Humor...I Need Humor...

Cyclefrance · 03-06-2006, 04:13 PM

Tony B, the famous English radio DJ, was at the top of his career and enjoying driving his new shiny convertible Jaguar.

As he cruised through a quaint little English village he noticed a rather attractive young girl waiting for a bus. She had a beautiful figure and long blonde hair, and he just couldn’t resist offering her a lift.

He pulled alongside and stopped the car: ‘Hi!’ said Tony, removing his sunglasses ‘do you know who I am…?’

‘Oooh,’ giggled the girl, ‘It’s not, you’re, no, you can’t be, yes you are – you’re Tony B’

The girl screamed and jumped up and down clapping her hands. ‘Oh, Tony, you’re my favourite DJ! I listen to your programme every day. I can’t believe it’s really you!’

‘Well, it is, and how about me giving such a devoted fan a lift….?’

Before he could finish, the blonde had opened the car and jumped in next to Tony.

Tony pulled away.

‘Oooh, Tony,’ said the girl, ‘you really are my favourite – I’d do anything for you, you know, I really would…’

‘Is that so…. Well I think this may be your lucky day.’ And with that he undid his trouser fly and whipped out his John Thomas.

The girl’s eyes bulged and she whimpered slightly: ‘Oooh, Tony, I didn’t expect this. I’m not sure if I can. I mean, I’ve never done anything like this before. I might not do it right.’

‘Of course you will.’ said Tony. ‘Just do as I tell you. All you have to do is grab it in both hands, get the old mouth down to it and, well, I guess I don’t have to say any more, do I’

‘Oooh, I’m not sure. Are you sure it will be all right? Only I’m worried I might do something wrong.’

‘What can go wrong. Go on have a go.’

‘All right then,’ said the girl and moved her hands around and clasped the object raised in front of her.

‘That’s it.’ said Tony. ‘Now get your mouth down to it.’

‘OK’ and the girl bent down and put her lips close to his member and in a small but purposeful voice said: ‘Hello mum... Hello dad…!’

wolf · 03-07-2006, 12:24 AM

After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive", Osama
himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let
him know he was still in the game.

Kennedy opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded
message:

370HSSV-0773H

Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides
had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.
With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Britain's MI-6 for
help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled back with this reply:

"Tell the FBI that Kennedy's holding the message upside down."

03-06-2006, 04:13 PM	#1
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	Tony B, the famous English radio DJ, was at the top of his career and enjoying driving his new shiny convertible Jaguar. As he cruised through a quaint little English village he noticed a rather attractive young girl waiting for a bus. She had a beautiful figure and long blonde hair, and he just couldn’t resist offering her a lift. He pulled alongside and stopped the car: ‘Hi!’ said Tony, removing his sunglasses ‘do you know who I am…?’ ‘Oooh,’ giggled the girl, ‘It’s not, you’re, no, you can’t be, yes you are – you’re Tony B’ The girl screamed and jumped up and down clapping her hands. ‘Oh, Tony, you’re my favourite DJ! I listen to your programme every day. I can’t believe it’s really you!’ ‘Well, it is, and how about me giving such a devoted fan a lift….?’ Before he could finish, the blonde had opened the car and jumped in next to Tony. Tony pulled away. ‘Oooh, Tony,’ said the girl, ‘you really are my favourite – I’d do anything for you, you know, I really would…’ ‘Is that so…. Well I think this may be your lucky day.’ And with that he undid his trouser fly and whipped out his John Thomas. The girl’s eyes bulged and she whimpered slightly: ‘Oooh, Tony, I didn’t expect this. I’m not sure if I can. I mean, I’ve never done anything like this before. I might not do it right.’ ‘Of course you will.’ said Tony. ‘Just do as I tell you. All you have to do is grab it in both hands, get the old mouth down to it and, well, I guess I don’t have to say any more, do I’ ‘Oooh, I’m not sure. Are you sure it will be all right? Only I’m worried I might do something wrong.’ ‘What can go wrong. Go on have a go.’ ‘All right then,’ said the girl and moved her hands around and clasped the object raised in front of her. ‘That’s it.’ said Tony. ‘Now get your mouth down to it.’ ‘OK’ and the girl bent down and put her lips close to his member and in a small but purposeful voice said: ‘Hello mum... Hello dad…!’ __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears

03-07-2006, 12:24 AM	#2
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	A Message from Osama After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive", Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Kennedy opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Britain's MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled back with this reply: "Tell the FBI that Kennedy's holding the message upside down." __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

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