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Relationships People who need people; or, why can't we all just get along?

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Old 05-23-2011, 01:02 AM   #1
ZenGum
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Well, there is the woodchuck solution ... applied to the MIL, I emphasise!

Seriously, what Clod said. Related: Australian soldiers in Vietnam were stagering back to base from R&R so pissed and hung-over that they were useless the next day. A rule had to be brought in that their last (I think) 24 hours of R&R were on base and dry. Gave them time to sober up before more soldiering.

So if it is viable, maybe a few hours getting massaged, soaked, aromatherapised, etc might improve Homegirl.

If not, have the massage yourself. She'll still be the same, only you won't mind so much.
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Old 05-23-2011, 03:52 AM   #2
casimendocina
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All of the advice above sounds good-implementable? Is the considering divorce bit only because of how she is when she gets back from her mum's or are there other contributing factors?
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Old 05-23-2011, 07:47 AM   #3
Trilby
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oh, my. I'm sorry to hear it.

I like you, footy. I think you're swell. Take some time and think and breathe and de-compress. Divorce isn't the heaven some people think it is....get some time and space.
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Old 06-01-2011, 02:34 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brianna View Post
Divorce isn't the heaven some people think it is....get some time and space.
That's for women. For divorced men it's great... the best booze, drugs, cars, and lots of hos...
oh wait, that's millionaires I'm thinking of. nevermind
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Old 06-01-2011, 03:16 AM   #5
DanaC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
That's for women. For divorced men it's great... the best booze, drugs, cars, and lots of hobos...
oh wait, that's Shawnees I'm thinking of. nevermind
*grins*
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Old 06-01-2011, 02:54 PM   #6
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Kumbaya, my Lord...
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Old 06-04-2011, 05:23 AM   #7
richlevy
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Sorry to hear about it.

Take your time with it. Get a babysitter and take an overnight trip to reconnect and talk it out away from the kids.

Even that small piece of generic advice is presumptuous of me. There is so much I don't know. Still, alone time and communication are almost never a bad idea.

Good luck with everything.
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Old 06-04-2011, 07:11 AM   #8
Griff
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Quote:
Originally Posted by richlevy View Post

Take ... a babysitter and take an overnight trip...
If I'm really tired and scanning, I sometimes miss the point.
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Old 05-23-2011, 08:42 AM   #9
classicman
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Take a deep breath. . . then a few more. There is so much to think about before going there. Bri has it right - it is not the heaven some think it is. It creates a whole new host of problems - just a couple -2 households, double all bills -split time with/without kids, parenting...
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Old 05-23-2011, 09:06 AM   #10
jimhelm
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aw fuck, bro.

I should have a bunch of advice for you, but I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing or why anymore. Would not go back if given the chance at this point, but if I could go back in time and fix it before the damage was irreparable, I'd do that foshizzle. Whatever you decide to do, and if you want to, count on me when you need to talk to someone. I'll email my cell #, call me anytime.
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Old 05-23-2011, 12:05 PM   #11
Undertoad
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Quote:
I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing or why anymore
Good times is what! You have teh skillz to find somebody who actually likes you and stuff. Your time is now if it isn't already. So it will be with footer, after a time.
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Old 05-23-2011, 12:28 PM   #12
skysidhe
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for the pains.

That's all I know.
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Old 05-23-2011, 12:37 PM   #13
Spexxvet
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I wonder if she does something at her mother's which she is ashamed of. Causing an argument with you may justify her behavior at her mother's. Or perhaps she is upset that you all get along well without her. Just thinking.
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Old 05-23-2011, 01:49 PM   #14
BigV
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I don't know what to say, brother.

There is real pain in your voice and that hurts me to hear it. Not like your shoulder which was painful but had a "solution". Part of me wants (urgently) to *fix* this for you and yours. Ha... I know I can't fix it. Furthermore, you know how to "fix" it, if it is "fixable" at all. Buddy, you've put me in a difficult position here!

So, I'll listen instead. That I can do and do well. Talk on, and if you accidentally say a question I *can* answer, my inner fixer will leap at the opportunity. He knows a lot about this stuff. For now, he's safely gagged. Please, continue.
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Old 05-23-2011, 02:24 PM   #15
glatt
 
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I'm sorry foot. You are a good guy, and don't deserve this. I don't have any advice for you. I just hope it all works out and you can avoid the divorce. I've seen people manage divorce well, and come out the other side much better off and happier. I've also seen people really get destroyed by it. The financial side of divorce can be absolutely devastating for everyone involved, especially when kids are involved. I'm not saying you should stay in a bad marriage to save a buck, but you should try everything to save it before you cross that bridge.
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