3/8/2006: Oarfish, the real sea serpent

[Harlan]

Last year a woman in Cleveland on the north-east coast of England caught a 63.5kg, 3.5m-long oarfish while fishing for cod, using a squid bait.

The key to catching these babies is you've got to use a good squid bait, lightly breaded with marinara on the side, and be earnestly and convincingly fishing for cod. You also must be a woman, and preferably from Cleveland, though Akron, Sandusky and Youngstown are also viable.

Legend has it that there's a rare and even more elusive two-headed version, the Ether Oarfish. To catch that, Cleveland residency is definitely required.