Job burnout

[Shawnee123]

(Subtitled: Me, Me, Me)

As many of you suggested, I should sound off here in the Cellar rather than letting it all build up and losing it again. I really believe I am a classic case of job burnout. I think "great, just one more thing where people can think 'just pick yourself up by the boot straps, wimp'"

The following article, with my annotations in blue, suits me to a T (tee?)

What is burnout and who's at risk?
Burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion caused by long-term exposure to demanding work situations. Burnout is the cumulative result of stress. You may be more prone to burnout if:
 You identify so strongly with work that you lack a reasonable balance between work and your personal life What personal life?
 You try to be everything to everyone
 Your job is monotonous
 You work in the helping professions, such as health care, counseling, teaching or law enforcement In my opinion, financial aid fits this

What are the signs of burnout?
Ask yourself these questions to see if you're experiencing signs and symptoms of burnout:
 Do you find yourself being more cynical, critical and sarcastic at work? YEP
 Have you lost the ability to experience joy? Mostly
 Do you drag yourself into work and have trouble getting started once you arrive? Not really, I drag myself in, but am usually immediately bombarded with problems so I get dragged into work, so to speak
 Have you become more irritable and less patient with co-workers, customers or clients? YEP
 Do you feel that you face insurmountable barriers at work? Yep
 Do you feel that you lack the energy to be consistently productive? Yep
 Do you no longer feel satisfaction from your achievements? Mostly
 Do you have a hard time laughing at yourself? Sometimes
 Are you tired of your co-workers asking if you're OK? Yep--especially the ass kissers who live in a golden world
 Do you feel disillusioned about your job? Completely. I used to think helping people get a higher education was a worthy calling, and one that would be rewarded if I just worked hard---puh
 Are you self-medicating — using food, drugs or alcohol — to feel better or to simply not feel? Yep
 Have your sleep habits or appetite changed? Yep
 Are you troubled by headaches, neck pain or lower back pain? Yep
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be experiencing burnout. You may also be depressed.
Identify the causes
Is it time to take action?
If you feel you may have signs or symptoms of burnout don't ignore them. Like stress burnout can have significant health consequences including fatigue, insomnia, weight gain or loss. It has the potential to put some people at increased risk of depression, anxiety and other emotional difficulties. And working in an environment that negatively affects your physical and mental health can affect your personal life.
Talk to your supervisor or mentor, or see your doctor or a mental health professional. A counselor at your employee assistance program (EAP) can help you assess your interests, skills and passions. This can help you decide if you should consider an alternative job, whether it be one that's less demanding or one that better matches your interests.
Recovery from burnout is possible, but it may require changes and take time, so don't expect a quick fix. Keep an open mind and consider all your options. Don't let a demanding job affect your health.


Even reading this, I wonder if job burnout is a strong enough diagnosis. I am so completely stressed out I feel that I might actually start screaming some day. I cry at least once a day. There are so many issues, from workload to respect and consideration, that job burnout seems almost too tame. This institution touts its "core values" and "valuing people" but it all seems like lip service when they only way to gain important recognition is to play all the right games and kiss all the right asses.
My boss used to be the best. She is still a wonderful person, but my cries for help seem to be falling on deaf ears. I've mentioned burnout. I even tried to get next week off, to no avail. I said something about needing a vacation (I was very sick for a couple weeks but didn't take time off because we are so freaking busy.) but not being able to have one and she was like 'tell me about it.' SHE JUST HAD A VACATION OVER EASTER SO SHE COULD PRAISE HER LORD...I HAVEN'T HAD EXTENDED TIME OFF IN WAY OVER A YEAR. And when I was sick there was none of that "you need to take care of yourself." Instead, all of a sudden she was sure she must have pneumonia (she didn't.) They will also not let me miss the graduation ceremony to attend my niece's dance recital. Yet I hear all the time that our health and our families are more important. Graduation, that's another thing that tears my heart out every year since I was promoted to this administrative position. Here's how that works. Most administrators in Student Services are REQUIRED to walk in the grad ceremony. FA administrators are FORBIDDEN to walk in the grad ceremony. As hard as I work, as many people as we make it possible to attend college, I have to be there to hand out programs and do crowd control like I'm a Workstudy (student worker) while my PEERS trot down the aisle in front of hundreds of people wearing the colors of the college from which they graduated. I went to a college where you actually had to be admitted; I don't have an easy-bake oven degree like many here (when I mentioned Kurt Vonnegut had died most people here were like "who?") Yet I feel humiliated and hurt every year, and realize that the Core Value "Valuing People" doesn't apply to me.

