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Old 01-23-2008, 08:06 PM   #1
DucksNuts
Bitchy Little Brat
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 5,067
Awesome Pick Up Lines.....

NOT!!

Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in.

Do you have a library card, 'cause I want to check you out.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Man - Fat Penguin! Woman - WHAT? Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

I can't find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up

If you were a McDonald's burger, I would call you McBeautiful....

I know I can't have your virginity, but can I have the box it came in?

Add your own
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Old 01-24-2008, 07:48 PM   #2
Radar
Constitutional Scholar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Ocala, FL
Posts: 4,006
Do you work for UPS? I swear I saw you checking out my package.
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Old 01-24-2008, 10:05 PM   #3
DucksNuts
Bitchy Little Brat
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Queensland, Australia
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Thanks Radar the chirping was annoying.

This is my fav.."My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in"

I've been using it daily.
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Old 01-30-2008, 03:38 PM   #4
pourbill
Do-er of Deeds
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: washington, missouri
Posts: 41
I've got the F, the C, and the K, the only thing missing is you.
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Old 01-30-2008, 03:48 PM   #5
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
I like that dress. You know where it would look even better? Laying on the floor next to my bed.

Yeah, stupid, but I actually heard that one before.
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Old 01-30-2008, 03:57 PM   #6
Giant Salamander
Deity of Dogs
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 114
Not clever so much as creepy.

"You smell like my mother. I like that."

"I'll give you twenty bucks now, and another twenty tomorrow morning. Thirty, if you call me Daddy."

"Get in the car. Now."
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Old 01-30-2008, 06:04 PM   #7
Cicero
Looking forward to open mic night.
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 5,148
Salamander- the last one doesn't seem much like a pick up line? In fact, the last two seem like lines for prostitutes?

lol@pourbill's.
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Old 01-30-2008, 06:59 PM   #8
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Actual lines used on me (and my cruel rejections in white):

"Do you think it's cheesy to ask a woman 'What's your sign?'"
"Do you have any idea how old I am?"

(I was 14. I wasn't as good a judge back then, but I swear to God he must have been at least 30.)



"Relationships just have so much baggage, you know? My friend and I have decided that I should just be a complete slut this semester."
"Sounds like your friend got the better end of the deal."
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Old 07-08-2010, 04:13 PM   #9
Ryu Nagita
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Well me and my friends were bored one day and we started listing horrible pick up lines and well one of them cam up with this (do not mean to affend any one)

"Are you jewish cause your on fire"

I did find it funny but cruel at the same time.
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Old 07-09-2010, 04:09 AM   #10
toranokaze
I'm still a jerk
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Little Mexico
Posts: 1,817
That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window.

I'm kidnapping you now.

Put this under your tongue.

Do you have some Mexican in you? Do you want to?

I will love every bone in your body expeicly mine.

Face it you aren't going to do better tonight.

You won't regret this hell I doubt you will remember.

I can grant you a wish. If that wish is to be nailed in a public bathroom.


Want to be famous; I'm a serial killer.
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Old 07-09-2010, 10:20 AM   #11
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
"Excuse me, do you have the time?"

"yes, it's..."

"Good, I have the place."
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Old 07-09-2010, 10:51 AM   #12
Gromitspapa
Knight of the Oval-Shaped Conference Table
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 377
"Let's get some pizza and fuck."

"What's the matter- don't like pizza?"
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Old 07-10-2010, 08:16 AM   #13
ZenGum
Doctor Wtf
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryu Nagita View Post
Well me and my friends were bored one day and we started listing horrible pick up lines and well one of them cam up with this (do not mean to affend any one)

"Are you jewish cause your on fire"

I did find it funny but cruel at the same time.
Konnichiwa Ryu-san!

to the cellar.

That's extra funny, cause Sheldon is flaming, baby!
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Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.
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Old 07-10-2010, 10:37 AM   #14
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
Am thinking of trying these ones out down the local estate pub, whaddya reckon?
Classy chatup lines to try on men (mine own work):

If you were a bishop I would kiss your ring.

If you were a milkshake I'd suck you hard.

If you were a turkey I'd gobble you up.

If you were an airbed I'd pump you all night.

You're like a bellyfull of Bacardi Breezers - you get me all hot and make me want to take my knickers off.

You're like a couple of pints of Stella - you make me want to show off and then go and have a lie-down.

You're like a Vindaloo [very hot curry] - I bet I'll be up and down all night.

You're like incontenence - I'm unexpectedly all wet.
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Old 07-13-2010, 01:17 AM   #15
spudcon
Beware of potatoes
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate NY, USA
Posts: 2,078
"My friend bet me $100 that you wouldn't go home with me. He's a real jerk, and I'm sure you would rather see me win $100 than lose it."
"Excuse me, but I dropped my Congressional Medal of Honor under you dress."
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