Merry F'in Christmas - I want a divorce.

lookout123 · 04-09-2006, 12:42 AM

i guess i should update this. i look forward to asking UT to lock this thread in the near future. not yet, but soon.

we have agreed on 99.9% of everything that goes into the decree so I will have my attorney draft that all up this week.

life is weird, because i still do not want a divorce, still don't believe that our marriage is unfixable (if 2 people just decide they want to), but i have gotten my mind wrapped around the concept of being divorced. things get better day by day, well mostly - 3 steps forward, 1 step back and all that jazz.

life is even more weird because our interactions are more like a couple in the fairly early stages of serious dating rather than the tail end of a divorce. she has, at different times, stated that she still loves me, doesn't really want a divorce, knows that this is a mistake... but "if we don't do this now, it'll just happen some other time."

in the end i've come to the realization that the woman i've loved - and still do love - is in there somewhere, but she is choosing to be someone different for some unknown reason. i don't much care for the new person. i wouldn't marry the new person if given the choice so i'm done fighting for a marriage to this new person. it sucks, but that's life.

i close on the new house 5/15. certainly not anything approaching my dream home, or even my current home, but at only 50% the price it is a fair value and it will get me through a year or two. friday i went and bought an entire household of new furniture. expensive. but good therapy. bringing in the new stuff.

that's about it folks. thanks for your continued encouragement.

lookout123 · 04-23-2006, 07:53 PM

Sooo, my not quite ex is seeing someone - but swears she isn't. I know for a fact that she is. And I've known the bastard as long as she has. frickingfrackingsonamotherlessgoat...

anyway - in our not-yet-finalized divorce agreement we agreed that we would not introduce people we were dating to our son until it was a serious relationship - to avoid messing with his head.

well, she has neatly skirted that issue by saying that she isn't seeing anyone. She has been taking my son to hang out with her at the prick's house, taking him to the prick's kids sporting events, etc... But there isn't a damn thing I can do about it, because she isn't "dating" him.

what exactly is the proper response here - other than throttling her and burying him in the desert?

04-23-2006, 08:55 PM

As much as anything, wouldn't the problem be that the agreement is "not yet finalized"? It also seems like it would difficult for EITHER party to enforce. "Oh, him/her! We're not dating, we're just friends!"

It sucks the way she is continuing to game you, Lookout.

Are you guys trying for joint custody or is she the main custodial parent? Frankly, I don't think she should be taking lil' Lookout ANYWHERE from what you have described of her behavior.

And burying the dude out in the desert would seem like an enticing option.

Perhaps this show of poor faith on her part is something that could be brought to the judge's attention?

04-09-2006, 12:42 AM	#1
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	i guess i should update this. i look forward to asking UT to lock this thread in the near future. not yet, but soon. we have agreed on 99.9% of everything that goes into the decree so I will have my attorney draft that all up this week. life is weird, because i still do not want a divorce, still don't believe that our marriage is unfixable (if 2 people just decide they want to), but i have gotten my mind wrapped around the concept of being divorced. things get better day by day, well mostly - 3 steps forward, 1 step back and all that jazz. life is even more weird because our interactions are more like a couple in the fairly early stages of serious dating rather than the tail end of a divorce. she has, at different times, stated that she still loves me, doesn't really want a divorce, knows that this is a mistake... but "if we don't do this now, it'll just happen some other time." in the end i've come to the realization that the woman i've loved - and still do love - is in there somewhere, but she is choosing to be someone different for some unknown reason. i don't much care for the new person. i wouldn't marry the new person if given the choice so i'm done fighting for a marriage to this new person. it sucks, but that's life. i close on the new house 5/15. certainly not anything approaching my dream home, or even my current home, but at only 50% the price it is a fair value and it will get me through a year or two. friday i went and bought an entire household of new furniture. expensive. but good therapy. bringing in the new stuff. that's about it folks. thanks for your continued encouragement.

04-23-2006, 07:53 PM	#2
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	Sooo, my not quite ex is seeing someone - but swears she isn't. I know for a fact that she is. And I've known the bastard as long as she has. frickingfrackingsonamotherlessgoat... anyway - in our not-yet-finalized divorce agreement we agreed that we would not introduce people we were dating to our son until it was a serious relationship - to avoid messing with his head. well, she has neatly skirted that issue by saying that she isn't seeing anyone. She has been taking my son to hang out with her at the prick's house, taking him to the prick's kids sporting events, etc... But there isn't a damn thing I can do about it, because she isn't "dating" him. what exactly is the proper response here - other than throttling her and burying him in the desert?

04-23-2006, 08:55 PM	#3
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	As much as anything, wouldn't the problem be that the agreement is "not yet finalized"? It also seems like it would difficult for EITHER party to enforce. "Oh, him/her! We're not dating, we're just friends!" It sucks the way she is continuing to game you, Lookout. Are you guys trying for joint custody or is she the main custodial parent? Frankly, I don't think she should be taking lil' Lookout ANYWHERE from what you have described of her behavior. And burying the dude out in the desert would seem like an enticing option. Perhaps this show of poor faith on her part is something that could be brought to the judge's attention?

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