I'm sick, tired, and so disillusioned I can't stand it. I'm tired of being angry, and I'm tired of being discounted. Where is this kind of hurt supposed to go? I'm normally the one who makes people laugh, the one who will do silly things for levity, the person who people just like. I still do that, to some extent, but it's increasingly peppered with frustration and tears and that makes everything hurt worse when people think you're crazy. Why is it that everyone talks about recognizing when someone needs relief, that we're all human, but when you really really need relief people wonder what the hell is wrong with you. Why doesn't the VP of our department, a licensed counselor, who SEES but refuses to SEE (presumably because I am not one of her minions) try to offer assistance?

I know, I need to find a new job. The catch-22 is I don't have the emotional energy or the confidence to get out there and do it...at the end of the day I just want to either cry, sleep, or drink.

Thanks for listening. I needed to talk about it.

Also, I didn't add any more to my apology thread because I am kind of hoping it fades into the sunset that is the next page, but all of you who were supportive and forgiving--I want to thank you. I won't name you all, but your comments made me happy--an emotion that has been very scarce as of late.

[Hime]

*hug* It sounds like you're suffering from burnout if not real depression.

Is it possible for you to see a counsellor or therapist? That could really help.

Keep us posted on how you're doing.

[bluecuracao]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I know, I need to find a new job. The catch-22 is I don't have the emotional energy or the confidence to get out there and do it...at the end of the day I just want to either cry, sleep, or drink.

How about this: Give two weeks' notice, then sign up with every temp agency in town.

I have done this (but without the notice part ), with good results. It did amazing things for my emotional energy, and freed me up to look for a full-time job.

Or

Take the time off that you need, no matter what (call in sick for a few days or whatever). If they happen to fire you for it, you can collect unemployment for 6 mos. while you look for another job.

[glatt]

I don't have any suggestions that aren't obvious. Others have suggested trying to get a new job or seeing a therapist/doctor. Those are clearly the right answers. Do you have any sort of employee assistance counselors you can call? Someone you can talk to who can at least point you in the right direction for help?

But keep coming back here and posting about how you are feeling. As more people come by this thread, you should get some good advice and support.

[LabRat]

Check out your HR depatment's website and look for anything relating to wellness in Faculty and Staff Services. This is an example of ours. Available to all staff is 4 free 1 hour counseling sessions. (My husband and I took advantage of this for some marriage counsling a few years ago.)

If you have vacation or sick time USE IT NOW!! Just getting away, even if it's to hang out at home, should help you get some perspective and decide what steps you need to take to get things back under control.

I can't seem to find my depression thread right now, so I can't remember your history, but either way a trip to a doc might not hurt either. Talking to someone can help you figure out if you are actually having more stress in your life, or if you are just a lot more sensitive to your typical stressors for some reason. Note: I am not saying, "ooh, go on drugs to chill out!!!"

For that matter, someone who has known you for a long time that you can trust to give you an honest answer might be able to tell you the same thing. They also might be able to point things out to you that, being on the outside, aren't visible to you in the middle of the storm that is currently you life.

[Cloud]

yeah, counseling does help. And remember--take care of yourself FIRST.

[Shawnee123]

I am in treatment for depression. That is a long time chronic concern. But I used to find a lot of joy in my job.

I have plenty of time off coming, but if I mention taking time off my boss has not acted like she liked the idea (again, the fact that I may have a complete breakdown at any moment seems irrelevant to the fact that there is work to do.)

Yes, LR, I work at a college. Our VP (whose office is about 3 doors down from mine) and is a licensed counselor seems to also be in denial about my state of mind. I wish I could talk to her about it, but I don't think it would help anything except for her wishing she could let me go but knowing it's going to be hard to find a replacement for this low paying, stressful job. When she talks about diversity and how we need to understand that we're not all the same I want to throw up; yep, we're not all the same, but it's only a good thing if it doesn't threaten her department in any way.

We don't have the services like you have at UI, LR, but that is awesome! Sounds like a great place to work!

I am here late tonight because we have to deliver one of those stupid surveys that never changes anything. Apparently, the responsibility lies on student service administrators because instructores don't like to give tests or something. Teaching a class (which is what this amounts to for me; if I wanted to be a teacher I would have signed on) is not in my job description. Apparently I am considered an administrator for things that suck like this but not for something like graduation.

