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   Undertoad  Tuesday Nov 7 12:29 PM

November 7, 2006: Yet another new record big burger



All hail the new king: via the Clinton Station Diner, in New Jersey, we have a 105-pound hamburger. The record returns to the USA!



Tagged as the 8th Wonder of the World by its makers. But uh, I don't think I would actually attempt to eat it.



That meat looks pretty dense - maybe that's their secret. And it's not clear whether this is a Guinness record, because there's no mention of anyone officially certifying it.

Unveiling of the 8th Wonder photo gallery



Elspode  Tuesday Nov 7 12:42 PM

Why do I find it disturbing that there exists an association of competetive eaters?



glatt  Tuesday Nov 7 12:47 PM

That doesn't look very good.



Emrikol  Tuesday Nov 7 01:28 PM

Is that Escherichia coli I smell?

That middle sure does look pink




Trilby  Tuesday Nov 7 01:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elspode
Why do I find it disturbing that there exists an association of competetive eaters?
Because you so desperately wish to be their leader and Champion? I only say that coz I wish I was their leader and Champion.

Pure projection.



Elspode  Tuesday Nov 7 01:34 PM

No...I'm more the Association of Competetive Godless Fornicators and Harlots type of guy, I think.



Sundae  Tuesday Nov 7 01:36 PM

It appears to be surrounded by a litter of burger puppies



Trilby  Tuesday Nov 7 01:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elspode
No...I'm more the Association of Competetive Godless Fornicators and Harlots type of guy, I think.
Ahh! A man who is 'asking for it'!

Your kind are my favorite.

I have gone out, a possessed witch,
haunting the black air, braver at night;
dreaming evil, I have done my hitch
over the plain houses, light by light:
lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind.
A woman like that is not a woman, quite.
I have been her kind.


Clodfobble  Tuesday Nov 7 02:00 PM

That one doesn't look nearly as big as the one from Thailand. What did they do, mix some lead shot into the meat?



Elspode  Tuesday Nov 7 02:12 PM

Well, Bri...now I'm confused.

Good witch or Bad witch?



Trilby  Tuesday Nov 7 02:36 PM

I'm a Good Witch--with a Bad Witch steak (is hereditary flaw)



Sundae  Tuesday Nov 7 03:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brianna
I'm a Good Witch--with a Bad Witch steak (is hereditary flaw)
Steakwich?


SteveDallas  Tuesday Nov 7 03:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elspode
Why do I find it disturbing that there exists an association of competetive eaters?
Actually, if I understand correctly, there's more than one. (Or there's one, and then there are independent competitors bucking the system.) If you're interested, Horsemen of the Esophagus is worth a read.


sproglet  Tuesday Nov 7 04:25 PM

Yet again showing utter disdain for an animal's life by turning it into a stinking joke burger.

FFS have they nothing better to do?



Undertoad  Tuesday Nov 7 04:42 PM

Well that's IotD for you! When we see a nice picture of an animal, we want to eat it. When we see a nice picture of food, we want it back in the animal form!



Elspode  Tuesday Nov 7 05:28 PM

As long as it all got eaten, what's the problem with it being one giant burger or a whole lot of smaller ones?



xoxoxoBruce  Tuesday Nov 7 07:00 PM

I'll take one........and supersize it.



wolf  Tuesday Nov 7 07:40 PM

Dude in the middle picture looks a bit like Sycamore, back when he had hair.



xant  Tuesday Nov 7 09:17 PM

Where the heck do you get a giant burger slicer?



seakdivers  Tuesday Nov 7 09:21 PM

We were at a bbq get together last month in Georgia, and one of our new friends made a 10lb burger -and that was big enough! I couldn't imagine 100lbs...



SPUCK  Wednesday Nov 8 06:11 AM

I can no way believe that amounts to 100lbs! It looks like about 50 pounds max! I used to load and unload several tons of burger meat a day in 60 pound frozen boxes. The boxes were the size of that hamburger! I'm thinking the lead shot is making more and more sense. Or they weighed the platter too.

Look at this one on their web site they say it's 50 lbs... Looks the same to me..
http://www.clintonstationdiner.com/mtolympusburger.htm



Undertoad  Wednesday Nov 8 08:46 AM

The Sun offers a story on a Heart Attack Grill in Tempe Arizona, which offers an 8000 calorie, 4 patty burger with bacon and cheese, and sexy nurses to cart you off in a wheelchair if you have a heart attack while eating. It's not a record but at least worth a link.



