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Old 12-06-2019, 10:36 PM   #1741
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Chopping wood with an axe for the Christmas fire, handle slipped and spun around Looney Tunes style to hack you right in the temple.

This brat kid dropped an iron on your face and electrocuted your partner while the two of you tried to rob his house on Christmas Eve.

Santa flew a little too low and Rudolph's hoof grazed your face as he passed overhead.
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Old 12-06-2019, 10:45 PM   #1742
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
BDSM partner played rough and you forgot the safe word. Brutal night. Might go again though.

~

Nothing actually happened, but your nephew is going to be a surgeon, and he really wanted to practice on a live patient. So it's just a cut and a stitch. He actually paid you $500 for it though, in case it leaves a mark. He did the final tie of the stitch with one hand!
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Old 12-06-2019, 11:44 PM   #1743
sexobon
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
Bought a DIY facelift kit for eye wrinkles. Doing the other side next week.

Got an anti-facial recognition device implant.

Termite damage.
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Old 12-07-2019, 12:21 AM   #1744
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
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"Shot by a bullet in the war" is a standard.
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Old 12-07-2019, 12:57 AM   #1745
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
I used to be an adventurer like you, but....
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Old 12-07-2019, 04:07 PM   #1746
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Bacon cooking accident...
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Old 12-07-2019, 04:13 PM   #1747
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
Good catch, nice scar. Get well, stay well.
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Old 12-07-2019, 06:23 PM   #1748
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
You've heard of those snipers who can kill somebody from a mile and a half away? Yeah so I borrowed my neighbors' string trimmer, but when I used it some debris caught me in the side of the head.
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Old 12-07-2019, 06:49 PM   #1749
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
Implant for my next generation Tesla pickup.

This one time at band camp...
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Old 12-08-2019, 08:52 AM   #1750
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Griff View Post
Implant for my next generation Tesla pickup.
Ha! That's the one story suggested here that he'll never tell customers as they get their financing sorted.
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Old 12-09-2019, 10:42 PM   #1751
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
Quote:
So far, customers been too polite to ask what the head wound is about, but I've had to explain it to the coworkers repeatedly. Never a straight answer. I had a zipper put in so I can change the battery easier, etc.
Gave a customer a deal so good it literally blew your mind.....


(Had a parasitic conjoined twin removed because they started inflating the finance rates)
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Old 12-10-2019, 02:36 PM   #1752
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
Healing very nicely. Sutures come out tomorrow.

__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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Old 12-10-2019, 09:47 PM   #1753
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
Merry Christmas, Bruce!
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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Old 12-10-2019, 09:48 PM   #1754
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
I don't know why Tapatalk is posting my pics 90 deg counter. Annoying
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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Old 12-11-2019, 02:08 AM   #1755
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
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Posts: 71,105
Tell them your boss hit you upside the head when he found out almost 10% of your customers refuse the undercoating and Scotchgard.
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