Quitting is not an option; I am in dire financial straits and there is no way. Plus, my parents who are already worried about me would be even more worried. Still, when I mention my job stress to my mom I KNOW what she's thinking: all jobs are stressful. I started working at 13 years old. i know about stress...but nothing has ever been like this.

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions. I feel better getting to talk about it.

[piercehawkeye45]

All those are good ideas and maybe trying to find a hobby or doing something that will take your mind off your life for an hour or two a day if you can find the time.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I'm with bluecuracao, plus

Core Value "Valuing People" doesn't apply to me.

That rah rah bullshit, you're a valuable part of the team is what Grandpa told the mules just before he whipped them. Don't buy into that, look out for #1.

Oh, I wouldn't show up at graduation on a bet. Tell them you have to stay home and clean your guns.

[Aliantha]

Temping can be a very good way to earn money. I'm not sure what the job market is like in your part of the world Shawnee, but over here, you'd have to be the worst worker in the world not to get plenty of work. Also, temp work pays better than full time.

Maybe it's worth looking into even if you don't end up taking the plunge?

About your emotions. I reckon most of us can relate to how you're feeling and I think all the really good advice has been given already so I can't add anything more than to say I really hope you can turn on the light one day and realise you're worth more than you think.

[Clodfobble]

I also can heartily recommend temping. I've done it for 6-month periods on two separate occasions, and both times there were only maybe 2 days total where I didn't have assignments. Plus, many companies use temp agencies as a try-before-you-buy program for new employees--at least half the places I temped at offered me a full-time job (but I had to tell them no because I really was only looking for temporary work.) And it really does pay well! I obviously don't know how much you're making now Shawnee, but you've indicated it's not great. There's no financial risk if you go straight from one paying job to another.

So let's review the 3-step Clodfobble-approved plan:

1.) Call in sick tomorrow. DO IT. What are they going to do, fire you? You know they need you more than that, and so do they.
2.) Sleep late, then dress up like you're going to an interview and go to a local temp agency. Most of them take walk-ins. Fill out the paperwork, then go eat lunch in the park.
3.) Wait for temp agency to call (this is assuming they didn't offer you an assignment before you even left the office.) Call in sick again the next day; repeat as necessary.

[LabRat]

Excellent advice Clod.

You EARN your vacation and sick time. You have a RIGHT to take it. If you think your boss is going to give you grief, make sure that you remind her of that. Sick is sick. Fever or burnout, you are not feeling well, and need some recouperation time.

Tell her that you are taking the week of May X off for vacation. If you are worried about her giving you trouble, look up in your HR manual the proper procedure for getting vacation and sick time, then do it 'by the book'.

Good luck.

[Shawnee123]

You've all given great advice. I need to do some thinking over the weekend.

I wish I didn't still feel this base loyalty. I feel I own my job, you know? I've always taken pride in my work.

I hadn't thought about temp agencies because the ones we have around here always seem to be focused on the factory jobs. But now that you mention it we had a job fair here a couple months ago, and the Manpower reps seemed interested in me and my skills. Who knows what might transpire?

Thanks again, everyone. I feel better already (for now)

[LabRat]

Pride. Nasty, nasty emotion that.

Better to be proud of yourself for taking care of you, than too proud to take a well deserved break, no?

:hugs:

[Sundae]

I am certainly with the Clodfobble plan, although I'd just take it as far as dipping your toe in the water - just find out what the agencies have available and if it's favourable go back into work the next day and hand you rnotice in - you'll still need them for a reference after all.

It sounds as if temping in other countries is far better than in the UK - here it barely pays a living wage as well as carrying very few benefits (sick pay, holidays etc) Make sure you sit down and talk to an agency properly before you take them up on any offer - I once switched agencies and only found after I ended my contract that their hourly wage included an allowance for holiday. In effect I took a paycut when I went to work for them - it was a higher hourly rate but I didn't accrue any holiday pay so there was no happy little bonus in my last paypacket as I'd always had with the previous agency. That was about 5 years ago and I'm still mad!

Also I know you need to think about things like health insurance, so just make sure you check all the facts. I'm probably teaching you to suck eggs here, but you can't think of everything when you're feeling trapped!

Good luck chick - take some positive action this week or next week and I'm sure you'll feel better for it.