Friends of the Opposite Sex

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Have your significant other walk into a bar or restaurant and find you chatting with a member of the opposite sex. You'll be in big trouble.

Oh, and welcome to the Cellar, welthqa.

When I was in better condition that was not an odd occurrence for us at all. We would just invite her to sit down and join us or vice versa.
Our wedding parties were mixed sex. Friends are about personality and interests for those who think outside of their pants.

[LabRat]

I've been thinking about this. I really don't have any close male friends. Never really did.

Before marriage, If I met a guy outside of work or class project, I either dated him or never got to know him to the point that I would call him a 'friend'. Never kept in touch with any past boyfreinds either. I didn't date anyone I worked with. Definately flirted with lots though !!

Since being married the only men I have regular contact with are those I see daily thru work, or in my social circle.
Work: I am friendly (occasionally flirtatious) with men at work, but don't do anything outside of it wiht them, so I wouldn't call them a friend.
Socially: Either they are the husband/SO of someone I or my husband know, thus they are a friend by association, but not primarily MY friend. I don't know any single guys well enough to call them a friend. I definately flirt with several of my husbands friends, and they back.

I'll probably get grilled about this when DH reads this post, but at any given time I have had sexual thoughts at least once, if not multiple times about pretty much any guy I meet. (Unless of course they are really ugly or creepy.) It just may be a quick "Damn, nice calves...yum" to a full blown "Wonder what he'd be like in bed (or on the bar, or )" complete with visualiztion.

You'se guys here are the closest thing I've got to male friends, and frankly I've flirted with most of you at one time or another. And, yes, definately been attracted to lots of you at one time or another.

Sexual tension and flirting is fun, even when two parties know they wouldn't act on the exchanges.

My husband had lots of female friends when we met, and none of them were ugly...I know he'd of gladly messed around with any of them. Anytime I introduce him to a new female aquaintence, I can see him checking her out, and the little wheels in his head turning. I know that he has sexual thoughts about pretty much anyone with two X chromosomes. Pure male he is .

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

Friends are about personality and interests for those who think outside of their pants.

Well said, rkz!

[lumberjim]

I like labrat's honesty even more than her butt.

[yesman065]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

I like labrat's honesty even more than her butt.

Hmm its pretty close - I think I need to make another comparison first. (hint hint) :p

[Shawnee123]

Sit boy, sit....roll over. Good boy..who's a goo boy, huh, huh, who's a goo boy. You is...ess oo is, ess oo is...:p

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by Madman

It appears I am genetically flawed. Personally, I call it "mature behavior." I have several female friends. I don't want to "fuck" them. They don't want to "do the nasty" with me either. Now, we don't "hang out" together, we don't really "party" together. More of a "professional" relationship rather than a "social" relationship.

Personally, I don't want to "have sex" with my friends. They're my friends.

If you don't hang out with them, they're not your friends, are they? Those are called co-workers. Genetically speaking, if that were true, then yes, you'd be flawed. It is the natural state for us to consider those we encounter. It can be repressed, yes....but that's so ......repressive. Mature behavior begins when you choose to not act on the impulse. Saying you don't want to is either a lie or a defect.

*the above assumes that you find them attractive

[LabRat]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Cheating physically or mentally is the same.

What is cheating mentally? Thinking about having sexual contact with someone other than your spouse/SO? If I was worried about hubby doing that, I'd have nary a single neuron left in my little head to concentrate on anything else. And I'd be an adulterer to the bazillionth degree.

The only thing I care about is if he acts on that impulse. We are sexual beings, you can't repress that. Trying to is wasted energy that should be spent with your SO!

[lumberjim]

I'd think cheating mentally means loving another. emotional cheating.

and i'd disagree strongly with that quote. fucking someone else is one thing....you can get past that. falling in love with someone else will devestate and end your relationship.

[LabRat]

I would be more hurt if he shared deep dark secrets with someone else (emotional cheating) than if he screwed her (physical). I know he thinks about other women sexually (mental cheating), and I obviously can't stop that, so why let it get to me? Maybe he is still in love with a former girlfriend, but I trust that it she showed up again, he wouldn't act on those feelings now that he has made a commitment to me. If he did, there isn't a can opener big enough for the whoopass I'd open up on him.

[Happy Monkey]

Originally Posted by LabRat

If he did, there isn't a can opener big enough for the whoopass I'd open up on him.

So he'd be safe, then?

[Aliantha]

I meant what LJ said (strangely enough) when I suggested cheating mentally. I agree that in most cases, relationships can get past an infidelity of the body if that's all it is. Knowing your husband or wife or SO if you want to call them that has somehow given the secret parts of the love you share over to someone else is something that is almost impossible to 'get past'.

[lumberjim]

but you said you thought it was the same. you changed your mind?

[Aliantha]

OK...to some people cheating physically is the be all and end all right? What I'm saying is that cheating mentally can be just as bad in some peoples' books...or maybe even worse.

Me personally, I think mental cheating is worse, but then cheating physically can be very hurtful to live with too, so I guess that's why some people might think physical is worse. Hence, both can have similar meanings to different people.

My point was that you can't say that cheating mentally is less hurtful. That's all.

[LabRat]

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey

So he'd be safe, then?

Dammit. DH made fun of me for that too when he got home.

There wouldn't be a recycle box big enough for the can of whoop-ass I'd open up on him with my buns of steel...

Cocks. :p