Ibby  Wednesday Nov 8 09:20 AM

Ohhhh man, you DICK, thats fucking taunting me...
I've been having crazy meat cravings the past week or so...

Fuck.

EDIT: does it count as eating meat if it's part of yourself? If I gnawed off a finger or two (one of my pick-hand fingers, I dont need all of them), would that be not-okay as far as vegetarianism goes?



mrnoodle  Wednesday Nov 8 11:05 AM

That's still bad, because you will at some point want to play flamenco, just to try it out. Most versions of La Maleguena only needs a thumb and middle finger, but if you go any further, you will wish for the ring finger as well.

If you get really hard up, toes are almost indistinguishable in flavor from fingers, and offer the bonus of toe cheese.



Sundae  Wednesday Nov 8 11:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrnoodle
If you get really hard up, toes are almost indistinguishable in flavor from fingers, and offer the bonus of toe cheese.


My mouth has just filled with pre-sick spit thanks to you


Clodfobble  Wednesday Nov 8 02:55 PM

You need your toes more than you realize for balance. I knew a guy who lost just one toe and he lost his balance all the time. Personally I'd go for a slice of thigh, there'd still be plenty left over when you were done.



xoxoxoBruce  Wednesday Nov 8 08:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SPUCK
I can no way believe that amounts to 100lbs! It looks like about 50 pounds max! I used to load and unload several tons of burger meat a day in 60 pound frozen boxes. The boxes were the size of that hamburger! I'm thinking the lead shot is making more and more sense. Or they weighed the platter too.

Look at this one on their web site they say it's 50 lbs... Looks the same to me..
http://www.clintonstationdiner.com/mtolympusburger.htm
You were handling frozen raw meat which is larger. Probably all beef too, and we don't know what's in this puppy.

The best burgers are not all beef, no matter what the ads say.


CaliforniaMama  Thursday Nov 9 02:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce
The best burgers are not all beef, no matter what the ads say.
Dare I ask what makes the best burgers?


breakingnews  Thursday Nov 9 02:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ibram
Ohhhh man, you DICK, thats fucking taunting me...
I've been having crazy meat cravings the past week or so...

Fuck.

EDIT: does it count as eating meat if it's part of yourself? If I gnawed off a finger or two (one of my pick-hand fingers, I dont need all of them), would that be not-okay as far as vegetarianism goes?
come back to the dark side ... you are just torturing yourself. think about sinking your teeth into a greasy duck leg or a grilled sausage at the night market.

on a sidenote, I've yet to find a remotely decent burger in Taipei. and why does it not surprise me that that 105-pound mess is made in NJ?


SPUCK  Thursday Nov 9 04:58 AM

The best burgers have some onions and soy-protein extender. Seriously! They really taste good! The soy-protein extender has no flavor but adds juicyness as it absorbs water. It sorta spaces out the meat. Kinda like a little bun in between the meat particles...

Now the "defatted beef fatty tissue additive"? Count me out.



breakingnews  Thursday Nov 9 05:08 AM

Re: soy-protein extender - interesting! I never knew. I'll have to keep that in mind.

However, I find beef is best when handled the least. I used to add onions, and sometimes even a raw egg, but after mashing up the burger meat, it got all dry and not very tasty.



tw  Thursday Nov 9 07:25 AM

Where is this Clinton Diner? Is it in Clinton NJ in Hunterdon County? Been to Clinton. Don't ever remember a diner.



breakingnews  Thursday Nov 9 11:25 AM

http://www.clintonstationdiner.com/directions.htm

I've definitely seen this place before. It's at that messy junction of Rt 78 and 31 (doesn't 202 snake through there too?).



Trilby  Thursday Nov 9 11:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sproglet
Yet again showing utter disdain for an animal's life by turning it into a stinking joke burger.

FFS have they nothing better to do?
I think it's adorable how sproglet is so eagle-eyed when it comes to giant novelty food. I rarely see sproglet anywhere else. I think she (he?) has a thing for humorous, over-sized joke food. Maybe her daddy was Mayor McCheese?


Undertoad  Thursday Nov 9 12:07 PM

Is there a town in New Jersey that doesn't have a diner?



xoxoxoBruce  Thursday Nov 9 09:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliforniaMama
Dare I ask what makes the best burgers?
When I was a lad,...... no, Lincoln was not in the White House......yet......no self respecting cook would make a meatloaf or burgers with anything but a mixture of beef, pork and veal.


