What's mildly amusing you today? - Page 11

Cloud · 08-31-2009, 01:42 PM

keep the kitties indoors for safety and long life

monster · 08-31-2009, 01:46 PM

keep everyone indoors for safety and long life

Cloud · 09-03-2009, 04:37 PM

A woman who worked as a paralegal in an adjacent office was indicted and arrested for allegedly embezzling over $200,000 from former employer.

She worked in our building for about 6 months and then was fired, but there were rumors about her even then.

Oy.

DucksNuts · 09-10-2009, 05:17 AM

The Himbo is amusing me today.

It was his birthday and he had two days off (his bday and the one after), he called to abuse me for not sending a Happy Birthday sms (I did say Happy Bday as soon as he called)....to which I replied I knew he was spending the day with his family and gf...so thought I would leave him alone.

A couple of the girls at work and I bought him a full length mirror for his office and wrote on it in lipstick.

Now, it was a *take the piss* present obviously, because he enjoys looking at himself so much, but he was sooooo grateful that we bought it and spent an hour trying to figure out where was the best place to put it...."because I dont want my customers to think Im weird or anything....with a full length mirror in my office".

Before he hung it, he carried it around the office trying to figure out how he could look at his own arse whilst he was walking and when any of us talked to him...he would lift the mirror in front of himself and point it as us...which was disconcerting and then he would say ..."Are you talking to yourself?"...which was goofy but funny.

The boy is lucky he has looks going for him.

ZenGum · 09-10-2009, 07:41 AM

Ducks' himbo amuses me too.

Amusing but also worrying me a little is the hapless lad in one of my classes who just got one out of eight questions right in the true/false section of the test.

Damn, that's statistically significantly worse than chance. He must have negative intelligence.

Queen of the Ryche · 09-17-2009, 03:48 PM

On the center divider. Every afternoon I take the same route home from work. On the concrete and brick center divider there lies one lonely shoe. Every day. Same place. I first noticed it in January - It has survived snow, wind, flooding, homeless people passing by - (Guess they wouldn't really have any need for one shoe) - Its contancy makes me smile.

glatt · 09-17-2009, 07:45 PM

I like

Madman · 09-18-2009, 08:28 AM

A few days ago I was sitting, watching the kids movie "Ratatouille" with my neice (she's four years old). We were playing with some of those cloth circles (I don't know what they are called) - about the size of a ring, different colors, etc... Anyway, after a few minutes she had her fingers covered with these things and she wanted to show her mom what she had done. Well, I continued watching the movie for a few minutes and then I picked the magazine up I was reading earlier. Somewhere in there I had placed that cloth ring around my big toe and had forgotten about it.

Well, I went to bed around 11pm.

Next day.
Got up, got dressed, went to work.
Got home, got cleaned up, dressed, went to bed.

Next day.
Got up, got dressed, went to work.
Got home, got cleaned up... was getting dressed when I noticed this orange colored cloth ring around my big toe.

I started laughing...

Wife come into bedroom and asks what's so funny. I start telling her my story about the cloth ring...

I get to the part about placing it on my big toe and I show her my toe with the orange colored cloth ring on it...

She laughs so hard her dentures almost fall out...

classicman · 09-18-2009, 09:39 AM

good story!

skysidhe · 09-18-2009, 09:56 AM

really lol-ing madman

great story too QOTR - nice

Shawnee123 · 10-01-2009, 07:50 AM

This mildly amused me yesterday.

College pres did one of his campus wide keepin' in touch with everybody meetings yesterday. One of the things we discussed was the whole Swine Flu thing (are we doing enough, too much, is it blown out of proportion...)

As we left, a woman was at the door handing out a draft of a notice that will be sent to students regarding symptoms and the like. She was freaking LICKING HER THUMB to get the next sheet to hand out.

Um, gross. I was grossed out when my 2nd grade teacher did that. I haven't read the letter yet, I have sent it out to be sanitized, but I wonder if one of the items is: do not lick your fingers to pick up a paper then hand that paper to someone as that paper is now covered in your germ-ridden slimy phlegm.

glatt · 10-01-2009, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

She was freaking LICKING HER THUMB to get the next sheet to hand out.

I hate that.

Shawnee123 · 10-01-2009, 08:26 AM

I have to wonder: are your freaking fingers made of teflon or something? How hard is it to get the next sheet of paper? At the very least, invest in one of those rubber fingers.

glatt · 10-01-2009, 08:29 AM

You can even flex the stack of papers just so, and it will fan them all out by a millimeter each, so you can just pick each one up.

Shawnee123 · 10-01-2009, 08:30 AM

Exactly!

