Engaged! - the Razz edition - Page 5

Razzmatazz13 · 07-26-2010, 11:14 PM

For everyone who doesn't really care how my computer system at work works

I plan to take his last name, and I'm happy to do so. I just wanted to express that the ring makes me happy because it's tied to a part of my family that I don't know much about.

In my opinion, because taking the man's last name is the "norm" for the country I happen to live in it's just easier. I realize that some feel it's archaic and some feel like it's the dude trying to oppress you, and some people are just so gosh derned forward thinking that they want their men to take their names, and some people dig the hypen, and some people move it to their middle names so they can hang onto it, and some people create new and improved last names, and some people just have ugly last names they want to get rid of, and...and...and.....

If any of the above is your thing, then go for it. It's just not for me.

My SO has a decent last name, and I'm proud to wear it eventually, it's just a bummer that my last name is over. If the family was worried about it, my dad coulda had more kids. He didn't. Game over.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-26-2010, 11:44 PM

Ya can't please everyone, so ya gotta please yourself.

classicman · 07-27-2010, 07:43 AM

You got it 100% correct - different strokes for different folks. You've chosen what is best for you two. That's the right thing to do.

Undertoad · 07-27-2010, 09:48 AM

My ex step-father paid my ex $1000 to return to her maiden name. (Which was fine to me btw, I could give a shit what she calls herself)

Before she got married, she wanted to lose the name because she didn't like her abusive family. But money talks, even stupid money.

Razzmatazz13 · 07-27-2010, 10:16 AM

Thus far my mom took her husband's name - got divorced - took her maiden name - married my dad - took his name - got divorced - kept his name - got married - took her husband's name

too...much....paperworkkkk

Clodfobble · 07-27-2010, 04:08 PM

After my mom divorced her second husband (my dad,) she decided that rather than go back to her maiden name for the second time, she'd choose a new name entirely: her own mother's maiden name. On the one hand, I thought this was a little weird, but on the other, it meant she didn't have to deal with yet another name change when she eventually left my stepfather.

monster · 07-27-2010, 09:39 PM

You just described my mom, Fob. 'cept she took an (alleged) old family name from generations back. Then hyphenated it with her next husband.... No idea what she's using now.....

In UK, it's not the norm to go back to the maiden name after divorce so much. Costs money for a start....

Sundae · 07-29-2010, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

In UK, it's not the norm to go back to the maiden name after divorce so much. Costs money for a start....

I dunno, I was considered very odd by almost everyone for not reverting to my maiden name...

I also had a friend who chose to change her name by deed poll after her divorce. She was Indian, but had no contact with her birth family, instead she was brought up in England by an elderly and fairly distant relative. So she felt no connection to her maiden name. He husband cheated on her and left her within a year of marriage, so she certainly didn't want to keep her married name.

So she chose something quite unusual and distrinctive which still fit her heritage. I won't type it here in case she still has the same name! I quite admired her for that.

classicman · 07-30-2010, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

I dunno, I was considered very odd by almost everyone...

Not here

Clodfobble · 07-27-2010, 09:57 PM

Yeah, a friend of mine's mom never went back after her divorce because, as she put it, by that point she'd spent more years of her life as the husband's name than the original name anyway.

Shawnee123 · 07-27-2010, 10:00 PM

I kept my married name. Easier to spell and pronounce, and my first, middle, and last names are symmetrical in number.

casimendocina · 07-28-2010, 04:22 AM

I reckon going with the Spanish way of things is the solution.

When a woman gets married, she keeps her name and adds her husbands name. e.g. Jane Smith of [husband's name], meaning that she continues to be there are kids, then the kids have both surnames e.g. first name + father's surname + mother's surname. All names are put on all documents. Confusing to get one's head around at first, but I reckon it works.

Clodfobble · 07-28-2010, 09:34 AM

The Spaniards still have the same problem, they just don't use hyphens.

Jane Jones Smith (Jones being her mother's name, Smith being her father's) marries John Doe, and becomes Jane Jones Smith de Doe. They have a daughter, who is named Sally Jones Smith Doe (because remember, Jones isn't a middle name, her mother's last name is, in fact, considered to be Jones Smith, and Sally's last name is Jones Smith Doe in its entirety.)

Sally marries Pedro, and becomes Sally Jones Smith Doe de Santiago...

