Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 379

xoxoxoBruce · 12-14-2019, 01:35 AM

Breakfast...

Gravdigr · 12-15-2019, 03:20 PM

Bravo.

lumberjim · 12-26-2019, 09:57 AM

There's a new book about living with a small penis. A man asked the librarian if they had a copy. She said she thought so, but wasn't sure if it was in yet.

Diaphone Jim · 12-26-2019, 12:16 PM

Is this humorous?
Well it would be humorous if this guy was not who he is and was not talking to young people. And maybe was not so long.
No, it is scary and sad.
And hard to believe it is real.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-VI5NWRl2E

xoxoxoBruce · 12-26-2019, 01:50 PM

Nope not funny, sad.

Diaphone Jim · 01-11-2020, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diaphone Jim

Is this humorous?
Well it would be humorous if this guy was not who he is and was not talking to young people. And maybe was not so long.
No, it is scary and sad.
And hard to believe it is real.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-VI5NWRl2E

For some reason (probably the way I linked it) this video opens halfway through Trump's pitiful speech.
If you have the time, watch it all the way through. If you have any questions about wind, just call him up.

Gravdigr · 12-26-2019, 02:40 PM

Not biting.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-08-2020, 11:39 PM

Brexit stamps...

Diaphone Jim · 01-11-2020, 03:05 PM

This is really a sad story except for the bewildering last line.
A few days ago a woman near Bakersfield was found shot and a hunt for her son was initiated. They had a description of his car and the cops were pretty sure he was heading for Las Vegas.
After a couple of hours, the car was found parked alongside I 15 near the Nevada state line. For some reason a "high risk stop" was ordered and officers from four or five jurisdictions showed up.
Shooting (described as from all personnel involved) followed and the highway was closed for 19 hours. This road carries around 45,000 vehicles per day and many had to spend the night with no input from the highway patrol. Several families were trapped and many ran out of gas.
Not unexpectedly, follow-up details have been hard to find except that:
"With the vehicle surrounded, the suspect shot himself and officers returned fire."

Clodfobble · 01-11-2020, 04:29 PM

That happened at the house across the street from ours, about 15-ish years ago. Dude was having a mental health crisis and threatening suicide (which apparently was common for him), wife was out and called the cops to check on him. A beat officer knocked on the door and a single shot was fired.

12 hours, 1 SWAT team, and an evacuated street later, they finally stormed the house to find that the one shot had been the guy committing suicide. He hadn't even known it was a cop at the door.

BigV · 01-16-2020, 02:13 PM

A young American man moves to the Shetland Isles. Unbeknownst to him, the Shetland peoples are quite reserved, and no-one visits him for three months.

One stormy night, there's a loud knock at the door. He opens the door to the sight of a huge, fiery-haired man with a thick beard. With an accent equally as thick, the visitor says, "I've come to invite ye to a party."

"Wonderful," says the American, "I'd love to go!"

"I must warn ye, lad. The drinks will be flowin' aplenty."

"That's no problem, I've been known to enjoy a strong scotch now and again," replies the American.

"They'll likely be a fight too," says the bearded man. "Where there's drinkin' and dancin' there's always a fight."

"I'm not worried, I was middleweight champion in boxing back in the navy. I'm sure I can hold my own."

"Alright, lad. But one last thing. There's likely to be sex involved too. Hairy-arsed, drunken sex."

The American smirks. "Well, after being alone for so many months, that's not out of the question either. One question though: what should I wear?"

The big man chuckles and replies, "Ah, come as you are, it's just gonna be you and me."

Gravdigr · 01-16-2020, 02:41 PM

Apologies if this is a repeat:

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xoxoxoBruce · 01-23-2020, 01:07 AM

I remember some of these statement. Hell, I probably made some of them.

xoxoxoBruce · 02-19-2020, 12:22 AM

At least it's red...

xoxoxoBruce · 02-21-2020, 12:24 AM

Fake news...

12-14-2019, 01:35 AM	#1
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Breakfast... Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

12-15-2019, 03:20 PM	#2
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Bravo. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-26-2019, 09:57 AM	#3
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	There's a new book about living with a small penis. A man asked the librarian if they had a copy. She said she thought so, but wasn't sure if it was in yet. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-26-2019, 01:50 PM	#5
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Nope not funny, sad. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

12-26-2019, 02:40 PM	#7
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Not biting. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-26-2019, 12:16 PM	#4
Diaphone Jim Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 2,122	Is this humorous? Well it would be humorous if this guy was not who he is and was not talking to young people. And maybe was not so long. No, it is scary and sad. And hard to believe it is real. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-VI5NWRl2E

01-08-2020, 11:39 PM	#8
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Brexit stamps... Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-11-2020, 03:05 PM	#9
Diaphone Jim Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 2,122	This is really a sad story except for the bewildering last line. A few days ago a woman near Bakersfield was found shot and a hunt for her son was initiated. They had a description of his car and the cops were pretty sure he was heading for Las Vegas. After a couple of hours, the car was found parked alongside I 15 near the Nevada state line. For some reason a "high risk stop" was ordered and officers from four or five jurisdictions showed up. Shooting (described as from all personnel involved) followed and the highway was closed for 19 hours. This road carries around 45,000 vehicles per day and many had to spend the night with no input from the highway patrol. Several families were trapped and many ran out of gas. Not unexpectedly, follow-up details have been hard to find except that: "With the vehicle surrounded, the suspect shot himself and officers returned fire."

01-11-2020, 04:29 PM	#10
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	That happened at the house across the street from ours, about 15-ish years ago. Dude was having a mental health crisis and threatening suicide (which apparently was common for him), wife was out and called the cops to check on him. A beat officer knocked on the door and a single shot was fired. 12 hours, 1 SWAT team, and an evacuated street later, they finally stormed the house to find that the one shot had been the guy committing suicide. He hadn't even known it was a cop at the door. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

01-16-2020, 02:13 PM	#11
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	A young American man moves to the Shetland Isles. Unbeknownst to him, the Shetland peoples are quite reserved, and no-one visits him for three months. One stormy night, there's a loud knock at the door. He opens the door to the sight of a huge, fiery-haired man with a thick beard. With an accent equally as thick, the visitor says, "I've come to invite ye to a party." "Wonderful," says the American, "I'd love to go!" "I must warn ye, lad. The drinks will be flowin' aplenty." "That's no problem, I've been known to enjoy a strong scotch now and again," replies the American. "They'll likely be a fight too," says the bearded man. "Where there's drinkin' and dancin' there's always a fight." "I'm not worried, I was middleweight champion in boxing back in the navy. I'm sure I can hold my own." "Alright, lad. But one last thing. There's likely to be sex involved too. Hairy-arsed, drunken sex." The American smirks. "Well, after being alone for so many months, that's not out of the question either. One question though: what should I wear?" The big man chuckles and replies, "Ah, come as you are, it's just gonna be you and me." __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

01-16-2020, 02:41 PM	#12
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Apologies if this is a repeat: __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

01-23-2020, 01:07 AM	#13
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	I remember some of these statement. Hell, I probably made some of them. Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

02-19-2020, 12:22 AM	#14
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	At least it's red... Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

02-21-2020, 12:24 AM	#15
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Fake news... Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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