Try Not To Get Sick During What is Effectively a Holiday Weekend

[wolf]

Today is my mother's 30th day in the hospital.

Saturday morning I received a panicked phone call from my sister, who lives about 5 hours drive away, "You better get to the hospital, there's something wrong with mom. I talked to her on the phone and she's not making any sense at all. She thinks that you're a baby, I'm dead, and she says Dad is in the room there with her."

My father died in 1983.

My sister was right. There was something wrong with mom. Friday night my mother was given some medication to help her calm down or to sleep or something (her nurse isn't sure why, but it may have been that there are two agitated patients near her room who scream all night, and she may have complained about the noise level). Anyway, she reacted poorly to the medication and was kind of bizarre. It worried me and scared my sister quite a bit ... audiovisual hallucinations, delusions, and disorientation are part of a pretty average day for me, but my sister is a financial manager ... even understanding what's going on it's difficult dealing with this in a family member who has never presented symptoms quite like this. Mom was really bad on Saturday, but was much better, but not totally there yet today. The episodes of confusion were fewer, but she's still not doing totally well, and was very irritable, particularly toward me.

The night nurse, Donna, is a great caregiver. She actually talked to me for about 20 minutes on the phone last night explaining a lot of what was going on, and she was equally helpful tonight in person. New labs were drawn and compared to an earlier set, with no changes noted, and a neurology consult was done ... they continue to assume that it was the Ativan my mom was given. Obviously, she will never get Ativan ever again.

The good news related to my mom for today was that she has started eating real food, if you can call hospital fare "real."

I'm allowed to take her special things that she wants to eat. So far she mentioned peanut butter and jelly, but she was still pretty goofy at the time. Once she's oriented a little better I'll start finding out from her what she really wants, but I will take PBJ along with me tomorrow, just in case.

[footfootfoot]

Wow Wolf. That sounds really scary about your mom. I'm not sure what to say, I can only imagine that is must be very upsetting to be unable to communicate with her. I hope the ativan wears off quickly and she regains her wits.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Obviously, she will never get Ativan ever again.

Not in the hospital but in a couple weeks, when she's hale, hearty & home, she may sneak down to the ghetto to score.

Won't be long before she's home and back in the groove, because we're all willing it.
Are you going to have to move?

[BlueSky_TheMan]

I've had three different relatives that have had a lengthy stay in the hospital (each over at least two weeks). Each one of them experienced dementia to some extent, one that seemed almost identical to MomWolf's experience. The severity of the dementia would rise and fall during their stay in the hospital and continued for about two weeks after going home. I'm happy to say that it subsided and then disappeared in each one of them. I hope you find as I did that it is a temporary condition and all will be well soon.

[wolf]

Today is my mother's 33rd day in the hospital.

(Incidentally, she returned from her little psychotic vacation yesterday. When I went to visit she was happy and chipper, eating lunch, and wondering what all the fuss was about. She has only very vague memories of what has been going on over the last four days)

Her surgeon came to her this morning, and told her that they had done as much for there as they could, and that she would be discharged later this afternoon. His parting comment was, "Thanks for not croaking on me."

Right now I am waiting for a phone call letting me know that my mom is being picked up by an ambulance to be transported to the nursing home I selected for her rehab. It is 2 miles from my house, and on my way to work. It's highly rated, and on their last state survey they were found to have no deficiencies. Basically that means that they got a perfect score on their survey which addresses patient care, documentation, environment of care, safety, and so on. That is very rare.

[Trilby]

You're a good daughter, wolf. You deserve a party. Maybe some Chinese food, too (I am thinking along the lines of when you and friends went to that Chinese place for Chinese New Year...complete with Party Hat!)

Your description of your mom's bad reaction to Ativan brought back many memories...sleepers, anti-anxiety--all meds that can wreck havoc on older people. Sundowners is also a problem, but, doesn't sound like that was the case with your mom.

hang in there. You're doing a great job.

[richlevy]

My father went back into the hospital today. He was resting comfortably in rehab and everything looked good for him to come home in a week or so. Unfortunately, he had a minor complication that required better monitoring than the rehab, so they took him to emergency room, which is next door to the rehab.

From what I hear, everything is stable. Chances are he will be back in rehab in a day or so. I'll be there this weekend to see him wherever he is.

[skysidhe]

my heart goes out to all of you

[limey]

My mother was hospitalised a couple of years ago and also had psychotic attacks. We think these were connected to oxygen shortage and a different environment full of strange goings on. My mum is home and well again and I hope that your mum will be, too, soon Wolf!

[Griff]

I've been through a lot of this stuff with my parents over the last few years, I get the feelings. Peace.

[wolf]

Well, mom is now in the nursing home. Of course, that wasn't easy. She was transferred there last Wednesday (3-AUG-06) and was there for probably about 5 hours. Then she told the nurses aide she was having some mild chest pain, and BAM. They activated their emergency protocols, and the ambulance took mom to the hospital which shares a parking lot with the nursing home.

