i've avoided this long enough...

[melidasaur]

I've avoided talking to you all about this long enough... I respect many of you for insightful comments and suggestions, so away I go.

I just graduated from law school and prior to completion, I decided that the practice of law really isn't for me, so I decided that I wouldn't take the bar exam. However, since there are opportunities out there for people with law degrees or legal experience, I thought I would be okay. And there is stuff out there, I'm finding it and applying for it - BUT it seems that no one is calling.

Mr. Melidasaur, while supportive and says he understands, really doesn't. He always has a job, everyone in his field loves him and he really never has to worry because there is a need for what he does. Because he is the one that usually has amazing opportunities and I don't have any thing to bring to the table, I end up in places like Champaign, Illinois, which is very boring, but not as bad as I thought it would be.

This is going to be my first real job. I know it takes a long time, but I'm getting to the point now that i'm feeling like I will never work again and maybe I should just start from scratch. Maybe I don't understand the corporate mentality when it comes to hiring, but in my opinion, if you have a need, fill it and get on with your business.

I know I should be thankful because I've gotten to the place that I'm at with minimal harm to myself or others, but I feel like I'm the only one who has ever felt this way. Have any of you been in this place before or felt this way during a job search?

[Queen of the Ryche]

well Mel, I noticed 5 people have read your post and no one has replied, so I thought I'd throw in my two cents so you know you're not alone out there - Is this your first attempt at entering the corporate world? It can be pretty viscious, until you find the right place with the right people. You might get stuck working somewhere ugly for a little while, just to get the experience to add to your resume. Hang in there - I went througha similar experince, and now have had the same postion fo rabout ten year snad love my job, my co-workers, my boss, my enviroment - and it's nowhere near the field I thought I'd end up in.

Just keep sticking your nose out there - eventually you'll find something good. Good luck - don't give up the fight!!!

[plthijinx]

persistance pays off. i'm now searching for flying jobs but seeing as how i either have the minimum hours for some and not enough for others, that makes it all the harder. i have been persistant in flying. i'll catch a flight whenever i can so that i can get those hours in my book for experience. think of it as an internship. is there any place you can do an internship? how about a contract/placement service? just about every field has one......

[SouthOfNoNorth]

what was it about the legal field and law school that turned you off? i have a buddy that made it through law school and the bar, got his first job at a place (after some trying times) and found out it was a terrible, hostile place to work. basically all of the lawyer stereotypes, agressive behaviour, terrible pay, backstabbing, humiliation, all of the bad. he hated it, and after a while was forced to resign if he wouldn't put in even more hours than he was already working. he went through about a year of unemployment (pittsburgh is bad for law since there are three schools here and the competition is tough) and finally got a job as in house counsel for a bank. it's the best job he's ever had, he's told me. none of the pressure of the other kind of environment.

the reason i ask is, like you said, there are a lot of opportunities for a person with your education that aren't strictly law. in house counsel is just one of them. have you thought about getting an mba? might make you more attractive for a business position, and a person with those kinds of qualifications would be formidable in the business world. i feel for you though, the first job is always the hardest. engineering is the same way, take it from me. good luck to you, and keep your chin up.

[BigV]

Actually, yes. I have felt those things in the midst of a job search. Once I was out of work (underemployed, actually) for about two years. I wouldn't wish it on a snake. It can be a most corrosive influence on a person's well-being. I probably don't need to enumerate the ways in which wanting and not having a job sucks, but here are some, not in special order.

First, you get told "No" a lot. That can be awful. Sometimes the "no" comes in the form of the absence of a reply at all. It's not difficult to internalize all these negative responses and that can lead to trouble. Because if you read more into the "no" than what the prospective employer intended, you can open yourself up to a lot of trouble. I would remind you that the employer is saying, "Thanks, but, no thanks" and not "You're worthless. How could you even waste my time with your pathetic application. I need somebody who knows something, not you, you ignorant gob." Ok, the voices in my head can get carried away, but I don't think I'm alone on this. The trick is to just listen to what the employer's saying, and don't add your own baggage.

There can be considerable value in the refusal. I have had good luck talking to the person who didn't accept me for the position by asking them what were the weak points in my presentation, then taking the appropriate action. News flash--they never sounded like that evil voice in my head. Ask them. It's quite possible they're momentarily inclined to help you out of pity/sympathy for having delivered bad news. And while you're asking, ask them for the name(s) of somebody you can contact next.

Another difficulty in the search process I found is that while I was looking for a "real" job, I was coasting on the stored effort of others. Maybe this is more of a guy thing, but I know it's not exclusively male. I have a need to feel productive, like I'm contributing. And during the search, I did not. But the correct perspective for me was to acknowledge that what I was doing was sowing the seeds of a future bounty. I had to do this part now, so that I could do the other part later. You can't reap before you sow. This step, difficult and unpleasant and seemingly useless is critical. It can not be bypassed.

