Not owning up... and how to address the upset

[Pooka]

This thread is not aimed at romantic relationships specifically, but rather any human we happen to have a connection to either by our own choice or by blood...

I have encountered a situation where I am being lied to… this I know with absolute certainty. I have given the individual (who happens to be a family member… but not my side of the family) the opportunity to “come clean” and admit to me they were wrong and work with me to resolve the issue, but they chose to lie about it directly to my face. I am at a loss as to how to approach it…

In a nut shell:

I had a bunch of fabric squares that I had collected from my clothing from the time I was 10 until I was 25 years old. My intention was to make a crazy quilt someday, but life intervened and it sat in my closet for 10 years. Flint and I lived with this individual for a little less than a month when we first got together and the fabric stayed at their house. I shouldn’t have left them there, but I did and I’ll admit I said she could use them… of course that was before we had children. Last May I asked for them back for my children… (I know they were not in use at the time). Well… she had a much cluttered house and didn’t know where they were. I didn’t follow up for several months… just busy… little people and all. Then Flint brought some puzzles over there and one of them was a crazy quilt puzzle… a few weeks later I noticed a quilt in production that resembled my fabric. I wasn’t certain that it was my fabric after all… I only glanced at it as I was walking out the door… in any case it reminded me to follow up… my plan is to make quilts for my kids and embroider on it as they grow. She brought 2 small bags over. The next day as I was separating out the fabric I noticed that lots of fabric was missing… including all the pocket squares (I saved the pockets because I thought they’d be cute… to put little treasures in). So I know there are plenty not accounted for.

Last night we were over at her house and I saw the quilt again… and it was in fact my material. It was not the time or place for confrontation though. This morning I called and asked “Is it possible that there is another bag still over there… There should be lots more red velvet, green and all the little pockets are missing” And she very quickly said… “NO… that’s all I looked through everything… there aren’t any others”. Which I know for a fact is a lie… having seen it with my own eyes. She had to get off the phone immediately after that. I didn't feel comfortable telling her I saw them.

So here is my predicament… do I confront her and show it to her when I am there for Thanksgiving… what if she is making it for us (though I seriously doubt it)… do I wait till it is given to someone else and then say “those are my squares…I thought you said you gave all of them back?”

I just don’t know how to approach it, but I’m really upset about it… both about being lied to and second that they would use them knowing I wanted them for my kids. I don't feel that I can turn a blind I to it.. and if it is a gift for someone else there will be drama for sure for years to come... I'm not really willing to let it go.