Tasteless Jokes - Page 11

elSicomoro · 12-13-2002, 01:38 PM

Okay...this apology shit has GOT to stop.

j03L10T · 12-14-2002, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sycamore
Okay...this apology shit has GOT to stop.

WE WON'T GO

elSicomoro · 12-14-2002, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by j03L10T
WE WON'T GO

Is that right? Well, I'll just have to break out the Little Black Book and call all those supposed folks you worked for...you know what they did with the woman who claimed to sing on Paula Abdul's albums, right?

slang · 12-14-2002, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sycamore
Okay...this apology shit has GOT to stop.

Please accept my most sincere apology for not apologizing sooner.

Acknowledgment is a stain on our nation's soul. There is no other way to describe it. It represents one of our lowest moments in our history, I grew up in an environment that condoned policies and views that we now know were wrong and immoral, and I repudiate them. Atonement and concession are immoral, and I again apologize for not apologizing much sooner than this. It is my hope that you will understand that this was a mistake of my ass and not my heart. I regret not having shown more heartfelt regret much sooner and I apologize again, for not apologizing. I’m really sorry for my words, they were poorly chosen and insensitive, and I apologize for not regretting not apologizing.

<B>I agree Trent, enough is enough and if people don't accept it they need to get a life

</B>

Undertoad · 12-14-2002, 04:59 PM

I'm so sorry that I'm going to take an hour of TV time to air various things that may or may not convince people that I actually am sorry.

j03L10T · 12-15-2002, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sycamore

Is that right? Well, I'll just have to break out the Little Black Book and call all those supposed folks you worked for...you know what they did with the woman who claimed to sing on Paula Abdul's albums, right?

They fucked her? Be my guest, amd while you are at it say hey to Celine Dion for me. Man, what an incredible bod.

j03L10T · 12-15-2002, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Undertoad
I'm so sorry that I'm going to take an hour of TV time to air various things that may or may not convince people that I actually am sorry.

Your mistakes are actually a greater part of the solution than any of you may have ever thought to have considered. We learn from them. We move on and realize that things we do as children are not any indicator of the true character and underlying values of even young adults. I learned a lot of usefull things and accept you as you are.

headsplice · 12-16-2002, 01:14 PM

I was walking out of one of the local 'gay' (it goes in quotes b/c I think #hetero>#homo) bars a couple of years ago at closing time. It is important to note (for the purposes of the story) that I am not a homosexual. As I'm walking out the door with my friend TM (who is gay) we hear an extremely drunk voice ask (to TM):
Drunk: "Is that your boyfriend?"
TM: (looks at me and laughs)"No, no he is not."
Drunk:"Oh." (five second pause)"Well, that's okay, take him home and fuck him anyway."

WHEEEEE!!!!! I love it when people get so drunk they can't stand up on their own!

headsplice · 12-16-2002, 01:18 PM

And.....to make up for that last one:
What are the two biggest lies in Poland?
-1)The check is in your mouth.
-2)I won't come in the mail.

Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week!

perth · 12-16-2002, 01:28 PM

why did god invent whiskey?

to keep the irish from taking over the world.

~james

wolf · 12-16-2002, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by headsplice
WHEEEEE!!!!! I love it when people get so drunk they can't stand up on their own!

Ah ... changes in perspective ... I used to enjoy using drunks as playthings for head games cuz they were such easy targets. But I have promised to use these superpowers only on the side of the forces of good (well mostly) so I don't do that anymore.

Now when I deal with someone that drunk, i think of two things ... one, how much extra paperwork I'm going to have to deal with because I had to send some stupid drunken motherfucker to the ER for medical clearance, and two, the relative tranquility, once that paperwork is completed, because said jackass will not be back in my waiting room until long after my shift is over.

Personally I like the Listerine drunks the best. They're just as toasted as the beer/whiskey drunks, but at least they're minty-fresh.

headsplice · 12-16-2002, 01:51 PM

Quote:

but at least they're minty-fresh.

HAHAHAHA!

j03L10T · 12-17-2002, 02:28 AM

Thugs have hijacked a truck containing a huge shipment of viagra. The police as well as other local authorities are advising citizens of the community to be on the look out for hardened criminals.

j03L10T · 12-17-2002, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by wolf

Ah ... changes in perspective ... I used to enjoy using drunks as playthings for head games cuz they were such easy targets. But I have promised to use these superpowers only on the side of the forces of good (well mostly) so I don't do that anymore.

Now when I deal with someone that drunk, i think of two things ... one, how much extra paperwork I'm going to have to deal with because I had to send some stupid drunken motherfucker to the ER for medical clearance, and two, the relative tranquility, once that paperwork is completed, because said jackass will not be back in my waiting room until long after my shift is over.

Personally I like the Listerine drunks the best. They're just as toasted as the beer/whiskey drunks, but at least they're minty-fresh.

Um, think I'm going to pay more attention to what other people are saying from now on. I know what I actually did, so it's not right for me to have made such a comment. I'm not going to repeat it, I'm actually honored in a strange and unexpected way. Joined at the hip, over and beyond the mountain. It's true, but I apologize for that fucked up comment, I just didn't know and will pay more attention from now on. Please accept my apology for the careless joke, of course I still think the world of you!

wolf · 12-17-2002, 12:39 PM

1. I thought we were done apologizing.

2. j03, I have absolutely no clue what you're apologizing for.

(I thought the viagra joke was funny ...)

12-16-2002, 01:14 PM	#8
headsplice Relaxed Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 676	Not so much a joke as a (slightly) funny story... I was walking out of one of the local 'gay' (it goes in quotes b/c I think #hetero>#homo) bars a couple of years ago at closing time. It is important to note (for the purposes of the story) that I am not a homosexual. As I'm walking out the door with my friend TM (who is gay) we hear an extremely drunk voice ask (to TM): Drunk: "Is that your boyfriend?" TM: (looks at me and laughs)"No, no he is not." Drunk:"Oh." (five second pause)"Well, that's okay, take him home and fuck him anyway." WHEEEEE!!!!! I love it when people get so drunk they can't stand up on their own! __________________ Don't Panic

12-16-2002, 01:18 PM	#9
headsplice Relaxed Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 676	And.....to make up for that last one: What are the two biggest lies in Poland? -1)The check is in your mouth. -2)I won't come in the mail. Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week! __________________ Don't Panic

12-17-2002, 02:28 AM	#13
j03L10T going nowhere slow Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: L.A. Posts: 252	This just in- Thugs have hijacked a truck containing a huge shipment of viagra. The police as well as other local authorities are advising citizens of the community to be on the look out for hardened criminals. __________________ "There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'.

12-17-2002, 12:39 PM	#15
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	1. I thought we were done apologizing. 2. j03, I have absolutely no clue what you're apologizing for. (I thought the viagra joke was funny ...) __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-13-2002, 01:38 PM	#1
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Okay...this apology shit has GOT to stop.

12-14-2002, 04:59 PM	#5
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	I'm so sorry that I'm going to take an hour of TV time to air various things that may or may not convince people that I actually am sorry.

12-16-2002, 01:28 PM	#10
perth Strong Silent Type Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Fort Collins, CO Posts: 1,949	why did god invent whiskey? to keep the irish from taking over the world. ~james

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