need advice please on step daughter who is stealing

[wolf]

Step one: Go change the PINs on all of the cards, even ones you think she doesn't have the PIN for.

Step two: Total up what's she's taken so far.

Step three: Draw a line in the sand. Let her know that's she's busted, and that the next time busting will involve actual police. Do not back down from this once the announcement has been made.

Step four: Develop a plan on exactly how she is going to reimburse you and her father for the losses totalled up in Step two. If reimbursement involves her doing work around the house, make the boundaries clear to her and establish an hourly rate for her service. Make performance benchmarks clear, letting her know that she will not receive credit for a half-assed job at anything. If you prefer, establish a rate for particular tasks you assign her, for example, $10 for washing down the kitchen floor, $1 for watching the dog take a dump in the back yard and letting it back in the house. If you know of any purchases she made with the cards, rather than ATM withdrawals, make her go with you or her dad to return the items.

Step five: Get her to counselling. It is likely there is more than just stealing going on here.

Your husband must be 100% on board with this plan to get it to work.