no really, say what you're thinking

[DanaC]

..........Gosh.....this place has changed some, did someone redecorate the cellar?
Hate having no internet access.....HATE HATE HATE....I wont bore you with the details and the whyfors?....I'll just reiterate that I HATE not having access to the internet....HATE HATE HATE. It's been over a month.....indeed its been nearly two! If I hadnt offered to babysit my two adorable ( though thankfully now abed) nieces I would not now be able to tell you just how much I hate not having my internet......So here I sit on my Bro's dial up, joint in one hand and mouse in t'other

There......thats the important stuff dealt with......Now for the fluffier stuff going on in my head .... *grins* hi all. Hows it been down here where the sun never shines?

Is it normal to talk to oneself? Is it a sign of depression to be fearful of everything? Is it possible to go quietly insane , cut adrift from the realities of cyber into a strange dreamlike world of walls and trees?

Perhaps the answers lie within the twisted cardboard roach at the end of my joint......or the pistachio shell cairn on my desk.....Perhaps I should pray....or wail and weep. Or sleep. Keep myself busy and drift into another night time vigil, another morning's waking and the breaking of promises I never intended to keep. To myself.

I just lit a cigarette. Rolled by my own fair hand. My brand of death sentence, white sleek and tipped. Lit, it rips past my throat. Singeing and bringing a measure of calm. I am becalmed. Afloat. A boat drifting into a lazy summer sea. I am nothing of what I was. I am no longer me. I dont smoke. I dont do the things I do. Nothing about me is true.