Can I be Nearly as Interesting as Slang?

Patrick, you should write. You should be playing music (I understand how careful a guitarist has to be of his hands). What a travesty that you should be delivering pizza's. Oh well, whoever said life was fair? But I'm mad at life on your behalf.

And no, Busterb, dumpsters are not an option in my own little story. They have this computerized route checking system and if more than three people indicate that they didn't get their phone book, you don't get paid for the entire route.