What's scorching your groove today?

[Big Sarge]

sorry about that orthodoc.......you know we are all rooting for you. I really like your positive attitude. I think that is one of the most important steps to getting well

[footfootfoot]

Ortho, sorry about your skin graft. At least it wasn't corruption.

that was medical humor.

[infinite monkey]

When you tell something personal about yourself (as embarrassing as it may be) to try to lend to the topic at hand, and someone ignores you and makes you feel like a fucking asshole for having anything to say about it.

[Gravdigr]

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

When you tell something personal about yourself (as embarrassing as it may be) to try to lend to the topic at hand, and someone ignores you and makes you feel like a fucking asshole for having anything to say about it.

me, too.

mostly, though, I just get ignored. Maybe b/c I'm too frivolous for these deep thinkers here 'bouts with all their incredibly intricate arguments that go exactly nowhere.

there have been people here in the cellar who have influenced me, though.

first one would be Dana; Clodfobble, Tony, Pat, wolf (first second amendment loving republican pagan I've ever met), and MaggieL who taught me that no matter WHAT sex you are or perceive yourself to be you CAN be a gigantic asshole. Cat Woman taught me that English women can be horrid bitches and Cherry taught me that English women can be warm, wonderful and compassionate as well as hilarious. Monster was the first ex-Brit living here that I ever knew (that I know of) and Pam was just simply....sublime.

[glatt]

this ignoring thing is ridiculous.

This is a forum, not a room with people talking. It's not like you are standing there talking to someone's face, and they just walk away. There's a time delay here. If you post something, there is no guarantee that it will be read right away. Even if it is read away, it may stand on its own merits and not need any sort of acknowledgement. Perhaps a post needs to be mulled over a little bit before it's responded to. Perhaps the person who read it only had a minute to check the Cellar and then had to go off and do something in real life. And speaking personally, there is no obligation for me to respond to every post that I read. There are hundreds of posts a day by all the dwellars, and I only write a handful myself. I'm not ignoring the ones that I don't respond to, but I don't have the time or energy to respond to everything. If something is directed to me personally, I'm probably going to respond to it, but I might not, because I might see the point being made as standing on its own. I don't see a need to say "yeah, good point."

I know (pretty sure, anyway) this ignoring claim isn't being directed at me specifically, but I think that other dwellars probably have perspectives that are similar to my own.

If someone shares a deeply personal story, I can understand a feeling of insecurity or of putting oneself out there and a desire to be responded to immediately, but that's just not how the Cellar is structured. There is a time delay. It's not a room with people talking face to face.

Based on all the responses I see you two getting, I wouldn't say either one of you is ignored. Some individual posts are not responded to, sure, but that happens to absolutely every dweller. Many posts by most people are not responded to.

[infinite monkey]

I feel like the commercial with the litter and the native american man and the single tear running down his face.

[ZenGum]

Looks like the army are helping some hippies build a straw bale house. What's wrong with that?


(Yeah, I know, that is "special" straw!)

[Trilby]

what's on that guy's head?

what IS that stuff?

[Trilby]

all good points, glatt.

sometimes I'm just PMS'ing, ya know? (wink)

sometimes I'm just bitchy. today I'm semi-bitchy. I need my meds. I DO! I admit it. I'm going to go take them right *now*.

but, really. You're right.

[infinite monkey]

Well hoo haa haaa.

Seriously, the lecture was unnecessary. I feel what I feel and I see what I see and I've already talked about it to an appropriate person so really you don't need to make me feel worse about it.

Of course there are people who maybe had a toe hair caught in their shoe and you'll get 75,000 posts of sympathy and advice and cooing sounds of lamentation, and there are people some just can't be bothered with. It's certainly up to each individual to assess their own situation and viewpoint...whether they're being silly that they just laid their heart out there and they envision, after viewing all the 28 or 29 views the thread has received without a response, people sticking their noses in the air just out of spite. Because, you know, they already have you all figured out and they know that your only problem is simply that you're a fucking bitch from hell...while they start a website to bring public attention to stuck toe hairs and take donations for the necessary medical research needed so that we can finally combat fucking stuck toe hairs.
No one, ever, had a stuck toe hair before...or maybe the public is just more aware of the toe hair problem and feel it's time to stop hiding it and deal with it.

Anyway, I heard all of what you said before, when I sought advice, only in a much kinder way (i.e. not in a 'just get over yourself' kind of way but in a show of understanding whether I deserved it or not.)

But it is also a fact that understanding isn't always so understanding.

So that post was indeed MY issue, and I dealt with it. I thank you for the reminder, though.

Now can I get on with being the funniest person on the planet? Great.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

you don't need to make me feel worse about it.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I like you and I think you are funny. You too Tribly.

[infinite monkey]

Oh glatt...you're one of the best people on earth, in my opinion.

I'm mouthy. And I've been out of sorts.

There are certainly nothing even close to bad feelings from me towards you.

[DanaC]

I usually find that the 'being ignored' feeling comes from inside my own head, not from anything anybody has or hasn't said.

I remember feeling really upset one time in here, and I think the only person I ever talked to about it was Sundae. I felt absolutely ignored and disregarded, and a little bit hurt. I also felt a little defensive, because rather than putting myself out there, I'd put my eldest niece out there. In the Proud Parent thread. And nobody was interested enough to make a comment. Except Sundae. And I waited to see if anybody would comment. And they didn't. And then people posted about other stuff and their kids and grandkids. And the only comment was from Sundae, who I'd pm'd to say: ooooh I just posted a pic of Meels, go check it out.

So, I'd posted all about her triumph and success and a picture that i thought looked stunning, and noone was really interested. I ended up posting a followup a few days later, and I think someone did do a caption for the pic which was quite funny.

I wound myself up good and proper over that. But the reality is, people weren't ignoring or disregarding me and mine. All that sense of being ignored, all that hurt at an apparent lack of interest which takes no account of how many people actually looked, or the particular way in which people interact with that thread (nipping in with pics, all aglow and really more concerned with what you're about to share that what's already gone by :P) ...and indeed, the way I interact with that thread (infrequently and often without commenting) was coming from me.

But in my own mind I built it up into something hurtful. For a little while. Just in one of those fragile moods that occasionally hit :p



[eta] my point, inasmuch as I have one, is that not being responded to on a forum does not equate to being ignored or disregarded, and more of us have at some point experienced that feeling of being ignored than you might imagine.

[Gravdigr]

There is just too much shiny stuff in the world for me to reply wi---ooh, look, a butterfly.


And, to hell with you, you fucking Infinite fucking Monkey, you. Glossing right over, and even making fun of my toe hair issues. I told you that in confidence.