I received notification of this at work, while I was sitting on a one-to-one with a patient in restraints. I couldn't get the attention of any of my coworkers, so I made a couple of phone calls from the exam room, and established that mom was in good hands, and they were doing an assessment in the ER. As soon as I was able to extricate myself from work, I ran over to the ER, which is about 3 miles from my office.

I stayed there until they made the decision to admit her and then got her settled on the telemetry floor, which happened at about 0900. At that point I had been awake for 26 or 27 hours. My last official conscious act was to call off work for that night. I slept 8 hrs, woke up, visited at the hospital, had dinner and went back to sleep for another 10 hours. I guess the stress finally caught up with me, because I don't sleep like that.

Mom has now been returned to the nursing home with stern instructions from the cardiologist not to tell the nursing home staff that she is having chest pains ... after he got the laugh he wanted, he then explained that he was the coverage cardiologist for the nursing home and that he was giving specific instructions about trying two rounds of nitro and seeing if the pains resolved before they called 911.

In all the transfers, the only actually expensive piece of property that my mother had in her possession has gone missing ... her eyeglasses. She did not take them to the ER, and definitely had them at the nursing home. I know this because I filled out the admission property sheet. Every other disposable plastic basin and bottle of hospital mouthwash is there, but no glasses. Luckily, she only really needs them for reading, and I got her a pair of drug store reading glasses to use for the time being. I filed an incident report, and I hope that they turn up. I asked Saint Anthony for help and everything.

Tomorrow will be her first big day, as her physical rehab will begin.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Talking to my mother, today;
The doctors don't listen to elderly patients.
The doctors choose a prescribed treatment regimen from the menu, according to what the physicians assistant noted in the file.
Even when the doctors ask a question, they only listen for one or two specific answers that would send up a red flag, and dismiss anything else she says.
Trying to tell them codeine, 4 times a day for pain, causes constipation that's a real problem for someone with limited mobility, is fruitless. Even though it was at least partially responsible for two of the hospitalizations, this year.

Of course being a loving, devoted son, my response was, Fer chrissake Ma, you were a nurse for 40 years. You've been telling me the doctors were this way, forever. You know what to expect and you know you have to get their attention, even if you have to kick 'em in the balls.

I envy your patience, Wolf.

[wolf]

Well, she survived the first stint of rehab, but I'm not sure if I will.

She was complaining to me about the process, and I said, "But mom, you have to do this stuff. You can't just lay there."

"I don't want to be here. I will sign myself out and come home."

"But mom, you can't go up the stairs."

"I'll just lay on the sofa."

*sigh* "Mom, I promise you that on the day that you can walk across that parking lot and get into my car, you can come home."

"Don't you dare say things like that to me!"

"Somebody has to."

On the upside, a small miracle occured.

The social worker responded to the incident report I filed on Saturday by coming in to see my mother. She mentioned that she had "six or eight pairs of glasses in my office. Perhaps your daughter would look at them and see if she could identify yours."

Perhaps I could, but would it have killed her to put them on a tray and bring them down to show my mom?

I was kicked out of the room by the wound care specialist, and ambled down to the social worker's office. Of course, she wasn't there. But the door was wide open, and as I stood there, I noticed the glitter of lenses atop her filing cabinet. So I stepped into the room to take a better look. There were indeed six or eight pairs of eyeglasses. I looked through them and did not see my mom's frames. I was about to leave the office when I noticed an eyeglass case.

Yes.

The one with a contrasting color address label front and center on it, with my mom's name and address. My business card was inside the case, along with the glasses.

I guess you don't have to read to be a social worker anymore.

On the other hand, I am the one who asked Saint Anthony to return the glasses, so it's only right that I'm the one who actually found them.

I now have the "good" glasses at home. My mother has three pairs of the finest reading glasses Walmart had to offer. $7.96, for all three. That's $2.65 a pair, to save you from doing the math. These can be lost, run over with a wheelchair, or taken away in the bedsheets to the commercial laundry and I won't care.

[LabRat]

Originally Posted by wolf

{el cheapo glasses} can be lost, run over with a wheelchair, or taken away in the bedsheets to the commercial laundry and I won't care.

Of course, none of these things will happen, and they will be around forever. We all know that you only lose the things you really like

Was on vacation last week, and just had a chance to check in. I am really glad to hear that it seems you are on the downward side of this. Good luck with the recouperation. A virtual hug to you both.

[Iggy]

And the battle continues... it sounds like you have your hands full. At least you got to take a short break to do lots of sleeping. Apparently you needed it. Good luck to you and your mom. Things will probably stay difficult, but you can handle it. One day at a time... that is how I get through it.

It is my grandmother that I have to deal with in that respect. My mom died at a young age (43) of a heart attack, so now my grandmother is my stand in mom. And let me tell you, we have had our share of hospital and rehab stays. Good luck to you and yours.