Ibby  Thursday Nov 9 10:23 PM

I'd say the BEST burgers are made by the father of a good friend of mine, Mr. Krabek...

Fry an entire pack of bacon, then cook the burgers in the bacon fat, and add Montreal Steak Seasoning to the meat.

mmmmmmmmmmm...



tw  Thursday Nov 9 11:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce
When I was a lad,...... no, Lincoln was not in the White House......yet......
No. White House is the town one exit east of Clinton.


xoxoxoBruce  Friday Nov 10 12:06 AM

Fess up, tw....this election made you giddy, didn't it?



vocalperk  Friday Nov 10 02:56 AM

IFOCE

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elspode
Why do I find it disturbing that there exists an association of competetive eaters?
There is also the larger and more widely known IFOCE (International Federation of Competitive Eating). The current reigning world champion is an incredible guy named Takeru Kobayashi from Japan. The previous hot dog record at the Nathan's Famous world hot dog eating contest on the Fourth of July at Coney Island (made by Americans) was something like 25 in 12 minutes. Kobayashi came and obliterated the competition by eating almost 54 hotdogs in 12 minutes (4.5 dogs per minute without slowing down). He pioneered the "Solomon method" - breaking the dog in two to speed his eating. There are actual ways to train and techniques to this stuff.

The president of IFOCE and emcee of most competitive eating events George Shea is half the entertainment. He coins the eaters "gurgitators" and "Horsemen of the Esophagus" etc....

This explains a little: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/20060...etitive-eating


BigV  Friday Nov 10 12:10 PM

I'm not a card carrying member, but I am the undefeated, three time Champion of the Chinook's Oyster Olympics!

I think I have the video of my winning performance from this year around here somewhere. That would be appropriate for the dwellarvid thread.



breakingnews  Friday Nov 10 02:48 PM

How many oysters did you suck back? How bad was your diarrhea afterwards?

Sonya Thomas, the 100-pound Korean who is Kobayashi's closest rival in the Coney Island hot dog gorging, prides herself on this record:

Quote:
* - March 20, 2005, Metairie, LA, Acme Oysters: 46 Dozen (552) in 10 minutes, breaking my previous mark of 36 dozen set last year; a few minutes later also set an endurance record of eating 624 Oysters.
Forty-six dozen. In 10 minutes. Good god.


barefoot serpent  Friday Nov 10 02:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by breakingnews
How bad was your diarrhea afterwards?



Elspode  Friday Nov 10 03:02 PM




BigV  Friday Nov 10 06:08 PM

That's some funny shit.[/rimshot]


Actually, it was more like the 100 meter dash. It was a speed event. A dozen oysters in about four seconds. Without hands. I'll find the video.



sproglet  Saturday Nov 11 09:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brianna
I think it's adorable how sproglet is so eagle-eyed when it comes to giant novelty food. I rarely see sproglet anywhere else. I think she (he?) has a thing for humorous, over-sized joke food. Maybe her daddy was Mayor McCheese?
Well, we all have our niche to fill.

Can I suggest that the next monstrosity to get spunked-up in the name of disposable income and tacky self-promotion, includes a photograph of it getting rammed up the cook's arse. Now that would be adorable.


CaliforniaMama  Saturday Nov 11 10:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV
A dozen oysters in about four seconds. Without hands.
I have to admit I'm not a shellfish fan, but how does one eat a dozen oysters without hands? Is someone pouring them down your throat or are you lapping them up?

Inquiring minds . . .


Trilby  Saturday Nov 11 11:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sproglet
Well, we all have our niche to fill.

Can I suggest that the next monstrosity to get spunked-up in the name of disposable income and tacky self-promotion, includes a photograph of it getting rammed up the cook's arse. Now that would be adorable.
I would pay to see that.

What about the incredible expense of the monarchy? Wouldn't it be better to turn Buckingham Palace into a home for unwed mothers or something?


xoxoxoBruce  Saturday Nov 11 11:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sproglet
Well, we all have our niche to fill.

Can I suggest that the next monstrosity to get spunked-up in the name of disposable income and tacky self-promotion, includes a photograph of it getting rammed up the cook's arse. Now that would be adorable.
But sproglet, the bottom line is it's still food, it gets eaten and in some cases by needy people for free. What's wrong with having fun with it too?


sproglet  Saturday Nov 11 05:07 PM

It's crap food, bad for the planet, bad for humans, full of saturated fats and red meat. It gives out all the wrong signals as far as I'm concerned, plus, whomever queues up to eat a slice of cold joke burger needs their head squeezing IMHO.

