If you had died today..

[monster]

what killed you?

Doesn't have to be epitaph style, or prose, or even remotely amusing, but have fun if you fancy..... It kinda oughta be related to your day, though.....

Mine for yesterday:

Here lies monster, and her fat.
Met her match chasing the cat.

And today:

As Hector's hockey team (Storm) scraped a draw against a team who have only won so far, their parents get frantic. Storm fans try to leave without making eye contact, but as fans are returning the (beads in bottles) noisemakers to the bag, one falls out and rolls under the foot of the oppo parent walking past the home team bleacher (the one ominously mutterring about the reffing sucking and not looking where he's going), causing him to trip and land heavily on the far end of the aluminum bench where monster is holding the bag for the noisemakers. She and the noisemakers are catapulted onto the ice right in front of the Zamboni. The noisemakers were caught by the amazing Storm Goalie, but alas, the ice now has an interesting finish.