attachment issues

[extemporaneous]

my son is with the state because i am a scumbag and got locked up in county for two months. in order to get him back myself it would take longer than if his grandmother got temporary custoday instead. so, his grandmother is coming to get him from florida. HORRIBLY his father is still alive. he's a homicidal maniac and i dont enjoy being locked in basements. my friend, we'll call him dudley, has simply been my friend. maybe that's it through everything i know he's there and im perfectly happy with just that. here's the kicker: dudley is engaged. and tells me he loves me. his fiancee is in the ukraine coming in a year or so. i cant believe it. i said it outloud. he makes love to me and wakes up to her phone call most mornings. kisses me awake. maybe that's why im so confused...i mean yea whatever he's not married yet...but come on dude really...if you told somebody you love them while you were having sex, is that PLUTONIC???..