BTW the Monarchy pay taxes and are one of the largest employers in the UK. Plus the Queen gives me the right fucking horn so she can stay put as far as I'm concerned.



Trilby  Saturday Nov 11 05:13 PM

I've no idea what the 'right fucking horn' is, so I'll disengage from that.

Uh--till I know what that is, exactly.

Lots and lots of food is crap food. We all need to eat better, more organic vegs, more grains. I've no quarrel with that. I will say that it is infinitely better to eat under-cooked asparagus than to go hungry, wouldn't you?

Ah, though, perhaps you subscribe to Jonathan Swift's idea?



Trilby  Saturday Nov 11 05:18 PM

PS--still, the Monarchy is a waste. A. Complete. Waste. So, they pay taxes, who doesn't? They have loads of land holdings, etc. and wtf is Charles doing? Anyway--we ALL have our indulgences. Why begrudge an company some publicity?



sproglet  Saturday Nov 11 05:38 PM

Charles is a wacky loon from yesteryear and is mostly harmless, plus I agree with his ideas on organic farming and architecture.

Are you following me about?

RFH = Woody



Trilby  Saturday Nov 11 07:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sproglet
Are you following me about?

RFH = Woody
YES, I am!

Kidding, sweetheart!~


xoxoxoBruce  Saturday Nov 11 08:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sproglet
It's crap food, bad for the planet, bad for humans, full of saturated fats and red meat. It gives out all the wrong signals as far as I'm concerned, plus, whomever queues up to eat a slice of cold joke burger needs their head squeezing IMHO.
Humans are omnivores. There is no bad food, unless it's poisonous. Oh, and save your breath on the whole meat is poison thing.

I agree that too many people limit their choices of what they will/should eat. Yes, they are media misled in some cases and available choices in others, but that doesn't make it bad food. No reason to get bunched up panties over the world's biggest burger or the world's biggest pile of bean sprouts, it's all in fun, not a guide to better living.


Clodfobble  Saturday Nov 11 09:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sproglet
RFH = Woody
Just to be sure here, are you saying the Queen of England arouses you?




milkfish  Sunday Nov 12 01:16 PM

Not many in this country are willing to say as much about our head of state.



sproglet  Sunday Nov 12 05:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble
Just to be sure here, are you saying the Queen of England arouses you?

It's the subtle mix of vulnerability and power that does it I think, and those gorgeous hats.

I'm not totally against red meat I just don't understand why people eat so much of it all the time. Give your colons a break every once in while, Jeeze


tw  Sunday Nov 12 09:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce
Fess up, tw....this election made you giddy, didn't it?
I was scheduled to be in White House when I ended up getting reposed in Clinton. Coolant system failure.

Yes, real story. Any similarities to recent events are coincidental and Freudian.


xoxoxoBruce  Sunday Nov 12 10:10 PM

Now that's spooky.
sabotage?
Homeland Security read you posts?
UG turn you in?



elSicomoro  Wednesday Nov 29 02:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf
Dude in the middle picture looks a bit like Sycamore, back when he had hair.
Except I'm way hotter than that dude. And I have hair again...see here, though it's longer now.


BigV  Friday Mar 23 12:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV View Post
I'm not a card carrying member, but I am the undefeated, three time Champion of the Chinook's Oyster Olympics!

I think I have the video of my winning performance from this year around here somewhere. That would be appropriate for the dwellarvid thread.
I won my qualifying round (natch...) two weeks ago and this year's championship round is today, 6 pm PDT, at Chinook's at Fisherman's Terminal. I expect something of an entourage this year--BK, KK, KM, PH, EV, TR, all said they'd show up for the competition. I told them to get there early, because at 6:00:05 I'll already be on my victory lap. Perhaps one of them will have one of them newfangled video-capable phones.


BigV  Friday Mar 23 04:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliforniaMama View Post
I have to admit I'm not a shellfish fan, but how does one eat a dozen oysters without hands? Is someone pouring them down your throat or are you lapping them up?

Inquiring minds . . .
Here is a very thorough answer to your question.


btw, I found this (unanswered) question as I was updating the status of this year's competition.


Griff  Friday Mar 23 08:00 PM

Big should we put a Cellar t-shirt on you and have you eat these absurd burgers on camera for our amusement or a you just an oyster man?



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