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07-25-2007, 01:40 AM
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#1 |
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lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,549
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There is Something Wrong with My Chinese Delivery Place
I got this fortune cookie tonight. It didn't have the usual fortune cookie platitudes about long voyages or obscure Confucian wisdom type stuff.
It said "Stay away from the opposite sex." It was not a specialty comedy cookie. Actually, they've been on a run of soppy positive self esteem cookies. I thought about it awhile and realized that I must have gotten someone else's cookie, so I gave it to the homosexual when he got back into the office.
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  wolf eht htiw og"Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
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07-25-2007, 01:50 AM
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#2 |
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The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 41,937
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A queer cookie?
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Everything is interesting... look closer. 
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07-25-2007, 02:13 AM
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#3 |
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in a mood, not cupcake
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 3,028
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Well, shit--you've turned someone else's cookie for you into a paradox for him.
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07-25-2007, 03:31 AM
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#4 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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It sounds like a derivation of the general advice to stay away from temptation (e.g. advice to recovering alcoholics is to stay away from alcohol and bars, advice to adulterers is to stay away from the opposite sex. Perhaps they fancy themselves Chinese deliverers from evil.
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07-25-2007, 05:04 AM
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#5 |
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Bitchy Little Brat
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 5,066
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Damn good advice that, I wish I got that one wolf.
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07-25-2007, 12:24 PM
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#6 | |
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Serve ice cold, add salt to taste
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,434
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Quote:
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Peas and Logic, Patrick "He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it." Douglas Adams |
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07-25-2007, 06:02 AM
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#7 | |
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Hill-Biffy or HillWilliam
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 17,066
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Quote:
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis ...how easily the learned give up the evidence of their senses to preserve the coherence of ideas in their imagination. - Adam Smith |
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07-25-2007, 07:30 AM
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#8 |
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Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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Wow. They don't even try to be subtle. Just "STAY AWAY." Not avoid, not "be cautious."
That's really funny.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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07-25-2007, 08:44 AM
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#9 |
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Professor
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,555
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Two woks don't make a right.
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To dream is to fly. |
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07-25-2007, 10:56 AM
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#10 |
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Tool. Not the band - you are one.
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: 501 Northlake Blvd., North Palm Beach FL
Posts: 329
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Wow. Nice encouragement to go asexual. Or homosexual. Nun or shun.
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07-25-2007, 11:44 AM
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#11 | |
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Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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Quote:
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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07-25-2007, 11:45 AM
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#12 |
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Lecturer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 945
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You know, it could have been a typo; maybe it was supposed to say "Stay away from the opposite of sex." As in, having no sex. Ah, who am I kidding? That's just a messed up cookie.
Perhaps the strangest fortune I ever received simply said "Made in the USA." I'm not joking here. That was the fortune, not some legal production ID business. |
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07-27-2007, 11:22 AM
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#13 | |
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“Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo”
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Savannah, Georgia
Posts: 21,393
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Quote:
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Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012! |
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07-25-2007, 12:03 PM
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#14 | |
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Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 18,326
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Perhaps you got one intended for domestic consumption, and not intended for export. I say it's legit. Very topical, current events-fresh.
Quote:
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Remember: Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180) |
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07-25-2007, 12:06 PM
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#15 |
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Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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That edict should have a big impact on the monkey-riding-goat concession. Those things poo, you know.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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"There's nothing wrong with John whatsoever other than he killed a couple people."
- John Christo, a friend of abortion clinic John C. Salvi III, attackingu the media for portraying Salvi as a "serial killer" instead of a "nice guy."
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