Suicide

[deepandchilled03]

I'm a very new dweller here, but have lurked here for years now. I wanted to start a topic on suicide. Who here has experienced it as a victim of a relative, friend, lover, etc? Also who has contemplated it?

I suffer from depression pretty badly. All of my life. I take medication and the typical stuff, I've had drug problems in the past in trying to escape it, etc. I came close to commiting suicide once, it was more of a cry for help then actually trying. I'm a very laid-back, good humored guy. I used to have extreme self-esteem issues, but over came them a few years ago. And now I'am actually a very outgoing and social person. I've made great progress in dealing with it. It's just that I easily get dragged into this hell hole if things go even slightly wrong. It sucks guys, to put it very simple.

I do think about suicide still, quite often. But its more of an escape for the mind then anything. When that dark cloud of depression engulfs me, thinking about suicide gives you a sense of hope that there is a way out. However, I know at this point in my life I would not actually go through with it. I have a 3 1/2 year-old son, and he his my main focus and my life. I'm 25 btw.

I've been having a real tough time lately, I want to talk about it, and everyone here seems very open-minded.