About Quiet Night Thoughts

mrnoodle · 03-30-2005, 10:41 AM

actually, since you're using "moon" elsewhere, it would be nice to change the first line to something like "pool of silver" or "pale gauze of light" or whatever. You're comparing it to a blanket of frost, so descriptive words along that line work. Because of the late hour, moonlight is implied.

I dunno how free you can be when translating things. In the original language, there is very likely a deeper meaning to the phrase you've translated as "pool of moonlight."

03-30-2005, 10:41 AM	#4
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	actually, since you're using "moon" elsewhere, it would be nice to change the first line to something like "pool of silver" or "pale gauze of light" or whatever. You're comparing it to a blanket of frost, so descriptive words along that line work. Because of the late hour, moonlight is implied. I dunno how free you can be when translating things. In the original language, there is very likely a deeper meaning to the phrase you've translated as "pool of moonlight." __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

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