When I was in school, I learned a ton about computers, and when I went to work, some of it applied, but there were vast unexplored territories of knowledge and behavior and expectation. Work was really, really different than school. Even the process of getting work was unknown to me, and my ignorance about the motivations of a business was an obstacle to me. I sense some of the same vibe in your post:

Maybe I don't understand the corporate mentality when it comes to hiring, but in my opinion, if you have a need, fill it and get on with your business.

Uh, yeah, on paper. But how can you know what hidden factors influence the decision? You only see a single facet of the hiring process. So far, that facet is the one that says "No thanks". But there are many other things happening behind the scenes that directly affect you and this decision that you cannot see or influence. It's good to know as much as you can about the specific instance, but those things that are around the corner or over the horizon are just not knowable, nor can you influence them, nor should you spend much of your energy dwelling on them.

You mention this will be your "first real job". You imply that everything you know about "real jobs" is second hand. Work is, well, different, once you get there. Most of the stuff you know applies, but I mention it because I don't want you to make assumptions that are incorrect and unhelpful to your cause. You can't help being ignorant (no first hand experience, not an insult), but if you're gonna wonder, at least do it in a way that's not destructive to your ego and enthusiasm for the task.

Mr Melidasaur counts big here. The support and comfort a spouse can provide are priceless. I believe you when you say he doesn't really understand. You're right, he doesn't. I will happily refrain from offering free marital advice, which would be worth about twice what you paid for it, but I'll confirm his importance in this process and urge you to talk to each other, often.

As to Mr Melidasaur's job, I would only say, don't make unfair unhelpful comparisons.

You said something that struck me as odd. You said:

...your first real job...never work again...

I'm sure you're not considering retirement at this stage...but I don't get your comment. Just remember, you have considerable experience "learning" and when you compare that to your minimal experience "working" you can get some weird mismatches. Don't compare things that don't belong together.

One more item, this is really a numbers game. You just want one perfect job, but that might take ten or twenty average jobs to find. Ten or twenty average jobs might take fifty or a hundred offers to find. A hundred offers might take a thousand or more applications and interviews. Brace yourself--you're just getting started. Brace yourself, hehehe, I should say "Pace yourself".

You're not your job, don't lose sight of that. And fer cryin out loud, you're definitely not ______________ negative conclusion reached in the process of looking for a job. You're not. You'll find them and they're looking for you. Don't give up. When weary, rest. When told no, learn why. When excited, share. When hired, celebrate. And keep looking, cause it never stops.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I was out of work (officially) from Aug '83 to Jan '85 because I was overqualified for anything I wanted to do and underqualified for the money I wanted to do what I didn't want to do, if that makes sense.

The hiring system seems to be whacked. I've been interviewed by people that never read my resume. I guess they have somebody else that screens them other than the interviewer.

They might frown on you not taking the Bar Exam even if you don't want to pursue a law career. Kind of like....coitus interuptus, if you know what I mean.
I wonder if you passed the bar and then didn't pursue it, if it might look better?

Anyway, looking for a job when you don't have one, whether it's been 5 days or 5 years seems to have a negative effect on recruiters. Networking is always the best way to get into what you like. Actually what you don't like too. Good luck!!!!

[melidasaur]

Thanks Everyone... your thoughts on this mean a lot and I'm taking it all to heart for sure... it's nice to hear someone else's thoughts on the subject.

I'm not totally giving up on the bar exam... I'm thinking about february - just to take it to take it - it's expensive as sin, but it could help in the long run.

[wolf]

Taking the bar exam will make you more marketable in the long run ... even if you don't want to jump into the corporate rat race as such, think about the possibilties of serving as counsel for some organization whose goals you support? (I'm just thinking, it's kind of like going to med school, doing well, but never becoming a doctor)

A friend of mine's mom went back to law school as she was turning 50.

She did this, incidently, to show up her daughter (mom has some issues) who was applying to the same law school. Mom got in. Daughter did not.

Mom has never worked a "real" law job ... but she's done a lot of immigration work (I fought with her a lot about this one because of my position of front door immigration = good, back door immigration = bad ... she was fighting to keep a bunch of well-publicized illegals in the US after a boat ran aground. She has also done a lot of liasion work with in international law regarding a small European nation that is aggressively not French.

[melidasaur]

I just wanted to let you all know that I have an interview on Friday...

[Trilby]

Go get 'em, Tiger!!

[melidasaur]

Originally Posted by Brianna

Go get 'em, Tiger!!

Grrrrrr... Thanks .

[warch]

I'll second Wolf's suggestion to target the work place with the mission that interests you. Legal skills are needed everywhere. I'm coming from the non profit sector and it usually doesnt pay much except in job satisfaction. We've had several interns with law backgrounds.

Good luck with the gig. Do what you want to do, not what others think you should do.

[lookout123]

i'm telling you, we're always looking for a few good...women.

[cowhead]

and champaign Ill doesn't suck so bad... I lived there for a few years growing up... keep yer chin up!! and thanks for not being a lawyer

[warch]

My parents hooked up in Champaign. Hurray for drunken college parties!