What do you do when??

JBKlyde · 08-11-2010, 06:57 PM

Someone you once knew wants nothing to do with you and you have dedicated alot of time to the relationship and only recently find out that.. she's married...

Lamplighter · 08-11-2010, 07:01 PM

If hubby is bigger than you or has a CCL, take a loooong vacation - out of town !

Lamplighter · 08-11-2010, 07:04 PM

Sorry for being so flippant...

My first reaction is that it's a situation beyond your control
so you'll need to accept it and strike a new course in your life.

Clodfobble · 08-11-2010, 07:29 PM

You avoid her like the lying bitch she is?

classicman · 08-11-2010, 09:06 PM

The brain of Clod speaks the truth.

lookout123 · 08-12-2010, 12:04 AM

Hire an AIDS infested gigolo to hit on her at a bar?

sexobon · 08-12-2010, 04:06 AM

If she wants nothing to do with you, it shouldn't matter whether she's married or not, leave her alone and chalk it up to experience. If you can't respect that, consider that if she is indeed married; but, not legally separated, her husband may [in some states] sue you for alienation of affection if you pursue the relationship. Don't be a chump.

Pete Zicato · 08-12-2010, 10:48 AM

Learn from this relationship. If you "dedicated alot of time to the relationship and only recently find out that.. she's married", then you missed a lot of hints and/or had your eyes closed.

Lamplighter · 08-12-2010, 11:11 AM

"Future behavior is predicted by past behavior"
Thank you Dr Phil.
Now, we can guess what she would do if she were with JBK.

Shawnee123 · 08-12-2010, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete Zicato

Learn from this relationship. If you "dedicated alot of time to the relationship and only recently find out that.. she's married", then you missed a lot of hints and/or had your eyes closed.

Sorry, none of it makes sense: "someone I once knew" and "doesn't want anything to do with me" and "dedicated a lot of time" and "just found out she's married" reeks of big giant stalker to me.

She may not be a lying bitch after all...sounds like she either didn't have a clue or has by now gotten a restraining order.

I've been a lot of bad words when crazy stalkers don't get what they want from me.

BigV · 08-12-2010, 11:33 AM

Hey JBK,

I have been in similar situations before, and for me, the key factor is "...wants nothing to do with you...". Heed this. More important that her marital status, more important than how much time you've put into the relationship, you should not be where you're not welcome, and most especially when it comes to a woman's heart.

I understand (to the very limited extent you've shared here) how difficult and painful this revelation can be. And how unpleasant the consistent advice you've heard to this point can be. But you should move on. You might get called back later, but you're being shut out now. Take charge of your own feet and tell them to carry your heart off to safer better places.

Shawnee123 · 08-12-2010, 11:41 AM

Oh for crying out loud.

Yeah, poor guy is probably just a misunderstood man in love. Boo the hoo.

WHEN did you know her, jb?

WHEN and HOW did you figure she wanted nothing to do with you?

WHEN and in WHAT WAYS have you invested time in this obsession, I mean, relationship?

WHEN and HOW did you find out she was married?

The Wise Blowhard will always give good advice, having been a crazed stalker himself, I'm guessing (educated guess based on experience...some of y'all know exactly what I mean.)

Pete Zicato · 08-12-2010, 11:53 AM

I considered that explanation, Shaw, but was giving the benefit of the doubt.

JB - if you really want help with this situation, you have to provide more background.

jinx · 08-12-2010, 11:57 AM

Quote:

The Wise Blowhard

User title.

Shawnee123 · 08-12-2010, 11:58 AM

Yeah, I know. I just proposed what I thought when I originally read the post, before the woman was some cheating lying whore...but the advice from the president of the Alan Alda School for Sensitive Men (thanks j! you wrote that, if you're reading) put me right over the edge on the subject.

Perhaps Jb just didn't explain it well. That many of us had the letter A already firmly planted on the woman's person didn't sit well with me.

The stalker types? Maybe you don't know how effed up that can make your life, but I do. It's a scary thing, feeling constantly violated and unsafe.

OK, off the soapbox.

08-11-2010, 06:57 PM	#1
JBKlyde Banned Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Encrypted Into an AmpitheaterWall Posts: 1,722	What do you do when?? Someone you once knew wants nothing to do with you and you have dedicated alot of time to the relationship and only recently find out that.. she's married...

08-11-2010, 07:29 PM	#4
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	You avoid her like the lying bitch she is? __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

08-11-2010, 09:06 PM	#5
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	The brain of Clod speaks the truth. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

08-12-2010, 12:04 AM	#6
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	Hire an AIDS infested gigolo to hit on her at a bar? __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

08-12-2010, 10:48 AM	#8
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	Learn from this relationship. If you "dedicated alot of time to the relationship and only recently find out that.. she's married", then you missed a lot of hints and/or had your eyes closed. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

08-11-2010, 07:01 PM	#2
Lamplighter Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods Posts: 6,402	If hubby is bigger than you or has a CCL, take a loooong vacation - out of town !

08-11-2010, 07:04 PM	#3
Lamplighter Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods Posts: 6,402	Sorry for being so flippant... My first reaction is that it's a situation beyond your control so you'll need to accept it and strike a new course in your life.

08-12-2010, 04:06 AM	#7
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	If she wants nothing to do with you, it shouldn't matter whether she's married or not, leave her alone and chalk it up to experience. If you can't respect that, consider that if she is indeed married; but, not legally separated, her husband may [in some states] sue you for alienation of affection if you pursue the relationship. Don't be a chump.

08-12-2010, 11:11 AM	#9
Lamplighter Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods Posts: 6,402	"Future behavior is predicted by past behavior" Thank you Dr Phil. Now, we can guess what she would do if she were with JBK.

08-12-2010, 11:33 AM	#11
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Hey JBK, I have been in similar situations before, and for me, the key factor is "...wants nothing to do with you...". Heed this. More important that her marital status, more important than how much time you've put into the relationship, you should not be where you're not welcome, and most especially when it comes to a woman's heart. I understand (to the very limited extent you've shared here) how difficult and painful this revelation can be. And how unpleasant the consistent advice you've heard to this point can be. But you should move on. You might get called back later, but you're being shut out now. Take charge of your own feet and tell them to carry your heart off to safer better places. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

08-12-2010, 11:41 AM	#12
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Oh for crying out loud. Yeah, poor guy is probably just a misunderstood man in love. Boo the hoo. WHEN did you know her, jb? WHEN and HOW did you figure she wanted nothing to do with you? WHEN and in WHAT WAYS have you invested time in this obsession, I mean, relationship? WHEN and HOW did you find out she was married? The Wise Blowhard will always give good advice, having been a crazed stalker himself, I'm guessing (educated guess based on experience...some of y'all know exactly what I mean.) __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby Last edited by Shawnee123; 08-12-2010 at 11:49 AM.

08-12-2010, 11:53 AM	#13
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	I considered that explanation, Shaw, but was giving the benefit of the doubt. JB - if you really want help with this situation, you have to provide more background. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

08-12-2010, 11:58 AM	#15
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Yeah, I know. I just proposed what I thought when I originally read the post, before the woman was some cheating lying whore...but the advice from the president of the Alan Alda School for Sensitive Men (thanks j! you wrote that, if you're reading) put me right over the edge on the subject. Perhaps Jb just didn't explain it well. That many of us had the letter A already firmly planted on the woman's person didn't sit well with me. The stalker types? Maybe you don't know how effed up that can make your life, but I do. It's a scary thing, feeling constantly violated and unsafe. OK, off the soapbox. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

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