Is he cripplingly shy, or gay?

hot_pastrami · 06-04-2003, 10:58 AM

Another thread on a similar subject made me think to post this. I have a very good friend, let's call him Dwight, who I've known for a little over three years. The two of us have been splitting apartments for the past two and a half years, and we would probably have continued to do so well into the future, except that I've bought a house and moved in with my fiancée.

Dwight is a nice Book-of-Mormon-thumping went-on-a-mission-and-made-mom-and-dad-proud go-to-church-every-Sunday Mormon. I try not to hold that against him, though, as it's pretty damn common here in Utah. He's good looking, has a sense of humor, he's responsible, loves kids... many of the things that would make him attractive to women. But he doesn't date, and does a pretty convincing job of making it look like he's too shy to talk to girls... but here's why I think it's more than that:

1. He's 29 years old.
2. He's a virgin.
3. He's had ONE girlfriend. EVER. And it's a girl who was a complete headcase, which he "stole" from me. They dated about three months before he broke it off.
4. Aside from the girlfriend, he's been on about four other dates with girls IN HIS WHOLE LIFE.
5. On two occasions, I arranged dates for him with nice, attractive girls which he claimed to be interested in, and he never followed through on either of the dates.
6. He talks about wanting companionship, but does nothing about it.
7. He has a number of mild mannerisms one often sees in homosexual people... the stance, a way of talking, the clothes he wears, etc.
8. When the subject of homosexuality comes up, he goes to great lengths to make sure everyone in the room is aware that he is heterosexual... even though nobody was suggesting otherwise.

I personally think that he's gay, but so deeply Mormon that he won't even admit it to himself. Even if he did, he would never come out in the open about it, because it would break his parents' hearts. He's a good friend, and if he did come out of the closet, I'd be happy to help him to find a man... I just dont want him to live a lonely and unrewarding life.

Has anybody else had a friend like mine? Were you able to help them find direction at all? Any suggestions?

06-04-2003, 10:58 AM	#1
hot_pastrami I am meaty Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Salt Lake City, UT Posts: 1,119	Is he cripplingly shy, or gay? Another thread on a similar subject made me think to post this. I have a very good friend, let's call him Dwight, who I've known for a little over three years. The two of us have been splitting apartments for the past two and a half years, and we would probably have continued to do so well into the future, except that I've bought a house and moved in with my fiancée. Dwight is a nice Book-of-Mormon-thumping went-on-a-mission-and-made-mom-and-dad-proud go-to-church-every-Sunday Mormon. I try not to hold that against him, though, as it's pretty damn common here in Utah. He's good looking, has a sense of humor, he's responsible, loves kids... many of the things that would make him attractive to women. But he doesn't date, and does a pretty convincing job of making it look like he's too shy to talk to girls... but here's why I think it's more than that: 1. He's 29 years old. 2. He's a virgin. 3. He's had ONE girlfriend. EVER. And it's a girl who was a complete headcase, which he "stole" from me. They dated about three months before he broke it off. 4. Aside from the girlfriend, he's been on about four other dates with girls IN HIS WHOLE LIFE. 5. On two occasions, I arranged dates for him with nice, attractive girls which he claimed to be interested in, and he never followed through on either of the dates. 6. He talks about wanting companionship, but does nothing about it. 7. He has a number of mild mannerisms one often sees in homosexual people... the stance, a way of talking, the clothes he wears, etc. 8. When the subject of homosexuality comes up, he goes to great lengths to make sure everyone in the room is aware that he is heterosexual... even though nobody was suggesting otherwise. I personally think that he's gay, but so deeply Mormon that he won't even admit it to himself. Even if he did, he would never come out in the open about it, because it would break his parents' hearts. He's a good friend, and if he did come out of the closet, I'd be happy to help him to find a man... I just dont want him to live a lonely and unrewarding life. Has anybody else had a friend like mine? Were you able to help them find direction at all? Any suggestions? __________________ Hot Pastrami!

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