the show Penn & Teller did for a while, one of the early episodes was bogus medicine. In one segment they had a doctor-looking guy in a white lab coat out at a mall explaining to people about the newly-found benefits of snail slime. They showed a woman with a snail crawling over her face... "Oh, wow, Doctor, I can feel it exfoliating my pores!!" or some crap like that.
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Old 05-11-2009, 04:08 AM   #4
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Discussion overheard at a snake parlor:

"OK, all the snakes are on.."
"All the snakes?"
"Well, yeah, you said all those snakes."
"YOU IDIOT! Not the Black Mamba!"
.
.
"Ah lady please lie very still"
"OW! I just got bit.."


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Old 05-11-2009, 04:09 AM   #5
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What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger?
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Old 05-11-2009, 05:51 AM   #6
The Teapot
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Profesionalism mainly.
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Old 05-11-2009, 06:32 AM   #7
DanaC
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Originally Posted by The Teapot View Post
Profesionalism mainly.


lol fuck you teapot, I just lost a mouthful of coffee.
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Old 05-11-2009, 07:08 AM   #8
Trilby
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Um.





No.
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Old 05-11-2009, 07:22 AM   #9
ZenGum
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Originally Posted by spudcon View Post
What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger?
Well, that's why they smear the ratburger on the patient's body. It's either that or pheromones, take your pick.
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Old 05-11-2009, 07:24 AM   #10
capnhowdy
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Old 05-11-2009, 09:11 AM   #11
morethanpretty
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I will hold a snake, I will not let it crawl over me, especially if I'm naked. Snakes like to get into crannies, and nooks...
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Old 05-11-2009, 09:29 AM   #12
jinx
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Jim and I used to have a corn snake. His name was Slim... he got out of his cage and was never seen again. I wonder if he went to the big city and got a job in a massage parlor?

eta: I want a rodent-eating carnivorous plant. Bad.
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Old 05-11-2009, 09:34 AM   #13
Shawnee123
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Slim was really hoping to break into acting. He left, hitchhiked to California, and tried out for Snakes on a Plane. They rejected him, said he was too ethnic. Last I heard, he was washing dishes in a seedy diner.

It's a story as old as the hills, and I didn't write it.

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Old 05-11-2009, 11:12 AM   #14
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I heard he went to work in the SlimJim factory.
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Old 05-11-2009, 11:16 AM   #15
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When I saw this thread, I was thinking it would be along the lines of those jokes "What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, ...?"
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