Do guys really care about a girls sexual history? - Page 8

10-03-2006, 03:22 PM

Sundae Girl,

Your rebuttal, which I loosely call, is exactly the rationalization that takes place once the milk get spilled.

Your premises are: Guys do it so why don't we. If it feels good then do it. Why take responsibility for your actions if your can rationalize it away.

Your cause and effect explanation isn't wrong so to speak but off target. ONE of the points being made was the lack of emotional investment by women that have had multiple partners. The betrayal in thoughts is as real as in the body. “Backdating?”

"But the idea that I've spoiled myself for apples by eating an orange just doesn't make logical sense to me."

Huh! What is this have to do with emotional bonding? You know the thing that irks you.

As for choosing a virgin over a "player." Using part of your questionable analogy, why buy an apple with worms when you can get fresh one off the tree. Quality counts in every purchase or investment, and money and looks have nothing to do with emotional quality. Are you going to rationalize away the obvious now? If your “friends” say it doesn’t matter then they are poor judges of what really matters in life.

For the men around you that you assume have had more than one lover, its irrelevant. You should reread my past post. Men do not have the sexual advantages of women! That’s why men who are successful bedding women are considered by some in our society as successful. I don’t think a man that presents himself as a possible long term mate then humps and dumps is a successful or moral man. But mans sexual success is base entirely on effort, where as women’s is a matter of choosing to say yes or no. WOMEN CHOOSE AND MEN WAIT TO BE CHOOSEN.

There is no double standard and sexual “freedom” isn’t free. My understanding of women’s liberation was about careers out side the home not about pulling there pants down and using false comparisons to justify it.

This string is about a women sexual history. It does matter for all the reasons I stated and to date other than opinions and kowtow from posters I haven’t seen or read one single rational or reasonable refutation.

Happy Monkey · 10-03-2006, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmwmcaw

Your premises are: Guys do it so why don't we. If it feels good then do it. Why take responsibility for your actions if your can rationalize it away.

I thought the premise was that guys and girls both do it, why is it only considered bad for girls?

morethanpretty · 10-05-2006, 01:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmwmcaw

WOMEN CHOOSE AND MEN WAIT TO BE CHOOSEN.

I have chosen and waited to be choosen (is that even the correct spelling?)...I'm pretty sure I'm not a hemaphidite...wait one sec...*checks*...nope only a vagina...

Ibby · 10-16-2006, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmwmcaw

Using part of your questionable analogy, why buy an apple with worms when you can get fresh one off the tree.

I regret it, but I'm gonna get involved in this too.

Your entire argument hinges on this concept, prettymuch, no?

Sometimes, you gotta put up with a couple worms for the best damn apple youve ever tasted. You obviously aren't willing to, and quite frankly, that's relieving, because it means you will not keep yourself in the gene pool. You've socially darwinized yourself out of reproduction, and thats a relief to people everywhere.

EDIT: and Aliantha says it better that I ever could in her thread...

Quote:

Other than that, I don't really care how many partners they've had. Only that the [men] they have chosen to have relationships with have been treated with dignity and respect from start to finish.

After all, sex is one thing...love is something entirely different.

10-16-2006, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ibram

I regret it, but I'm gonna get involved in this too.

Your entire argument hinges on this concept, prettymuch, no?

Sometimes, you gotta put up with a couple worms for the best damn apple youve ever tasted. You obviously aren't willing to, and quite frankly, that's relieving, because it means you will not keep yourself in the gene pool. You've socially darwinized yourself out of reproduction, and thats a relief to people everywhere.

EDIT: and Aliantha says it better that I ever could in her thread...

Over 30 post and you nit-pick one sentences to launch from. Good luck and somebody wake me when this "person" says something of a real rebuttle.

Aliantha · 10-03-2006, 06:57 PM

I have had far more sexual partners than my husband has. He's pretty happy with the outcome.

I guess that makes me a slut, but then again, don't 'all' men want a slut in the bedroom, a chef in the kitchen and something else somewhere else? (can't remember how that one finishes cause I think it's a load of tripe. I just thought I'd pop it in there for the benefit of bmw since he seems to believe in so many other stereotypes)

Relationships based on sexual history or performance will almost always fail because relationships aren't about sex. Sex is a benefit of being in a loving relationship and definitely something to look forward to, but it's not why you have the relationship in the first place - unless you're incredibly emotionally immature.

Some people enjoy living in the dark ages - bring on the inquisition I say!

Undertoad · 10-03-2006, 08:09 PM

PDF: CDC measurements of sexual behavior in males and females age 15-44

From tables pgs 28-29

ok then.

Madman · 10-03-2006, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

...like how many, who, how etc??

