Another Fight

Iggy · 09-26-2006, 08:02 PM

You are only a junior in high school? You are still very young yet to be making lifelong decisions. I tried the bisexuality thing when I was your age (I'm 22, so not much older now). How do you feel about your sexuality? Are you sure that you are where you want to be with it? There is still plenty of time for you to figure all that out with yourself. I never "came out" to my family because I didn't think it was any of their business. Most of my friends knew because my girlfriend went to school with me and they saw us together. Some of my friends from other schools didn't know, but if they asked I would be honest.

As of right now my attraction to women is partly physical. I couldn't be happy living with just a woman, I need a man in my life. When I am with a woman it is a friend I have known for years and it is more of an extension of our relationship then just for the sex. I have a very unique relationship with my sexuality, at least from what I have seen of others.

I think you might need more time to figure out exactly what you feel about your sexuality. She should understand that and respect it.

Elspode · 09-26-2006, 08:10 PM

Your sexuality is *yours*. If this is a love thing instead of a sex thing, then your partner needs to lighten up and stop creating problems by insisting that you come out. If it is just a sex thing, then toss it and find someone to do who has a little bit better view of the proverbial Big Picture.

It sounds to me as if *she* has a problem with her self-image if she's worried that you might be "ashamed" of her. She's projecting.

Hoof Hearted · 09-26-2006, 09:37 PM

What IS the problem here?

It is that you are uncomfortable and not ready to reveal yourself to your friends/family at this time. This has nothing to do with her, it is all about you and your feelings. Sounds selfish, but it isn't. When you have sorted them out, they'll be sorted out. You are a teenager, you can't be expected to know everything all the time....though many teens think they do know it all.

If this person cared for you, she would respect your feelings and fears in this matter. The same way you are respecting hers. She wants to not sneak-around...you understand and feel accordingly, but you cannot change the way things are until you are READY to face the results of the announcement.

I think she is pressuring you unnecessarily. She may be comfortable, but you aren't her...you're you. She needs to love you for who you are and not try to make you change to suit her timetable.

I'd be saying the same thing if this were a boy/girl or husband/wife relationship, too. Respect and love don't try to change people to suit their ideals at the cost of the other person. Period.
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09-26-2006, 08:10 PM	#2
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Your sexuality is yours. If this is a love thing instead of a sex thing, then your partner needs to lighten up and stop creating problems by insisting that you come out. If it is just a sex thing, then toss it and find someone to do who has a little bit better view of the proverbial Big Picture. It sounds to me as if she has a problem with her self-image if she's worried that you might be "ashamed" of her. She's projecting. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

09-26-2006, 09:37 PM	#3
Hoof Hearted ...you smell something? Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Monroe, GA Posts: 420	What IS the problem here? It is that you are uncomfortable and not ready to reveal yourself to your friends/family at this time. This has nothing to do with her, it is all about you and your feelings. Sounds selfish, but it isn't. When you have sorted them out, they'll be sorted out. You are a teenager, you can't be expected to know everything all the time....though many teens think they do know it all. If this person cared for you, she would respect your feelings and fears in this matter. The same way you are respecting hers. She wants to not sneak-around...you understand and feel accordingly, but you cannot change the way things are until you are READY to face the results of the announcement. I think she is pressuring you unnecessarily. She may be comfortable, but you aren't her...you're you. She needs to love you for who you are and not try to make you change to suit her timetable. I'd be saying the same thing if this were a boy/girl or husband/wife relationship, too. Respect and love don't try to change people to suit their ideals at the cost of the other person. Period. hh __________________ I have the ability of single-minded determination and focu...Hey, look! A horse!

09-26-2006, 08:02 PM	#1
Iggy Back and ready to tart up the place Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 850	You are only a junior in high school? You are still very young yet to be making lifelong decisions. I tried the bisexuality thing when I was your age (I'm 22, so not much older now). How do you feel about your sexuality? Are you sure that you are where you want to be with it? There is still plenty of time for you to figure all that out with yourself. I never "came out" to my family because I didn't think it was any of their business. Most of my friends knew because my girlfriend went to school with me and they saw us together. Some of my friends from other schools didn't know, but if they asked I would be honest. As of right now my attraction to women is partly physical. I couldn't be happy living with just a woman, I need a man in my life. When I am with a woman it is a friend I have known for years and it is more of an extension of our relationship then just for the sex. I have a very unique relationship with my sexuality, at least from what I have seen of others. I think you might need more time to figure out exactly what you feel about your sexuality. She should understand that and respect it.

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