The Quest

[BigV]

Hi monster--

I was just thinking about you. I'm sorry about your situation, I can understand the frustration of having these new circumstances thrust upon you. It's shitty.

I have a lot of confidence in you. You're smart and capable and energetic and motivated. I'd hire you.

As for me, I don't have your flair for networking and I suck at self promotion. I have made a small amount of progress developing my resume to reflect my most recent position. This is something that has to be completed *now*, this morning, so I can use it to followup on job applications so I can submit my unemployment claim--and to get a job, because, duh.

I have a bad case of writer's block, amplified by my tendency toward completeness. This is not a good posture for the task. I know it is just the worm on the hook to lure an employer to bite and invite further contact. Saying that out loud helps some... The whole process is a slog compounded by the fact that I am angry about having been ambushed like this. No, I still don't know any more about the circumstances that led to his decision than I have already shared. I definitely haven't contacted him, though I've had conversations with him in my head.

Speaking of my head... it's pretty fucked up right now, with occasional brief periods of a good attitude. I like those and they're where I get...

am I being distracted from my serious mental unhealthiness? These flashes are where I've been able to get a little flow in my writing and my organization and my employment progress. I don't know. I'm suffering, I'm stressed, it's fucked up, I'm fucked up, I'm not doing well, I'm worried.

I'm having a helluva time getting a firm grip on my bootstraps.

back to the fucking resume.