Merry F'in Christmas - I want a divorce.

yesman065 · 01-30-2006, 10:58 AM

I went for 10 of the 17 years I was married "without having my needs fulfilled." And now just months later, I am infinitely happier, my children are relieved not to hear the fighting and screaming all the time, and my ex is actually tolerable - in small doses of course. I'm sorry, but after her cheating on me repeatedly, lying to me consistently, and stealing checks and money from me too many times to count, I think it was a very painful necessity. Sticking around for "The kids, my "Roman Catholic" religious obligations or my morals only cost me another five years of my/our lives. If I had known what I know now - I'd definitely have left years ago and all would have been the better for it!

Becca · 01-31-2006, 09:41 PM

Wow, I have been perusing the web trying to get some insight into my own situation and definitely stumbled into alot of insight!

Lookout, I am so sorry for your anguish. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you.
Like Chimmi, I am having trouble in my marriage as well. I have a devoted husband who declares that he loves me and still gets butterflies. I have no end of compliments to my body and our physical relationship. Yet, I just wish he would leave me alone and let me go. We have so little to talk about and when we do, we argue about the most stupid things. I am hoping that I feel lost, suffocated, and drowning simply because of depression. We live within a stone's throw of his parents (a new development) which does not help at all. I really detest the area in which we live and don't enjoy his parents, who are a large part of his life. My two boys are my light and joy and I have stayed home with them since their births. In fact, I have homeschooled them for 5 years. If it weren't for them, I think I would have left already. Who knows?

We are all so different and handle fear, disappointments, regrets and resentments differently. Have you asked you wife what she really wants out of life? Sometimes it's hard to face what we want because it sounds selfish. As women, society tends to make us feel that only bitches are selfish and look out for their own needs. Maybe in some way she is living that out? Bottom line, you do need to look out for your needs and those of your son. Children are remarkably resilient - we weren't fragile teacups and neither are our children. All they want is to be loved and have some semblance of safety. Good luck to you!

xoxoxoBruce · 01-31-2006, 10:08 PM

Welcome to the Cellar, Becca.

Hope you find some answers here. Also hope you stick around long enough to find some questions too.

01-31-2006, 10:08 PM	#3
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Welcome to the Cellar, Becca. Hope you find some answers here. Also hope you stick around long enough to find some questions too. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-30-2006, 10:58 AM	#1
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	I went for 10 of the 17 years I was married "without having my needs fulfilled." And now just months later, I am infinitely happier, my children are relieved not to hear the fighting and screaming all the time, and my ex is actually tolerable - in small doses of course. I'm sorry, but after her cheating on me repeatedly, lying to me consistently, and stealing checks and money from me too many times to count, I think it was a very painful necessity. Sticking around for "The kids, my "Roman Catholic" religious obligations or my morals only cost me another five years of my/our lives. If I had known what I know now - I'd definitely have left years ago and all would have been the better for it!

01-31-2006, 09:41 PM	#2
Becca Questionist Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 8	Wow, I have been perusing the web trying to get some insight into my own situation and definitely stumbled into alot of insight! Lookout, I am so sorry for your anguish. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you. Like Chimmi, I am having trouble in my marriage as well. I have a devoted husband who declares that he loves me and still gets butterflies. I have no end of compliments to my body and our physical relationship. Yet, I just wish he would leave me alone and let me go. We have so little to talk about and when we do, we argue about the most stupid things. I am hoping that I feel lost, suffocated, and drowning simply because of depression. We live within a stone's throw of his parents (a new development) which does not help at all. I really detest the area in which we live and don't enjoy his parents, who are a large part of his life. My two boys are my light and joy and I have stayed home with them since their births. In fact, I have homeschooled them for 5 years. If it weren't for them, I think I would have left already. Who knows? We are all so different and handle fear, disappointments, regrets and resentments differently. Have you asked you wife what she really wants out of life? Sometimes it's hard to face what we want because it sounds selfish. As women, society tends to make us feel that only bitches are selfish and look out for their own needs. Maybe in some way she is living that out? Bottom line, you do need to look out for your needs and those of your son. Children are remarkably resilient - we weren't fragile teacups and neither are our children. All they want is to be loved and have some semblance of safety. Good luck to you!

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