Cats and Buttered Toast

[Cyclefrance]

Originally Posted by Tonchi

T'Pau, Queen of the Universe, wishes to comment that she has performed this experiment in my kitchen several times and the answer is obvious: a cat weighing more than the slice of buttered bread will supercede any metaphysical efforts of said bread. She therefore concludes that the experiment should be attempted with a slice weighing more than her weight of 8 pounds, and she volunteers to demonstrate this. She has requested that everybody send Colombo's San Francisco Sourdough only, with cinnamon-honey butter since she is going to all this inconvenience for us

Such dedication! Sadly anything containing honey would not be permissible as, being a bee extract, it inherantly contains gravity resistant enzymes (everyone knows that it is mathematically impossible for a bee to fly given the weight to lift ratio and the whole, well one can hardly call them dynamics but I suppose one has to, of the creature, and therefore it must achieve flight through other properties of its metabolism). This would confound the result.

Regarding the weight issue, I ask you to recall the works of the sadly passed, Sir Isaac Newton (the mere mention of his name brings a lump to my throat - such a loss, such a loss...) in honour of his name and contribution to the world of physics, please think a while, does a pebble fall any faster than a boulder?

Sorry, but I detect just the teensiest, weensiest morsel of a little fib..... I sincerely hope that the Queen of the Universe (God bless you ma'am, your regal highness whom no-one should offend - I, your humblest of servants, beg your mercy for this poor, misguided individual who clearly neither means nor meant any harm or insolence) doesn't take offence at your inference and that the rest of your life is not adversely affected. I have done what I can to help in this respect.