I know this isn't Oprah but...

Originally posted by Catwoman
Even though he has said he is avoiding a relationship because he knows there is a possibility we would break up, there's no guarantees, and he doesn't want to go through the pain again? Shows he must have some feelings for me doesn't it? I know I can't tell him to let go of his fear, but I'm hoping he will. You see for me I think it's gone too far already to avoid the pain. For him, he's just recognising signs that it's starting. He said better say it now instead of 2 years down the line, when it would be so much more painful. It's like I want to wait for him. I'm so involved now already a few more months won't make that much difference surely, and if the time becomes right for him it will all be worth it.

Am I just being incredibly naive? Or should I hold onto the possibility of loving again?

Here is my personal experience on that one. I met a man who was newly divorced. There was this incredible chemistry between us right from the start. We became involved in a very passionate affair. I felt I had met THE one. He, on the other hand, was uncertain. Said he wanted to avoid the potential pain of another relationship going bad (sound familiar?). He said to give him time, so I did. One year later he called me up and told me that he had become exclusive with someone else, and that it had been swell knowing me.

Granted, this man is not the same one as yours, etc., etc., but if you feel a strong affinity for someone, you know it - you don't have to be coaxed into feeling love or stand around for months thinking about it. In my experience, a man who is truely interested will let you know this in no uncertain terms. They will call you first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. They leave sweet clumsy bouquets of wildflowers in a jar at your front door, they'll call you long distance from Mozambique and to hell with the long distance charges.

I can tell that you feel compelled to ride this one out to the end. I probably would have done the same myself once upon a time - in fact I did with Mr. "give me time." I hope for your sake that I am wrong, and it all turns out happy ever after for you, but I am not optimistic. I wish you well, and I know how painful this must be for you.