Ad infinitum or ad nauseam, whichever comes first. Most rational people start dropping names from the middle at some point, but I have seen documents (researching Spain for a thing in college) that prove not everyone is rational in this regard.

Shawnee123 · 07-28-2010, 03:40 PM

I know a woman who had to have surgery to have her hyphen removed!

Pete Zicato · 07-28-2010, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I know a woman who had to have surgery to have her hyphen removed!

Was she still able to have a period?

07-26-2010, 11:14 PM	#1
Razzmatazz13 Vicariously, I live... Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,221	For everyone who doesn't really care how my computer system at work works I plan to take his last name, and I'm happy to do so. I just wanted to express that the ring makes me happy because it's tied to a part of my family that I don't know much about. In my opinion, because taking the man's last name is the "norm" for the country I happen to live in it's just easier. I realize that some feel it's archaic and some feel like it's the dude trying to oppress you, and some people are just so gosh derned forward thinking that they want their men to take their names, and some people dig the hypen, and some people move it to their middle names so they can hang onto it, and some people create new and improved last names, and some people just have ugly last names they want to get rid of, and...and...and..... If any of the above is your thing, then go for it. It's just not for me. My SO has a decent last name, and I'm proud to wear it eventually, it's just a bummer that my last name is over. If the family was worried about it, my dad coulda had more kids. He didn't. Game over. __________________ I have some people I need to have smoted. ~ SteveDallas

07-26-2010, 11:44 PM	#2
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Ya can't please everyone, so ya gotta please yourself. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-27-2010, 07:43 AM	#3
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	You got it 100% correct - different strokes for different folks. You've chosen what is best for you two. That's the right thing to do. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

07-27-2010, 10:16 AM	#5
Razzmatazz13 Vicariously, I live... Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,221	Thus far my mom took her husband's name - got divorced - took her maiden name - married my dad - took his name - got divorced - kept his name - got married - took her husband's name too...much....paperworkkkk __________________ I have some people I need to have smoted. ~ SteveDallas

07-27-2010, 04:08 PM	#6
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	After my mom divorced her second husband (my dad,) she decided that rather than go back to her maiden name for the second time, she'd choose a new name entirely: her own mother's maiden name. On the one hand, I thought this was a little weird, but on the other, it meant she didn't have to deal with yet another name change when she eventually left my stepfather. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

07-27-2010, 09:48 AM	#4
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	My ex step-father paid my ex $1000 to return to her maiden name. (Which was fine to me btw, I could give a shit what she calls herself) Before she got married, she wanted to lose the name because she didn't like her abusive family. But money talks, even stupid money.

07-27-2010, 09:39 PM	#7
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	You just described my mom, Fob. 'cept she took an (alleged) old family name from generations back. Then hyphenated it with her next husband.... No idea what she's using now..... In UK, it's not the norm to go back to the maiden name after divorce so much. Costs money for a start.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-27-2010, 09:57 PM	#10
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Yeah, a friend of mine's mom never went back after her divorce because, as she put it, by that point she'd spent more years of her life as the husband's name than the original name anyway. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

07-27-2010, 10:00 PM	#11
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I kept my married name. Easier to spell and pronounce, and my first, middle, and last names are symmetrical in number. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

07-28-2010, 04:22 AM	#12
casimendocina Professor Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,622	I reckon going with the Spanish way of things is the solution. When a woman gets married, she keeps her name and adds her husbands name. e.g. Jane Smith of [husband's name], meaning that she continues to be there are kids, then the kids have both surnames e.g. first name + father's surname + mother's surname. All names are put on all documents. Confusing to get one's head around at first, but I reckon it works.

07-28-2010, 09:34 AM	#13
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	The Spaniards still have the same problem, they just don't use hyphens. Jane Jones Smith (Jones being her mother's name, Smith being her father's) marries John Doe, and becomes Jane Jones Smith de Doe. They have a daughter, who is named Sally Jones Smith Doe (because remember, Jones isn't a middle name, her mother's last name is, in fact, considered to be Jones Smith, and Sally's last name is Jones Smith Doe in its entirety.) Sally marries Pedro, and becomes Sally Jones Smith Doe de Santiago... Ad infinitum or ad nauseam, whichever comes first. Most rational people start dropping names from the middle at some point, but I have seen documents (researching Spain for a thing in college) that prove not everyone is rational in this regard. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

07-28-2010, 03:40 PM	#14
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I know a woman who had to have surgery to have her hyphen removed! __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

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