My gfs and I were discussing this last nite and it seems guys can still be a bit weirded out by a girl who has a fairly ...err...impressive? (not the word I was looking for

) sexual history.

Is it true? Do I need to dull down my resume?

Do guys just want sex from the ones that put out, or can they still fall in love with them??

I have this problem where I always say the first thing that comes to mind, so if I get asked a question...I never think..."do I answer this truthfully or should I be a bit vague?".

From my point of view, if a guy I am attracted to is going to be bothered by my past, he probably isnt the guy for me.

I don't see what importance ones sexual history is. Of course, you have to consider this era of record breaking STD's. Then of course you would probably like to know what kind of person you are dating before you get all kinky and shit.

I think if some guy gets all bothered to the point of becoming ballistic about a womans past sexual escapades. Then that guy has an insecurity issues. Same goes for the woman too.

How many of us are virgins by the time we hit 20 years of age? If someone asks you that, well why do they want to know. How do you answer? You don't. Unless you really want to find out what this person is all about (find out just how insecure he or she really is). Then again, say you say you had 15 partners. They say nothing but want to get you into the sack anyway. Follow your gut here. Some concern is normal reaction. Extreme concern is not normal and no concern is not normal.

Did I tell my wife 24 years ago? Yes. Did she tell me? Yes. Her reaction was more involved when I told her than when she told me. She reacted, I reacted but neither of us reacted to an extreme. More questions came out as our relationship grew. The reactions never increased. They actually decreased. Eventually (over the years) they never came up again (no point in it). Married, two kids. Who gives a shit who you slept with 24+ years ago? Not us!

Point is: watch for overeaction. That would be a flag.

Use common sense too. If they're 30 and a virgin they deserve a gold medal for overcoming natural human desires. If they're 30 and they haven't invented a word for that number - eh... think twice before you indulge.

Sundae · 10-04-2006, 06:48 AM

Of course people are entitled to apply their own criteria in choosing a partner. And entitled to their own opinion as to what does/ does not make a woman a slut.

I don't agree that your sexual HISTORY follows you around like a bad smell. I'm not talking about people who have a long term cavalier approach to sexual partners, who wake up in a different bed or against the back wall of a bar every weekend. And neither was bmwmcaw from what I can tell. I'm talking about people who have had a number of relationships which have involved healthy, monogamous and emotionally satisfying sexual intercourse.

In my mind they have not cheapened themself, they are not damaged goods, wormy apples, sluts or bikes.

I also disagree with the idea that a man can be proud of the sluts he's nailed. He worked for it. He was the hunter and his was the prize. Whereas the dirty sluts should hang their heads in shame. They laid back with their open door policy and let anyone with a pulse do the nasty.

That is what I have a problem with. Not with someone saying that they waited until they were married and personally their opinion of women who don't is pretty low.

But I know I can't come to an agreement with bmwmcaw on this.

Griff · 10-04-2006, 07:08 AM

I agree that the double standard is nonsense.

yesman065 · 10-04-2006, 07:46 AM

Undertoad - Give us a breakdown on the #'s - whats it all mean? Seems like men and women are pretty equal for the most part as far as the # of partners - no?

Griff · 10-04-2006, 08:09 AM

It would be neat to see more precise data to see if there is a normal distribution curve, but it looks real enough if you just divide the numbers.

Undertoad · 10-04-2006, 08:11 AM

- actually the men have generally had 2-3 more partners.

- bmw's Cosmo numbers are, as expected, entirely bogus. The typical 25-y-o American woman has had three partners, and only 6.9% at that age have had 15 or more partners.

- men are more likely to be sluts by far. By age 45, 34% of men will have had 15 or more partners, while only 11% of women.

- men are more likely to sleep around in their late 20s-30s. Between age 25-45, the median number of partners for women goes from 3.5 to 3.8. In that same timeframe for men, the number goes from 5.9 to 8.2.

- fewer women are virgins by age 19; 37.8% to 43.5%.

yesman065 · 10-04-2006, 08:34 AM

Damn at 42 if I wanna get up to the "average" I better start sleeping around soon. I'm in that low 5%. OK, I need about a dozen women willing to help me out! Any volunteers??

Sundae · 10-04-2006, 08:47 AM

Well if you can stomach a bite of a wormy apple....?

