White Elephant

monster · 02-26-2006, 11:54 PM

Our youngest sprog is in his last year of preschool. The preschool has an annual adults only party (

) where we exchange white elephant gifts after a suitable amount of alcohol had been consumed. Usually the "gifts" we come home with are returned the next year, but as this is our last year, we appear to be stuck with a vomit-inducing-page-per-day Anne Geddes/Celene Dion Calendar (2005)

Any suggestions for creative disposal thereof? It's way too crispy for bogroll.

Anyone want to swap it for their unwanted gifts? Most things considered...

Tonchi · 02-27-2006, 02:13 AM

Tie in a roll with a piece of strong twine around the middle and leave long ends on both sides of the knot. Seat childer in comfortable positions where they will have a good view. Locate nearest Jack Russell Terrier(s) and lure back to your yard by swinging the rolled calendar by the strings just out of reach like a piñata. Have children count to 3 as you swing the roll higher and higher above the hysterical dog(s). Release. Duck and run. Enjoy the subsequent destruction with the kids.

Spexxvet · 02-27-2006, 08:41 AM

Camp fire starter?

After it makes you vomit, clean up said vomit with the calendar pages and ship the entire mess to the hateful person who dumped the offending material on you.

SteveDallas · 02-27-2006, 08:47 AM

Wow. Anne Geddes... and Celine Dion... together????? I'm surprised the universe hasn't just melted.

Beestie · 02-27-2006, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

Wow. Anne Geddes... and Celine Dion... together????? I'm surprised the universe hasn't just melted.

Depends on what you mean by "together."

Elspode · 02-27-2006, 09:14 AM

Shred, mix with bovine excrement and use as compost.

dar512 · 02-27-2006, 09:58 AM

Do you have future Girl Scouts? One of the first projects they do is to make sit-upons (leatherette laced around newspaper or magazines). The kids use them to sit on at meetings.

Of course there's the time-honored dartboard/target practice thing.

monster · 02-27-2006, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

Wow. Anne Geddes... and Celine Dion... together????? I'm surprised the universe hasn't just melted.

Now I really have to share....

wolf · 02-27-2006, 11:30 AM

That is scary in ways I don't want to think about.

But that is the kind of crap I buy for other people, just to disturb them. Every now and again, somebody likes the wierdness effect stuff, but not because it's weird. I find ways to drop communication gracefully with those people

footfootfoot · 02-27-2006, 11:32 AM

Hey Monster, how 'bout a little NSFW or DISTURBING IMAGE WARNING? please!

My favorite disposal techniques was the NYC garbage strike method of trash removal: Gift wrap calendar and leave it somewhere likely to be stolen.

02-26-2006, 11:54 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	White Elephant Our youngest sprog is in his last year of preschool. The preschool has an annual adults only party ( ) where we exchange white elephant gifts after a suitable amount of alcohol had been consumed. Usually the "gifts" we come home with are returned the next year, but as this is our last year, we appear to be stuck with a vomit-inducing-page-per-day Anne Geddes/Celene Dion Calendar (2005) Any suggestions for creative disposal thereof? It's way too crispy for bogroll. Anyone want to swap it for their unwanted gifts? Most things considered... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-27-2006, 02:13 AM	#2
Tonchi Victim of gravity Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Hiding in plain sight Posts: 1,412	Tie in a roll with a piece of strong twine around the middle and leave long ends on both sides of the knot. Seat childer in comfortable positions where they will have a good view. Locate nearest Jack Russell Terrier(s) and lure back to your yard by swinging the rolled calendar by the strings just out of reach like a piñata. Have children count to 3 as you swing the roll higher and higher above the hysterical dog(s). Release. Duck and run. Enjoy the subsequent destruction with the kids. __________________ Everything you've ever heard about Fresno is true.

02-27-2006, 08:41 AM	#3
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Camp fire starter? After it makes you vomit, clean up said vomit with the calendar pages and ship the entire mess to the hateful person who dumped the offending material on you. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

02-27-2006, 09:14 AM	#6
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Shred, mix with bovine excrement and use as compost. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

02-27-2006, 09:58 AM	#7
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Do you have future Girl Scouts? One of the first projects they do is to make sit-upons (leatherette laced around newspaper or magazines). The kids use them to sit on at meetings. Of course there's the time-honored dartboard/target practice thing. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

02-27-2006, 08:47 AM	#4
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Wow. Anne Geddes... and Celine Dion... together????? I'm surprised the universe hasn't just melted.

02-27-2006, 11:30 AM	#9
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	That is scary in ways I don't want to think about. But that is the kind of crap I buy for other people, just to disturb them. Every now and again, somebody likes the wierdness effect stuff, but not because it's weird. I find ways to drop communication gracefully with those people __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-27-2006, 11:32 AM	#10
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Hey Monster, how 'bout a little NSFW or DISTURBING IMAGE WARNING? please! My favorite disposal techniques was the NYC garbage strike method of trash removal: Gift wrap calendar and leave it somewhere likely to be stolen. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

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