A woman I work with is 8 months pregnant. I turned to see her come out the door with her nose all wrinkled up, and she mumbled "I told her I already have one."

08-31-2009, 01:42 PM	#1
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	keep the kitties indoors for safety and long life __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

08-31-2009, 01:46 PM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	keep everyone indoors for safety and long life __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-03-2009, 04:37 PM	#3
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	A woman who worked as a paralegal in an adjacent office was indicted and arrested for allegedly embezzling over $200,000 from former employer. She worked in our building for about 6 months and then was fired, but there were rumors about her even then. Oy. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

09-10-2009, 07:41 AM	#5
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Ducks' himbo amuses me too. Amusing but also worrying me a little is the hapless lad in one of my classes who just got one out of eight questions right in the true/false section of the test. Damn, that's statistically significantly worse than chance. He must have negative intelligence. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

09-17-2009, 03:48 PM	#6
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	The Shoe On the center divider. Every afternoon I take the same route home from work. On the concrete and brick center divider there lies one lonely shoe. Every day. Same place. I first noticed it in January - It has survived snow, wind, flooding, homeless people passing by - (Guess they wouldn't really have any need for one shoe) - Its contancy makes me smile. __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

09-10-2009, 05:17 AM	#4
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	The Himbo is amusing me today. It was his birthday and he had two days off (his bday and the one after), he called to abuse me for not sending a Happy Birthday sms (I did say Happy Bday as soon as he called)....to which I replied I knew he was spending the day with his family and gf...so thought I would leave him alone. A couple of the girls at work and I bought him a full length mirror for his office and wrote on it in lipstick. Now, it was a take the piss present obviously, because he enjoys looking at himself so much, but he was sooooo grateful that we bought it and spent an hour trying to figure out where was the best place to put it...."because I dont want my customers to think Im weird or anything....with a full length mirror in my office". Before he hung it, he carried it around the office trying to figure out how he could look at his own arse whilst he was walking and when any of us talked to him...he would lift the mirror in front of himself and point it as us...which was disconcerting and then he would say ..."Are you talking to yourself?"...which was goofy but funny. The boy is lucky he has looks going for him.

09-17-2009, 07:45 PM	#7
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I like

09-18-2009, 08:28 AM	#8
Madman has left the building. Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 455	Somewhat humorous story.... A few days ago I was sitting, watching the kids movie "Ratatouille" with my neice (she's four years old). We were playing with some of those cloth circles (I don't know what they are called) - about the size of a ring, different colors, etc... Anyway, after a few minutes she had her fingers covered with these things and she wanted to show her mom what she had done. Well, I continued watching the movie for a few minutes and then I picked the magazine up I was reading earlier. Somewhere in there I had placed that cloth ring around my big toe and had forgotten about it. Well, I went to bed around 11pm. Next day. Got up, got dressed, went to work. Got home, got cleaned up, dressed, went to bed. Next day. Got up, got dressed, went to work. Got home, got cleaned up... was getting dressed when I noticed this orange colored cloth ring around my big toe. I started laughing... Wife come into bedroom and asks what's so funny. I start telling her my story about the cloth ring... I get to the part about placing it on my big toe and I show her my toe with the orange colored cloth ring on it... She laughs so hard her dentures almost fall out...

09-18-2009, 09:39 AM	#9
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	good story! __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

09-18-2009, 09:56 AM	#10
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	really lol-ing madman great story too QOTR - nice

10-01-2009, 07:50 AM	#11
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	This mildly amused me yesterday. College pres did one of his campus wide keepin' in touch with everybody meetings yesterday. One of the things we discussed was the whole Swine Flu thing (are we doing enough, too much, is it blown out of proportion...) As we left, a woman was at the door handing out a draft of a notice that will be sent to students regarding symptoms and the like. She was freaking LICKING HER THUMB to get the next sheet to hand out. Um, gross. I was grossed out when my 2nd grade teacher did that. I haven't read the letter yet, I have sent it out to be sanitized, but I wonder if one of the items is: do not lick your fingers to pick up a paper then hand that paper to someone as that paper is now covered in your germ-ridden slimy phlegm. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

10-01-2009, 08:26 AM	#13
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I have to wonder: are your freaking fingers made of teflon or something? How hard is it to get the next sheet of paper? At the very least, invest in one of those rubber fingers. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

10-01-2009, 08:29 AM	#14
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	You can even flex the stack of papers just so, and it will fan them all out by a millimeter each, so you can just pick each one up.

10-01-2009, 08:30 AM	#15
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Exactly! A woman I work with is 8 months pregnant. I turned to see her come out the door with her nose all wrinkled up, and she mumbled "I told her I already have one." __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

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