Not much time left...and I miss my parents...

[pensive pam]

Congrats to the community. You WIN. I wanted things to be so much different for my life. Today was easter adn i was too ashamed toi call home. ashamed of who i am. Ashamed I could not get the job done. ...so be it...i guess.

I know how I am viewed on here. i see what is written. i AM a loser. and am low on food and money. i see what little I have. not much to see. i came here because of someone telling me to. i know i am looked at as a 'troller' person. my circumstances are real...

things got out of hand in my life. i wish i could blame the econmy. but i will take the blame. please do not ever say i was not honest about my being. do you know what it is like deciding to spend money on food or medicine .... when yuo can not buy both???

so please do not evr call me a fraud. most of you will never knwo...and i hope you do not ever have to know what it is like - even those on here who tried to destry my soul.

yes, i lost the gotham's writer contest. she was better. and yes, i did get banned from cafepharma. i was her on that site. howmuch more can one bare their soul to an anonymous website????

no of you care. so if you do not like what I post then let me be...just let me go. a life of pain. a life of mutilation and regret.

Pam.