Humor in the campaigns

xoxoxoBruce · 09-04-2004, 10:08 PM

Karl Rove found GWB’s lost war medals in a closet. They are the American Star, Purple Lion's Heart, Olympic Medal, Silver Superstar, Five Bears of Friendship Medal, Congressional Bell, Leadership Star and Fearless Ninja.

lookout123 · 09-04-2004, 10:16 PM

wasn't that one already posted elsewhere bruce? it is still damn funny. i probably saw it on a different site. i think there were about 3 pages of medals.

xoxoxoBruce · 09-04-2004, 11:08 PM

Yeah, I'd down loaded them from somewhere and they had been sitting on my desktop for a while. Tonight I finally had a chance to condense them into a manageable size for the modemites.

lookout123 · 09-05-2004, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

modemites.

i thought they were extinct.

xoxoxoBruce · 09-05-2004, 02:43 PM

Far from it. In fact they are probably the silent majority.

lookout123 · 09-05-2004, 07:36 PM

interesting. i am ashamed to say that i am a computer illiterate. i wasn't once upon a time but that was ten years ago.

lookout123 · 09-09-2004, 05:48 PM

ohn Kerry Fan

A teacher in a small Vermont town asks her class how many of them are John Kerry fans.
Not really knowing what a John Kerry fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy.

The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different.

Johnny says, "I'm not a John Kerry fan."

The teacher says, "Why aren't you a John Kerry fan?"

Johnny says, "I'm a George Bush fan."

The teacher asks why he's a George Bush fan.

The boy says, "Well, my mom's a George Bush fan and my dad's a George Bush fan, so I'm a George Bush fan!"

The teacher is kind of angry, because this IS Vermont, so she asks, "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"

Johnny says, "That would make me a John Kerry fan

lookout123 · 09-09-2004, 05:49 PM

Clocks In Heaven

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

lookout123 · 09-09-2004, 06:10 PM

So That Is Politics

A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow." The father thinks a little and says, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner. Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?" The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now." "Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?" The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap."

wolf · 09-18-2004, 10:08 PM

Kids wear the darndest things.

xoxoxoBruce · 09-19-2004, 01:14 AM

Oh, that little boy is so cute, so innocent, so naive. :p

09-04-2004, 10:08 PM	#1
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Karl Rove found GWB’s lost war medals in a closet. They are the American Star, Purple Lion's Heart, Olympic Medal, Silver Superstar, Five Bears of Friendship Medal, Congressional Bell, Leadership Star and Fearless Ninja. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. Last edited by xoxoxoBruce; 04-07-2007 at 06:00 PM.

09-04-2004, 10:16 PM	#2
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	wasn't that one already posted elsewhere bruce? it is still damn funny. i probably saw it on a different site. i think there were about 3 pages of medals. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

09-04-2004, 11:08 PM	#3
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Yeah, I'd down loaded them from somewhere and they had been sitting on my desktop for a while. Tonight I finally had a chance to condense them into a manageable size for the modemites. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

09-05-2004, 02:43 PM	#5
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Far from it. In fact they are probably the silent majority. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

09-05-2004, 07:36 PM	#6
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	interesting. i am ashamed to say that i am a computer illiterate. i wasn't once upon a time but that was ten years ago. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

09-09-2004, 05:48 PM	#7
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	one for the Bush fans. ohn Kerry Fan A teacher in a small Vermont town asks her class how many of them are John Kerry fans. Not really knowing what a John Kerry fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, "I'm not a John Kerry fan." The teacher says, "Why aren't you a John Kerry fan?" Johnny says, "I'm a George Bush fan." The teacher asks why he's a George Bush fan. The boy says, "Well, my mom's a George Bush fan and my dad's a George Bush fan, so I'm a George Bush fan!" The teacher is kind of angry, because this IS Vermont, so she asks, "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Johnny says, "That would make me a John Kerry fan __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

09-09-2004, 05:49 PM	#8
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	and one for the other 1,385 cellarites Clocks In Heaven A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life." "Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man. "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan." __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

09-09-2004, 06:10 PM	#9
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	and one for dana So That Is Politics A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow." The father thinks a little and says, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner. Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?" The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said." Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed. The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now." "Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?" The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap." __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

09-18-2004, 10:08 PM	#10
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Kids wear the darndest things. Attached Images __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

09-19-2004, 01:14 AM	#11
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Oh, that little boy is so cute, so innocent, so naive. :p __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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