Jea-lousy

[Trilby]

What do you think of people who tell you things to MAKE you jealous and then, when you're jealous, they say, "Oh, well. Try not to think about it..."-???

Like this: "Oh, here's a pic of me and this young woman who helps my mom out around the house. Mom tries to fix me up with her!" and you are his girlfriend? I mean, you THOUGHT you were his girlfriend? And he's done shite like this before? Do I overreact? Or, is he jerking me around?

[mrnoodle]

1) he's insecure
2) he's a dick
3) he's testing the waters for a 3-way



Take your pick. But it's probably not good. imo.

[Flint]

Originally Posted by mrnoodle

3) he's testing the waters for a 3-way

Originally Posted by Peter "Family Guy" Griffin

"Jokingly at first, but then I was gonna gauge your reaction and if you were cool with it, we would go from there."

[glatt]

He's probably a little insecure with some amount of cluelessness thrown in. But comes off looking like a jerk. You should let him know you didn't appreciate it, but don't blow it up into a big thing.

[Flint]

Trying to puff up his desirability with the "competition" factor, IE touting his "other options" . . . ? (textbook insecurity)

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by Flint

Trying to puff up his desirability with the "competition" factor, IE touting his "other options" . . . ?

See, I think that is a large part of it. He already KNOWS I adore him. Plus, I think he's being 30% insecure jerk. maybe 50% insecure jerk. My gut says so. but, like i said, I adore him! why does he DO this? what's that song...carly simon: Why'd you tell me this? Were you lookin for my reaction...that one.

[Elspode]

Is this the Gooey Nerd of Love, here? If so, the fact your yourself identify him as a nerd may have a lot to do with this. Nerds typically don't have much experience with dealing with women who aren't their mothers.

He could just be hopelessly, but attractively, inept.

[DucksNuts]

In my (limited) experience, some people use jealousy as a gauge of how much you care for them.

Havent you ever known a girl that uses every trick in the book to try and make her SO jealous, then gets all pissy when that person doesnt react at all?

Sounds like he's trying to convince you that he's alot more desirable than he thinks?? He doesnt get that you dont need convincing

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Brianna

What do you think of people who tell you things to MAKE you jealous ...

I stopped dating them in high school.

Originally Posted by Brianna

... He already KNOWS I adore him...but, like i said, I adore him! why does he DO this?

WRONG QUESTION. Why do YOU do this?

(a little self esteem goes a long way)

[morethanpretty]

Hmmm this is a hard one for me, I accidently make my boyfriend jealous all the time. I have a lot of guy friends. Perhaps it was an accident for him too...
I mention guys who hit on me, and the different things my guys say to me, to my boyfriend and its not to make him jealous or show that I have other options...I'm just telling him about my day, life, ect. There is really no reason to get jealous anyway, you either trust him around the opposite sex and if you don't you drop him. BTW he knows that the most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to me, after his "I love you", was when my HS friend Kyle told me,"You look gorgeous when you cry" I had had a bad day and that cheered me up.

[Rock Steady]

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

Hmmm this is a hard one for me, I accidently make my boyfriend jealous all the time. I have a lot of guy friends. Perhaps it was an accident for him too...
I mention guys who hit on me, and the different things my guys say to me, to my boyfriend and its not to make him jealous or show that I have other options...I'm just telling him about my day, life, ect....

I have to disagree with you here, you can talk about these things differently. My wife and I have opposite-gender friends that we each go out with to events, lunch, etc. We can talk about it while skipping over details that would make the other uncomfortable, or presenting things in a non-threatening way.

[lhatcher]

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

Hmmm this is a hard one for me, I accidently make my boyfriend jealous all the time. .

I beg to differ. You can make someone jealous by accident only once. Then, when you know you've made them jealous, any continuation is based on a decision to do so. When someone does something that bothers me and I tell them about it and ask them not to do it again, I may forgive 1 or 2 more but if they continue to do it they're doing in on purpose and you have to wonder why.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by lhatcher

I beg to differ. You can make someone jealous by accident only once. Then, when you know you've made them jealous, any continuation is based on a decision to do so. When someone does something that bothers me and I tell them about it and ask them not to do it again, I may forgive 1 or 2 more but if they continue to do it they're doing in on purpose and you have to wonder why.

Here's another side to that story, albeit extreme and not, probably what you had in mind.
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=91051

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by lhatcher

I beg to differ. You can make someone jealous by accident only once. Then, when you know you've made them jealous, any continuation is based on a decision to do so. When someone does something that bothers me and I tell them about it and ask them not to do it again, I may forgive 1 or 2 more but if they continue to do it they're doing in on purpose and you have to wonder why.

He's only volunteerly admitted to being jealous a couple of times, the other times it took me a while to figure it out and call him on it.
Different things make people jealous tho. I might tell my b/f about how one guy I know from school made me feel better, but that I wish that he had been there to comfort me instead. It might make my boy a bit jealous of the other guy but really poses no threat to him. But when I talk about a certain guy from work he has gotten jealous b/c he feels like I might have a crush on him. My b/f doesn't always tell me when I say something that makes him jealous. Plus it is harder for me to determine what will make him jealous or not, I don't have much experience with jealousy. So it is not an emotion I consider very often. I don't want to hide things from my b/f either, then I feel guilty, and I have hidden a crush I had from him before, not to keep him from getting jealous, but because I didn't want to hurt him or make him mistrusting of me. If I tell him about the guys (and sometimes girls) I hang out with and sometimes flirt with then I feel more comfortable, I'm not hiding anything that can hurt us later. He reasures me that his being jealous is a problem he has to work on, when I tell him a story I reassure him that I have no feelings/desire toward whoever, but him.

Bri-sorry to take away from your own issue, but all I can say is that you need to tell him your feelings on the subject. Be open about being jealous, he may truly have no idea and the only way to make sure is to talk about it.

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

He's only volunteerly admitted to being jealous a couple of times, the other times it took me a while to figure it out and call him on it.
Different things make people jealous tho. I might tell my b/f about how one guy I know from school made me feel better, but that I wish that he had been there to comfort me instead. It might make my boy a bit jealous of the other guy but really poses no threat to him. But when I talk about a certain guy from work he has gotten jealous b/c he feels like I might have a crush on him. My b/f doesn't always tell me when I say something that makes him jealous. Plus it is harder for me to determine what will make him jealous or not, I don't have much experience with jealousy. So it is not an emotion I consider very often. I don't want to hide things from my b/f either, then I feel guilty, and I have hidden a crush I had from him before, not to keep him from getting jealous, but because I didn't want to hurt him or make him mistrusting of me. If I tell him about the guys (and sometimes girls) I hang out with and sometimes flirt with then I feel more comfortable, I'm not hiding anything that can hurt us later. He reasures me that his being jealous is a problem he has to work on, when I tell him a story I reassure him that I have no feelings/desire toward whoever, but him.

Bri-sorry to take away from your own issue, but all I can say is that you need to tell him your feelings on the subject. Be open about being jealous, he may truly have no idea and the only way to make sure is to talk about it.

You know I've tried my damn-nist to befriend women. Unless we where working on the same project or had to deal with each other through work or school there was always, ALWAYS, sexual tension if there was even a shade of physical attraction. Hell even if it was at work or school the same problem occured.

You know, you know, you know it could "happen." Given the right circumstances and situation. I think its just biological. I think everyone of us, being honest with ourselves knows friends of the opposite sex are more likely than not to be future partners and thats the rub. Thats why men and women are suspicious, because they can both hear the biological backround music. Its probably the way you meet your current partner so why shouldn't he/she be jealous when that same senario is being played out with the guy/gal friends.