10-03-2006, 06:57 PM	#6
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I have had far more sexual partners than my husband has. He's pretty happy with the outcome. I guess that makes me a slut, but then again, don't 'all' men want a slut in the bedroom, a chef in the kitchen and something else somewhere else? (can't remember how that one finishes cause I think it's a load of tripe. I just thought I'd pop it in there for the benefit of bmw since he seems to believe in so many other stereotypes) Relationships based on sexual history or performance will almost always fail because relationships aren't about sex. Sex is a benefit of being in a loving relationship and definitely something to look forward to, but it's not why you have the relationship in the first place - unless you're incredibly emotionally immature. Some people enjoy living in the dark ages - bring on the inquisition I say! __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

10-04-2006, 06:48 AM	#9
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Of course people are entitled to apply their own criteria in choosing a partner. And entitled to their own opinion as to what does/ does not make a woman a slut. I don't agree that your sexual HISTORY follows you around like a bad smell. I'm not talking about people who have a long term cavalier approach to sexual partners, who wake up in a different bed or against the back wall of a bar every weekend. And neither was bmwmcaw from what I can tell. I'm talking about people who have had a number of relationships which have involved healthy, monogamous and emotionally satisfying sexual intercourse. In my mind they have not cheapened themself, they are not damaged goods, wormy apples, sluts or bikes. I also disagree with the idea that a man can be proud of the sluts he's nailed. He worked for it. He was the hunter and his was the prize. Whereas the dirty sluts should hang their heads in shame. They laid back with their open door policy and let anyone with a pulse do the nasty. That is what I have a problem with. Not with someone saying that they waited until they were married and personally their opinion of women who don't is pretty low. But I know I can't come to an agreement with bmwmcaw on this. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-04-2006, 07:08 AM	#10
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I agree that the double standard is nonsense. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

10-04-2006, 08:09 AM	#12
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	It would be neat to see more precise data to see if there is a normal distribution curve, but it looks real enough if you just divide the numbers. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

10-04-2006, 08:47 AM	#15
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Well if you can stomach a bite of a wormy apple....? __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-03-2006, 03:22 PM	#1
bmwmcaw Guest Posts: n/a	Sundae Girl, Your rebuttal, which I loosely call, is exactly the rationalization that takes place once the milk get spilled. Your premises are: Guys do it so why don't we. If it feels good then do it. Why take responsibility for your actions if your can rationalize it away. Your cause and effect explanation isn't wrong so to speak but off target. ONE of the points being made was the lack of emotional investment by women that have had multiple partners. The betrayal in thoughts is as real as in the body. “Backdating?” "But the idea that I've spoiled myself for apples by eating an orange just doesn't make logical sense to me." Huh! What is this have to do with emotional bonding? You know the thing that irks you. As for choosing a virgin over a "player." Using part of your questionable analogy, why buy an apple with worms when you can get fresh one off the tree. Quality counts in every purchase or investment, and money and looks have nothing to do with emotional quality. Are you going to rationalize away the obvious now? If your “friends” say it doesn’t matter then they are poor judges of what really matters in life. For the men around you that you assume have had more than one lover, its irrelevant. You should reread my past post. Men do not have the sexual advantages of women! That’s why men who are successful bedding women are considered by some in our society as successful. I don’t think a man that presents himself as a possible long term mate then humps and dumps is a successful or moral man. But mans sexual success is base entirely on effort, where as women’s is a matter of choosing to say yes or no. WOMEN CHOOSE AND MEN WAIT TO BE CHOOSEN. There is no double standard and sexual “freedom” isn’t free. My understanding of women’s liberation was about careers out side the home not about pulling there pants down and using false comparisons to justify it. This string is about a women sexual history. It does matter for all the reasons I stated and to date other than opinions and kowtow from posters I haven’t seen or read one single rational or reasonable refutation.

10-03-2006, 08:09 PM	#7
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	PDF: CDC measurements of sexual behavior in males and females age 15-44 From tables pgs 28-29 ok then.

10-04-2006, 07:46 AM	#11
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	Undertoad - Give us a breakdown on the #'s - whats it all mean? Seems like men and women are pretty equal for the most part as far as the # of partners - no?

10-04-2006, 08:11 AM	#13
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	- actually the men have generally had 2-3 more partners. - bmw's Cosmo numbers are, as expected, entirely bogus. The typical 25-y-o American woman has had three partners, and only 6.9% at that age have had 15 or more partners. - men are more likely to be sluts by far. By age 45, 34% of men will have had 15 or more partners, while only 11% of women. - men are more likely to sleep around in their late 20s-30s. Between age 25-45, the median number of partners for women goes from 3.5 to 3.8. In that same timeframe for men, the number goes from 5.9 to 8.2. - fewer women are virgins by age 19; 37.8% to 43.5%.

10-04-2006, 08:34 AM	#14
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	Damn at 42 if I wanna get up to the "average" I better start sleeping around soon. I'm in that low 5%. OK, I need about a dozen women willing to help me out! Any volunteers??

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