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Old 08-05-2013, 01:56 AM   #1
Doctor Wtf
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
I have left The Cellar

Years ago, I joined this band of good-hearted oddballs.

I am now leaving.

A long time ago, there was a funny thread and, thinking she would be amused by the humour, I shared it with my mother. Instead of cutting and pasting the text, I just shared the link.

She decided to start lurking. This has made it impossible for me to share anything personal of myself here, or share anything that I would not want to share with my family, and so has greatly reduced my interaction here. I have told her any number of times I don't like this, but to no avail.

I have also repeatedly made it clear I would not like it if she joined the cellar.

Well, she just did. I am now not all all comfortable interacting here. And nothing can be done about this.

So, fuckit. I'm out. You've (mostly) been great, and have provided me with valuable continuity in my social life over considerable changes and upheavals over the last six years. I'll miss that, and you.

Carry on, good luck with your various lives and challenges and joys.

I'm off to change some Facebook settings so this doesn't happen again.

Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008.
Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.
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Old 08-05-2013, 01:59 AM   #2
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Dystopia
Posts: 13,136
Fuck, what? You're one of the best posters here!
There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
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Old 08-05-2013, 03:54 AM   #3
trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
Awww Zen, i will be very sorry to see the back end of you. What a shame. Are you sure you and your mum cant find some equillibrium? Hmmm...i guess you wont answer that. You dont strike me as the sort to say farewell and then not leave.

Email me some time if you'd like to stay in touch. i will miss you. Xxx
Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber
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Old 08-05-2013, 04:08 AM   #4
Glutton for Gluttony
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 1,409
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Old 08-05-2013, 04:09 AM   #5
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
I can IP ban her if you prefer. That might make the point.
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Old 08-05-2013, 05:00 AM   #6
Old Bunyip
Antagonistic Antagonist
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: South Australia
Posts: 22
Oh Dear, I did not think you minded me joining. I can't remember you asking me not to.You have shown me various posts and we have laughed over them together.

I had no intention of letting it be known we were related or tell anything about you personally.

I will bow out are one of the most interesting and appreciated posters here, whereas I would just nibble around the edges. I can't match your insights or wit and choose not to deprive the Cellar community of them. I am proud of you, Son.

Please don't leave the Cellar, they love you here.

And goodbye to the friends who were welcoming me here.
Love many. Trust few.
Always paddle your own canoe
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Old 08-05-2013, 05:36 AM   #7
still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
There you have it man. You're sticking.
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
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Old 08-05-2013, 07:24 AM   #8
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
I let it slip about this place once when talking to my mom. She got all excited wanting to know the name and web address, and I shut her right down. I was like George on Seinfeld, with my worlds colliding.
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:43 AM   #9
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods
Posts: 6,402

This announcement is completely out of character for Z,
and I'm absolutely convinced that the Obama administration
is intercepting all of Z's transmissions from Oz.

It is a sock puppet controlling this thread due to Z's creatlon
of the PRISM thread.

Z's intellect, sense of humor, and purity-of-heart will overcome,
and his postings will resume soon once UT sorts out the errant IP addresses.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:01 AM   #10
Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
this looks unfixable to me.


the lurking is the core problem, the joining was just the last straw. ip bans can't prohibit lurking. I will miss you ZenGum, and your departure will be a tremendous loss to the cellar as a whole. I hope some accommodation can be made to your satisfaction, but I can't think of anything I can do to make things better.

I don't know many places my kids hang out, save facebook, where I am their "fb friend". what kinds of filters, if any, are placed on the feeds I see, those are up to them. there have been a couple other feelers/casual inquiries, like instagram, etc when it came up in conversation. I don't follow my adult kids very closely online, commenting ... once a month perhaps, viewing a couple times a month? I love my kids dearly, but I like them to have their own lives; FUCK, that's been my prime directive as a parent (and uncle and youth leader/coach/teacher) all my adult life. they'll give me what they think I need to know. and that goes both ways--they're not my fetlife fellow kinksters, right? they're not on my okcupid wishlist. it's a matter of mutual respect, they've learned from my example. I hope I never find myself in this situation, as a parent or as a child.

I accept that this forum is public, just as a coffee shop is public--the analogy has proven apt many, many times. If I knew my kids didn't want me to hang out in the same coffee shop they hung out at... I don't know. I was going to say, "I'd respect that", but then I thought, what if they had the best coffee in town, what if it was most convenient for me, or most economical, etc etc. I could visit when they weren't there, blah blah blah. I guess the analogy does have its limits. my point is that I want my kids' to be happy, to feel respected more than I want my pleasure of being so close to them. there are some things that I used to do that I just can't anymore, kiss them, cuddle them, pet them and coo over them. that used to be very gratifying--when they were babies. it's just not right now, despite my memories of how wonderful that new baby smell was. they let me hang around just as much and just as close as *they* want. if I encroach further, they'll just retreat.

Old Bunyip, it turns out, sadly, that your math about your signature was right after all.
Be Just and Fear Not.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:12 AM   #11
a beautiful fool
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,504
huh.. I've had the opposite experience.

i've told my sister, mother, brother, father etc about this place for years. forwarded links to threads, etc....

at this point they know what I'm talking about when I say 'the cellar'... and their eyes no longer glaze over... but none have made any attempt to join, to my knowledge.

also.... I didn't know we had a Bunyip! My siamese cat was named Bunyip. he was the best cat.
There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:12 PM   #12
Back in 10
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,684
Wow this makes me sad for both involved.
Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:32 PM   #13
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
Me too
There's only so much punishment a man can take in pursuit of punani. - Sundae
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Old 08-05-2013, 01:13 PM   #14
infinite monkey
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
HarshGum is Harsh.

It's not like you share your sexcapades, or addictions, or your pyramid schemes, or the number of hobos you've murdered. I mean, really, not very many of your 'close friends' here even have a clue what you look like. Mostly you make puns and comment on current issues, and occasionally remind us what is wrong with America.

Sorry ZenMom. I hope you can forgive him on your deathbed.

As for me, I talk about the Cellar to my family, but I don't really use the name much, and they don't know who I am here...and if there IS anything I've posted that is personal about my family, and could be recognized, and I don't want them to hear it or I'd just TELL THEM, I've posted it anonymously, just in case.
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Old 08-05-2013, 02:04 PM   #15
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
Originally Posted by jimhelm View Post
huh.. I've had the opposite experience.

i've told my sister, mother, brother, father etc about this place for years. forwarded links to threads, etc....

at this point they know what I'm talking about when I say 'the cellar'... and their eyes no longer glaze over...
Ditto. Mum has come round to the idea that y'all are real people because of the GTGs and the help I have acknowleged for many years now. And I have photos with me in them, so if she knew the term catfish she wouldn't worry about that either.
But she'd never come here. I I am very glad of that. She has her people to vent to, I have mine. And also I'd hate to hurt her with some of my past posts; posting when tired and emotional doesn't bear sober scrutiny.

I tried to get my bro to join, but he has his own forums to play with. I suspect he uses them more for information exchange than social support.
There are things on here I would never say to him, but if asked I would admit them. He has instructions on what to do if I am unexpectedly hospitalised or I die.

Mum has Limey's landline and Dana's mobile, but I wouldn't want the onus on them to spread news like that.
Originally Posted by Nirvana View Post
Wow this makes me sad for both involved.
Me too.
Originally Posted by DanaC View Post
Me too
Me three.

Nothing at all against Bunyip, but I do hope we get to keep Zen.
Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
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